If your child was held back, do you think it was worth it?
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Parent Answers to "If your child was held back, do you think it was worth it?"
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As an educator for the past 20 years, that question has been one of the worst struggles with which I have grappled. A good teacher will debate long and hard over this issue and will try everything within her power to prevent the need to make such a decision. Unfortunately, the answer is never clear-cut as we cannot see the future ramifications of this decision. Everyone can point to situations where the child did more poorly after retention, but we cannot say what would have happened had he/she gone on to the next grade unprepared. Likewise, as many parents could verify that social promotion injured thier child, but they cannot know the result of holding them back.
Even your own survey has produced responses that strongly support both sides.
I have seen children I wanted to retain, but did not, go on to struggle even more at the next grade, and children I did retain lose the gains due to a lack of parent support, a later teacher who did not communicate well with them, etc.
It all boils down to this...Each case is different; each child is different. If I have gained anything from reading this discussion, it is that as both educators and parents, we should give considerable thought to this decision and consider as many details as possible, putting aside personal pride and blame, for we hold the future of a child in our hands.
Even your own survey has produced responses that strongly support both sides.
I have seen children I wanted to retain, but did not, go on to struggle even more at the next grade, and children I did retain lose the gains due to a lack of parent support, a later teacher who did not communicate well with them, etc.
It all boils down to this...Each case is different; each child is different. If I have gained anything from reading this discussion, it is that as both educators and parents, we should give considerable thought to this decision and consider as many details as possible, putting aside personal pride and blame, for we hold the future of a child in our hands.
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I held my child back in first grade. At the end of the second year of first grade, it was the best thing for my son. He was immature, was found to have ADD, and having difficulty reading. With a few bumps in the road, he finished the year on B honor roll. I found that if I didn't go and stand up for my son no one else would. If you don't get the answers you want from the teacher, go to the principal. Yes, holding my son back worked for him.
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I held my son back in preschool for a year. I feel It gave him time to feel more sure of himself .He is now going into the fith grade and doing great. So yes I feel it was very much worth it.
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There is a girl in our daughter's class who will turn 10 in November of her 3rd grade year. I got my first period when I was 11, but I was in 7th grade--this poor girl is going to go through it in 3-5th grade. Image hitting puberty when your peers are begging their parents to go to the American Girl store!
She is very much out of place, doesn't fit in with her classmates, and never even gets invited to birthday parties--a major fault of the other girls' parents, if you ask me (we made sure to invite her.)
Holding kids back has major social downsides, which some schools do not take as seriously as they should--especially when holding back kids who are already old for grade.
She is very much out of place, doesn't fit in with her classmates, and never even gets invited to birthday parties--a major fault of the other girls' parents, if you ask me (we made sure to invite her.)
Holding kids back has major social downsides, which some schools do not take as seriously as they should--especially when holding back kids who are already old for grade.
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A girl in my dau's 6th grade class was retained in 3rd grade due to an LD. She has an IEP. Well she's in summer school since she did poorly on her stadarized test so it doesnt look like retention worked for her. When my dau was in 3rd grade there was a boy who was retained 2x's and he was still in the lowest reading group. If they keep retaining kids instead of remediating them it costs the taxpayer much more money and the kids lose self esteem= dropout rate increases. We will have to set aside parking spaces for these teens at the elementary!!
My vote is no to retention
My vote is no to retention
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