Counselors should encourage students, but if a D student is talking about being a doctor, the counselor also needs to discuss that challenge. I work with elementary kids and 80% of the boys are convinced that they are the next Brett Favre. I don't tell them to forget it. I do encourage all students to have back-up plans for "what if."

I want the counselor to ENCOURAGE my child. Tell the children THEY CAN DO IT. Do not EVER tell the child they are not right for what they show an interest in. Step out of your personal goals and into the childs.

Academics and College/Career planning...

Academic/ Study skills will definitely provide a strong base to enable the other areas mentioned, so I feel this needs to addressed as a priority with future planning (college/career) being based upon the students adjustments.

The national school counseling model endorsed by the American School Counseling Association, and being adopted by many states supports your thoughts. The model has students, with their parents, tracking their strengths, dreams and goals beginning in elementary school. The model advocates that counselors meet with each student and their parents to discuss these issues. By middle school, these parent-student conferences (different from the conferences parents have with teachers) focus on how to make these goals and dreams for the future a reality through properly planning their studies and course selections. "Individual Learning Plans" are developed and monitored during these conferences. Counselors, with the students and their parents, proactively facilitate setting up the student's future so they will be prepared for which ever course the student selects for after 12th grade. If this is not happening at your school, ask them why they choose not to follow the ASCA National Model.

I truly believe school counselor's need to put more emphasis in college/career planning. As parents we help our children (or at least should) develop social skills, and if a parent is involved in their child's education from the very start (as early as kindergarten) the childs academic/study skills should be developed. In this day and age counselors need to work with our children from the time they enter high school and monitor their progress in order to help them suceed and be ready for college.

Good Afternoon, MadCityScout: Well, thank you for the apology. I suspect my receiver was bent but whatever the source of the miscommunication your apology is gracious and thoughtful. Thank you.

I'm sorry if I made it sound as if you didn't know what you were talking about, that was not my intent.

I agree that ADD seems to often be a "catch all" for any nonconforming behavior. Some doctors have been all to quick to prescribe meds for ADD, without a more thorough evaluation. I do believe this is changing for the better, but that'a another kettle of fish. There are a large number of reasons that would cause classroom behavior that is similar with ADD. One must look at several indicators before diagnosing ADD.

Well hello, WildCityScout:

Wisconsin has a different plan. In Washington the school counselor did the testing; in California you can be trained only to do the test. At any rate, I am quite positive, having been there, that I do know what I am talking about.

I wasn't clear, apparently, about the ADD. The diagnosis is medical. It has been my experience, in listening to other parents, that teachers are all too willing to disuss ADD issues for any child that doesn't fit the cooperative mold. Being an R.N. I would not consider classroom behavior to be the only indicator.

The school counselor did the IQ testing? In the state I work, Wisconsin, it's not the school counselor who does any of that kind of testing, but the school psychologist. Is it possible you are mixing up the two?

While schools do use different assessments to look for ADD, ADD is a medical diagnosis that must be made by someone with a medical degree, be it a doctor or a psychiatrist. People in school can say that there are similarities that a student shows that is are consistent with ADD, but no school person can make such a diagnosis. When we suspect ADD, we advise the parents to consult a doctor and that we would be happy to share, with parental permission, the issues that we see at school.

I would agree with you that an IQ of 64 does indicate one who would likely qualify for a 'cognatively disabled' program. Good programs do as you say, teach kids living skills so that they can reach their potential as an adult and live with as little assisted living as necessary.

You are now homeschooling and this makes it easiest for you to set a learning environment that works for your children. Do you connect with other homeschooling parents? It's a great way to share ideas, do group activities and keep fresh of educational opportunities for your children.

I wish you the best.

Dear Sue:

You are very kind; I appreciate your empathy. The year before I withdrew our guy he had a wonderful special education teacher, kind and dedicated. She was accompanied by a gentle and loving assistant. It sounds like a classroom you or your friend would create. It is nice to know there are more of you out there in the classrooms.

Thank you again for your thoughtful response.

Oh, does that pain me to hear that! It breaks my heart for you and your children. I have worked in a special needs classroom with 4-8 yr. olds and absolutely loved it. We then moved with my husbands job and my best friend became the special needs teacher there. I only helped in her classroom of 7th and 8th graders but she LOVES those kids and is very knowledgeable about what she does and is always concerned about what is best for them, etc. I wish your special needs kiddos could have been a part of her classroom! However, the counselor in that school has nothing to do with them either. My friend does it all and if those "pulled out" kids are discriminated against in any way...you better back away, because you don't want to deal with her fury!

I would like the school counselors to leave us alone. In fact, I wanted that so much that we withdrew the children and are now homeschooling.

In one school year our oldest, developmentally disabled, learned to write his name. The staff was so pleased they took a picture. One and a half years later he is reading, writing and engaged. Where was the counselor when he was being warehoused?

She was taking an interest in our middle child. At six she had difficulty with transition. None-the-less, she was in five "pull out" activties. The counselor solution: I.Q. test with no consideration for ADD. The results she announced in her best psych 101 voice would be "difficult to hear". Our child tested at I.Q. 64. The counselor, without considering the number would reflect a person who needs help with acitivities of daily living, was willing to accept the result. Worse, she was willing to assign our daughter to eleven more years of being treated as if she was doing well ... " when you consider".

There is little less useless than a "helper" who is incapable of applying solutions required as opposed to solutions provided.

Being new I don't want to ruffle any feathers and have it reflect on my children. We will give it some time and see if it doesn't improve.

"My family has just moved to a new city and one of the counselors was rude to me and my child."

I am very sorry to hear this. This could be unethical and unprofessional behavior. I can't say for sure since I don't know the circumstances. Have you approached the building principal about this counselor's attitude?

I would like to see counselors help with each of these issues but I also know that if they are in a large school, they may not have much time to devote to all students in all categories. My concern is whether or not the counselor is approachable. My family has just moved to a new city and one of the counselors was rude to me and my child. My daughter is timid and has always done well in school but I am afraid that this counselor will not be of any help to her. Where is the compassion?

I would like the counselor to work with giving children specific skills for handling bullying and negative peer pressure.

An answer to the question, "Do you want the counselor to help your child with her academic/study skills, college/career planning, or social skills? Other areas?"

A school counselor should help with all those issues. We understand that this is part of our job descriptions. If one is to look at the three major domain areas that school counselors are responsible for, they are
1) Academic
2) Personal/Social
3) Career/Vocational
Since schools are in the business of academic success, we must show how our work in all three of those domains increase a student's academic success. Work in the Academic domain...study skills, attendance, course selection has an obvious impact on academic success. Work in the Career/Vocational domain also seems to have an obvious impact as making a direct correlation between academic success and succeeding in the world of work is a powerfully motivating factor. I teach some of these concepts in 5th grade. Finally, work in the Personal/Social domain also impacts academic success. Take a look at the noted psychologist Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Needs of survivial and of socialization superceed those of self-actualization. In english, this means that for most people, if they have concerns about physical survival, they will be focussed on meeting those needs before their social relationships and then self growth, which would include education. The social needs of a human, according to Maslow, supercede those of educational growth. A child who is concerned with issues such as, will there be enough food to eat tonight, or will the water get shut off today, does not have much motivation to succeed at school...that need is not as important as eating and drinking. Now, social needs, friendship issues, bullying, isolation, grief of a lost loved one and the like will interfere with the desire for academic success. It is the counselor's responsibility help the student cope with these situations and stay motivated as a learner. This is where school counselors are uniquely qualified as opposed to any other school employee. Sadly, not everyone understands this role of the school counselor and that makes it easier to assign other tasks to counselors and even cut them from school staff when budgets get tight.

I know this was lenthy and I hope it answers your question (the simple answer is the counselor should help with everything you mentioned in your question and respond to emergency situations as they arise). If you need clarification of anything I wrote, please don't hesitate to ask.

I am an elementary school counselor. Perhaps I can shed some light on these issues. I deal with virtually all of the topics previously mentioned. Teaching about social skills is part of career education, in my opinion, because one needs to know how to work with others in the work environment. That includes working with people you don't like, communication skills, anger management and conflict resolution skills, to name a few. However, elementary counselors also do more direct teaching about jobs and careers. We hold a career fair every year in which 4th and 5th grade students get to attend speakers from local businesses who explain their job training, schooling, work environment and typical salary. We also use a fun computer program that surveys kids interests and allows them to explore jobs that match their interests. They enjoy this activity very much. Finally, helping students and families understand those standardized test scores and how to use the information is another component of our jobs. Counselors, K-12 are concerned with students in Academics, Career paths and Socially. Our organizations, such as the American School Counselor Association and state school counselor associations have created models for Comprehensive School Counseling Models that provide guidelines for implementing a quality school counseling program and benchmarks to work for as well as assessments to show how the comprehensive school counseling program is helping students succeed academically, learn to get along with others and plan for the future.

I hope this information is helpful and I hope to keep up with this thread as much as possible.

It depends on the age of the child, but most certainly, counselors should help with all of the above. In my opinion, social skills are the most important, as these skills carry on throughout a person's life, no matter their direction. Certainly, academic/study skills are important, expecially in middle and high school years, and college/career planning become very important to high school kids. My son has Asperger's Syndrome, a high functioning form of Autism, so social skills are a great challenge for him.

A school counselor should be able to talk beyond studies which build a student into better citizen tomorrow.

I don't want to debate this social skill in elementary but if I believed that I would sign my child up for after school sports, theatrical plays. Look why kids not from US exceed at scholar levels.

If I had to do it all again I would change it up in this area.

Could you expand on what you meant by standardized tests and bench mark are preventing children from being children. I am not seeing this in our community.

Our teachers are not all stressed out over standardized testing, they are simply teaching from the districts standard curriculum, which is very thorough and fundamental. My children, who are in grades 2 and 4 have "cut their teeth" on strong curriculum, while at the same time enjoying 2 recesses per day, and outstanding special classes - including art, music, PE, orchestra, and chorus. Our community offeres excellent sports programs for children from age 4 through high school.

Social Skills are the most important in the elementary grades. Learning about the silent cues and flighty friendships. To follow the character counts pillars helps the young ones respect and value the world around them. Also how to cope with home problems, death and divorce. These are the areas I spend most of my time in as a guidance counselor in the lower grades- there is plenty of time to focus on what do I want to be in the later years. Children have to be children and education standards and benchmarks are taking most of that away.

to care about the minority, as much as he care about his own kind.

I would like to see more counselors actually "counseling" vs. organizing standardized tests, etc...

Depending on the age bracket - Elementary and Middle School - Academic/study skills. Middle School - High School - College/career planning.

In my experience the Elementary counselor should already be planting the seed for High School. Middle School planting the seed for High School and what is required for College. Middle School there should be parent assembly about what is required of your child to be sucessful in High School and what is required for them to get into State vs University and Cost associated.

It depends on the age of the child. My son is now in High School, and the counselor tried to meet with all the Freshmen individually after a few weeks of class, and be sure they were "adjusting" to H.S. He encouraged them to get involved in at least one extracurricular activity, and he told them about services available in the school, such as a "writing lab" or "math lab" if they needed help with academics. He didn't teach study skills or social skills himself. He's been more of a "resource person" who can direct kids to the right people. He can make schedule changes and advise kids on types of classes that they might want to sign up for, based on their interests, but there is a separate counselor at my son's school who handles all college placement issues. I believe that the college counselor does talk to the individual counselor when it comes writing recommendation letters. Overall, it seems like a good arrangement as far as I'm concerned.