The biggest trouble I have seen with this issue is the way the 2 groups PTO members and not PTO members view each other . The nonmembers a lot of times see the PTO as a clique and for anyone who can still remember high school everyone wanted to set at the cool kids table but had to big of a fear of rejection to try . The PTO a lot of times view nonmembers as uninterested or not willing to help so they do not ask them and this behavior keep the cycle going .

I am a PTO president and I will tell you from first hand that the PTO can very quickly become a clique if members are not careful . we work very closely together and friend ships get formed and that is the best part about PTO. We need to remember new friends are silver old friends are gold and both are worth having .
If you are not a member you really need to come to a meeting before you pre judge. If you have concerns voice them but do it in polite way .

I had a new member judge me over every thing that was done last year when I was vice president and basically tell me I was wrong and how I needed to do things . This is really the wrong way to go about it .
If you have great ideas or any ideas share them but don't put down other ideas or be rude . Also remember as an office I am working on any number of projects from fund raiser ideas to donations every day so make sure if you want to give out orders you can also help with what you think needs to be done .
We need to break down walls and open the lines of communication on both sides . That is the only way change and more help will ever come .

If you do get a parent who wants to walk in tell you what to do have you cater to them be nice and take it on the chin and explain that this is a group for all and we have to look at things in a way that is best for all. Always be polite no matter how mad or upset you get and vent it out at home and not to other members .

ANY member may ask to see the budget at any time. It's worth doing if you have any questions. At every meeting (board and general) we go over the financial reports and discuss current budget concerns.

The budget is approved at the last meeting of the school year, so that spending can occur over the summer to prepare for the new year. Then at the first meeting of the new year, the budget is discussed and approved again by the current membership. Many people are surprised that the planning is done so far in advance, and that it's not easy to jump in mid-year and make changes. It is a good idea to find out what's going on now, and then think about suggesting changes around mid-year, which would then be implemented next year.

Our PTA is currently paying for the part-time computer teacher, the once-a-month Meet the Masters art teacher, the benefits for the PE teacher, the busses for the field trips, gifts for the teachers, and many other activities each year.

The PTA budget comes from donations from families and local businesses.

Wine, if you're concerned about your local PTA, definitely join and volunteer to be on the budget and finance committee. You'll learn a lot and quickly!

What is your pta doing for you? Is it costing you money? If it is, where does the PTA's money come from?

Thanks, sometimes it is very hard to talk, like you said inner shyness, I found this worked out very well. Also alot more participation and praise for their ideas meant alot

Well, there are obviously multiple reasons to this issue. I feel that most of it has to do with social skills! Most people have a hard time communicating effectively perhaps due to their inner shyness. Many "active" members find it easier to simply ask another member or friend for help rather then reaching out to new people. Language barrier maybe an issue but not a problem per se. We have overcome this issue by posting sign up sheets on the front door. Also, I was able to gather a large team of volunteers (mostly non-PTA members) to help out with the planting day. Surprisingly, most of those volunteers were non-English speaking. Most of them said to me that they had never been asked before!

I like it. I believe many would be willing to bring up their issues if they had a level of anonimity. It can be frightening to feel like you are the only person willing to voice your concerns out loud - people staring at you or whispering behind your back. The person that reads the concerns needs to be someone who is good at translating what is written into a standard format (proper english, without changing the intended concern) so that the proficiency of the writer doesn't sway other people whether or not to take things seriously - or begin conjecturing on who might have written it.
I think I will try this at our upcoming "coffee" event.

I understand, and it also depends if it is a small town and close knit community. I would pick a place and invite parents to come for coffee, bring pastry etc and have a get to know you event. Have each parent write on a piece of paper what is important to them, put it in a container and read them out load, making sure they don't put their names on the paper, then get a discussion going. Everyone should respect what is written as it may be the person sitting next to you. I feel that when you show them they are a part of this in every way you will have more help.

Winetuscany, I think you really meant, this isn't supposed to be a popularity contest. Unfortunately, in many places, it is. I have spent the last 4 years trying to get our PTA away from the image of being a clique that you have to be invited into to participate. It is paying off. We now have more people participating and volunteering than we have had in many years. It has been a slow process, it is hard to rebuild the trust of parents after they have been burned by former "leaders." I would say I am not sure how that would pan out at the middle and high school levels where the parents change over more often (4 year maximum, we hope, per student) but I am now involved in our band booster program and we are going through the same kind of thing.
The leaders must be willing to listen to and talk with all of the parents - especially the ones viewed as "bad" (sorry, can't really come up with a better term for the attitude) parents because they don't appear to care about their kids schooling. Many of them are afraid due to a bad experience either during their own schooling or as a parent of a young child - some just don't know how to be helpful and supportive because they were not raised by helpful, supportive adults themselves They are the people we need to reach out to if we are going to help all of the children in our schools!

Parents participate for the sake of their children, this isn't a popularity contest...lol..eveyone has a right to speak, be heard, and present solutions like everyone else.

I went to my state's pta convention last weekend and one of the keynotes speakers (and workshop presenters) was none other that our new national president-elect, Chuck Saylors. If you haven't had the opportunity to talk to Chuck or hear him speak, try to find out when he will be in your area, it will be worth it.
Some of the things Chuck brought up, that we never think about include: most people who shy away from participation do so because they see you as the model and think they have to do just as much as you do if they choose to be involved, studies have been done and the #1 barrier to participation by Hispanic families isn't what we think, it is transportation, and men are more likely to get involved if asked by a man.
Just a little food for thought when we are deciding what we need to do to get more people involved.

GimmeCoffee, thank you so much for understanding my point of view.

It seems as though schools and PTO's consistently complain about lack of parent involvement without considering reasons for it.

I was glad that our PTO listened and made meetings and activities more available for everyone. It is so nice to feel welcome in the school setting.

Oklahoma1, I'm glad your PTO responded to your criticism and changed their schedule. It is never easy to get a meeting time that works for everyone, but daytime seems unfair to more people than evenings. We tried alternating but that just confused everybody. We do only evenings, same time and day every meeting, and that seems to work.

More importantly, I am glad that your PTO has become more open and welcoming. I'd hate feeling shut out of my kids' school. Also--the canceled meeting was just unacceptable and I hope the PTO heard about it from lots of parents.

Until recently our Parent/Teacher Organization held every meeting at 9:15 a.m. which was most convenient for stay at home moms rather than dual income families. Dual income families felt left out and pushed away. I felt the PTO only wanted me for financial contributions and nothing else.

On one occasion, I made plans to take the morning off work to attend a PTO meeting. After several parents arrived for the meeting (being held on a day when lots of parents were at the school already for holiday parties), the principal announced the meeting had be canceled without notice. I was later informed by the principal that the meeting was canceled because more parents than expected were in attendance and the PTO president was afraid to speak
in front of large groups.

This also left me with the impression that the PTO was intended for smaller gatherings (just the PTO officers).

I resented the PTO and refused to join or participate in their fundraisers.

I am a parent who works full-time with a 40 minute commute to and from work each day. My work hours are from 8:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.

Time off work must be scheduled in advance. I didn't trust the PTO after cancelling a meeting that I tried to attend without notice or good cause.

I wanted to be more involved with school and the PTO, but felt the school and PTO didn't really want me there.

Some of us working parents expressed our views to the school principal about the PTO's reputation as seeming to purposely exclude working parents by scheduling meetings at 9:15 a.m. when most people are at work and they know it.

As of last school year, all PTO meetings are now scheduled to take place in the evening when most parents are able to attend. I am now a member of the PTO. The PTO is now trying to make all parents feel welcome, has more parent participation and fundraising sales are up. Go figure!

This is a great question. I can't speak for all schools, but I think language is one of the biggest reasons parents do not get involved in our schools. Parents who do not speak English usually do not make it to, parent teacher conference, PTA's, or school events. This usually happens because they might feel embarrassed or uneducated and therefore spare themselves the embarrassment at the cost of the child's education. I think that if we focus more on helping bi-lingual parents learn English, we can begin to see more parent involvement. Parents who are informed, participate.

There will always be people who don't have time, and there will always be those who complain about decisions that they did not help make. There are also people who feel like you are personally bugging them by asking for help every week in your e-mails, which of course go to everybody in your membership.

All you can do is be clear about your goals and your needs, and tell them what to expect from you. I tell people that we will be asking for help frequently and we appreciate it if they say "yes" at least once during the year. They are free to delete and ignore what doesn't apply to them. Our job is to make our requests clear and concise so they can figure out which ones should not be ignored. :)

Some people just do not have time for the PTA/PTO
supply flyer's to the school to be distributed through their students that say: having a mixer to get as many involved: child care provided, use of the school try to have some teachers and most important administration
make sure that you have sign up lists for all the things the PTO/PTA wanted to accomplish for the year; plus hand outs asking for any ideas in any areas the parents do not feel are covered.
After that the ones involved take it from there and ones not involved should have nothing to say.

Webfrogy, I agree but also think it's just human nature for people not to reach out to the PTA. We have to reach out to them. As a shy person myself, I completely understand why people don't always come looking for us.

I send out weekly e-mails and have contact info listed in weekly paper newsletters, plus our website and various places around the school. Still, 99% of the e-mails I get are from people who have met me in person. In 3 years of being the main point of contact for e-mail, I've heard from maybe 5 people I hadn't met before.

That personal connection, though it's time-consuming and difficult, has been by far the most effective way for us to reach people.

I value your reply about reaching out to parents. Though I find as Recording secretary and chair of the Newsletter, that if we put ourselves out there too much, parents get annoyed, or intimidated and find themselves even backing off. At the fear of seeming redudndant, I feel like those of us already involved start taking on more responsibilities, rather than keep asking people to get involved. I also feel that often times, we try so hard to prepare for involvement, and then have leftovers, fundraisers and snacks, etc. But when we don't plan for enough, we seem too "closed." Additionally, what gets me is the parents who complain about our activities, meetings and committees, but then they themselves just do not get involved to make change and they don't attend anyway.

Sorry Mezz, you asked me a question and I missed it. The short answer is that we do the fundraisers that will work for us depending on our manpower and goals for that year. The past two years we've chosen to do one selling (cookie dough) and one "just write the check" (walkathon.) The Walkathon is my all-time favorite event but we haven't met our $$ goals with it so this year we have an auction instead. I am not too excited about this but I'm very happy that someone else wants to be in charge and will do a fantastic job!

In my opinion, I think communication is the main problem in why parents who are not involved feel the the PTA is a clique or non welcoming and is why PTA's sometimes feel that parents don't care.

Alot of parents are not going to seek out someone in the PTA to ask questions so the PTA needs to put the information out there for the parents. For the parents who may want to seek out someone in the PTA, they need to know who those people are.

I like your thinking with the first day of school. That may be an idea for next year. We too have drawings at our meetings. However I like the idea of another ticket if it's the parents first time. Can I ask what you do for fundraisers? Any hints would be appreciated!
Thanks!

"I'm too busy" is a convenient excuse, as is "They are a clique and they don't welcome me!" Both have some merit, but it's worth a little discomfort to make your child's school a better place. Show up and and see what's going on. You'll be nervous--bring a friend if it helps.

I have asked our entire board to be as friendly and welcoming as humanly possible. We start with an event called "Tea and Tissues" the first morning of school. We make sure at least one board member meets every parent who comes in. We try to find someone else to introduce to them as well (parents of classmates, neighbors, etc.) I do a short welcome, where I say that we are here to help them connect with their child's school and with each other. We tell them what to expect from us and how to contact us and keep in touch.

We keep trying to make our meetings as easy as possible to attend. We have a sponsor who gives us free pizza, and we hire a great preschool teacher to watch the kids in the art room so they can come without disrupting (though they are welcome in our room if they need Mom.)

We keep people informed of what is coming up, where their money is going, and what we need. We encourage dialogue, but honestly we rarely hear from anyone. When we get an occasional complaint, we handle it courteously, quickly and honestly. I consider a complaint a request for more information, not an attack. If they're not complaining to us, they're in the parking lot complaining to their friends, which means we don't have the opportunity to help them.

Our meetings are fun. We started doing door prizes, which isn't too hard since we only meet 5 times a year. Usually we can get something donated or find something nice in the $25 range. I'll share my patented door prize technique with you because I think it's brilliant. :) We do it right in the middle of the meeting, when everyone is there. We ask people to raise their hands if this is their first meeting. We go around and give each person a second drawing ticket, look them in the eye and thank them for coming. Then we do the drawing. It's a lot of fun and gives people something to talk about later.

I send out a meeting report the next day by e-mail. Not minutes, just a quick informal rundown of what happened, including who won what door prize, key vote decisions, and upcoming dates. I recognize that people can't always come but want to know what's going on. I want them to know what they missed, and to ask questions (which they often do.)

We can't reach everybody, but the word has spread that we have a good PTA and it's worth spending a little time helping out. We are not a wealthy school, nor do we have a huge PTA, but we are scrappy and effective. :)

I'll be at this elementary school for a total of 12 years, and I realize that I can't do everything this year but over time my efforts will add up. I try to help people realize this about themselves. An hour or two here and there really does help, and joining PTA doesn't mean you make it a lifestyle! We appreciate what everyone can give, and we hope it will be rewarding enough that they'll come back. Hope some of this info helps!

I agree with the 2 writers below. I am the VP of my sons school. The rest of the board members get frustrated as well as the lack of parent and even teacher involvement. Parents often say that they don't want to join as they have no time to volunteer. We have our contact information on our PTA board in front of the school and have an upcoming events poster. I just think that no matter what we do or how friendly and accessible we are that some parents just don't care and THANK GOD for those who do.

My children have all graduated from school and are now in college or graduated from college as well. My husband and I were always very involved with their activities at school and were PTA members and officers several years running. Our biggest frustration at that time was parent involvement. We heard the same complaints that you do now we don't feel welcome or blah blah blah. That is their excuse for not attending. If you PTA was like ours we were desperate for help and we didn't care if you rich or poor we just needed parent involvement. When we had fund raisers or any other events it was always the same volunteers that showed up. Unfortunately in this day of age the only time you see a parent is when they have a complaint or to pick up and drop off their child. So many of them look at school as a free baby sitter then when their child gets in trouble they say what happened. What happened is they did not take their parental responsiblity seriously and were not active in their childs life at school or home. Teacher / TV / Video Games that is way most children spend their time. I don't know how to help. We would call every parent starting the week prior to the PTA meeting as a reminder, we would also create and send home flyers with the child the week of and day of the meeting and when it was time there was little or no response. We tried doing rewards for the class that had the most parents attend the meeting they would get a pizza party or ice cream party the following Friday. The kids would be excited but the parents considered it a burden and did not want to be bothered. The biggest turn out we had was when we put on an event where their child was going to be in that night. The only problem with that is it was only the grade that was doing the skit that showed up and even then half of the parents didn't show up or complained that they did not have time to bring their child up there. The excuse that we always received was that they worked well so did my husband and I but we made time to attend our childs school functions.

I am actively involved in my child's school PTA. I have taken on several leadership roles this year specifically because I want to be connected and knowledgeable and partially responsible for the value and level of his expereince at the school. Though I find that PTA members and leaders can have a bad-rep. It hurts me to know that while there are some very strong negative opinions among some parents who do not get involved, they choose to stay at a distance and never get involved to change what they don't like. My belief in life, and it stretches from PTA to parenting to customer service- IF you choose not to get involved or you choose not to make your concerns known, and you do take an active role in producing a solution, you are just as much at fault for the lack of change, as the other parties involved. With PTA, I always keep focused on the idea that the end result of all we do is for the betterment of the students, and some day, those students will be members of our society, and while they are young and dependent, we owe them the very best opportunity-and some times this is not a financially dependent experience.