How do I know if retaining my 3rd grader another year because of social immaturity is the right thing to do?

Thank you mytwoboys I was so greatful to see your comment. I retained my daughter in third grade, she is dyslexic- it was the most difficult decision I ever made. But she had a wonderful year and a much better foundation to build on in fourth grade.

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts with me. It was all very helpful and supportive!

As a parent of three boys ages ranging from 2 to 12 years I've noticed how difficult it has been for my son to learn. Since kindergarten his teachers and I have been hoping that he would "grow" out of the hyperness and impulsive behavior issues. Last year I consented for the school to test him for learning disabilities, excluding ADHD. They did so and found nothing. I am following up with his pediatrician who referred me to child psychiatry for testing of ADHD as the school does not test for this disability.

At a recent parent-teacher-resource conference we all agreed for my child to receive help in math as he is struggling to learn this subject. Last year he struggled to learn reading and this group and I all agreed to provide him help in reading. His latest tests revealed that he is reading at '6th' grade level. He also attended summer school last year and attends tutoring two times a week. He also plays soccer year round, basketball and actively particpates in various church activities such as the junior ushers and choir.

So the school is not recommending he be retained, I am. His father believes it will crush his desire to learn and does not support it. I also believe this may damage his self esteem initally but also see how the end result could help him. I only want what's best for my child. He enjoys helping people. This sometimes interferes with his ability to make good choices.

Im against retention. But as you read it is a personal decision. All the research points to not retaining. Why are you thinking retention? Do You or the school wants this??

I was a 3rd grade teacher for 4 years in a state that allowed a test to determine pass or fail. It didn't matter whether the child was socially ready. In my opinion, don't hold back a child because of social immaturity. At that age they change so much. Just being with different classmates or a new best friend can help them change. Instead I'd let your son move on the 4th grade and maybe get him involved in an activity outside of school. That way he has a new group of friends to play with. Retention causes students to have lower self-concepts.