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After I put an end to my 8 year olds playdates with another student at her school, becuase the mother was undermining my authority.  The mother retaliated and was tormenting my child at school 2-3 times a week at recess, for months.I had to obtain a TRO and go to court for protection, since the school and the district were incompitent.  I had to move my child to another class and ultimately move 2 of my children to another school and then move out of town.  The mother was spreading vicious rumors about me and my family and I wanted to protect my children.  It is a small town.  The parent is still volunteering at the school.  I get word that she still intimidates children at the school.  The mother uses volunteering and mentoring, to have access to the school on a daily basis.  She is also very involved with the principal, and is the topic of many of the boys and parents jokes.  Other parents at the school are too scared to make a stand.  As a nurse I feel obligated to protect the children and stop this schools lack  of judgement. The school is a Charter school and did not follow any LAUSD policy . LAUSD did nothing.  I don't even know if they know about this, they did not respond. The principal tried to downplay the incidents.  Does anyone know who or how I can get this school to be accountable?  It has taken me a year to gather myself after all the court stuff and moving.  I feel like I need to do something more and that the school should be forced to change.  My daughter should not have had to move, the mother should have been blocked from campus.  Why did this happen?

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Parent Replies to "Parent harassing a student"

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interested
interested June 5, 2008
Re: Parent harassing a student
Thank you for replying redfrog and ballmom and for your support. Yes, at times I felt so powerless and so frustrated, to think these people are responsible for all these children.

I had never encountered a psychopath before.
interested
interested June 5, 2008
Re: Parent harassing a student
Yes, I also visited all the psych sites and bought many books and saw many Doctors. I kept hearing from the books and the specialists to create distance. The mothers behavior was escalating each time I created distance. My child was self destructing and in fear of leaving the house. I got a 3 yr. RO and we moved away. My daughter has recovered and a stronger person because of it.

I called the State Dept. of Education and they told me the only way to get the school and District to be accountable and follow policy was to sue or get the Board involved. I have a meeting with the board on June25. For the life of me, I can't understand how this school is so scared of this parent. At the trial the administration gave me a hug and praised me for what I was doing, but then I hear that this parent is up to her old behavior and working at the school. t is all so weird. You are so lucky the school is proactive. Good luck!
TheRedFrog
TheRedFrog June 5, 2008
Welcome to Narcissism 101
That's the title of a site I visited recently because I am facing a similar situation. The difference is that my daughter was upfront and direct with the other girl. This girl simply does not handle rejection well and as we're finding out, neither does her mother.

The more we've dealt with this family, the more evidence we have of the borderline personality issues involved and it's become quite obvious that we will simply have to ignore their efforts to incite (anger/guilt/etc.) until they tire of it and choose a new target. We, too, were apalled to learn that the mother felt it was okay to address my daughter about this issue directly during school hours.

While the school administration has been very good about responding to this issue, we are also arming ourselves with an arsenal of literature about bullying and was referred to a book that covers specific steps of how to apply law in these situations. I'll try to post the title later tonight.

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. It makes you feel powerless when you're the only one willing to take a stand.
ballmom5
ballmom5 May 19, 2008
Re: Parent harassing a student
I have been 9 months dealing with this and have just sent the "step 4" appeal in to the state super office.
Seems that they made it hard just so we will stay out of it. When my son's principal stated at the level 3 meeting that "if it wasn't for you coming to the school your son would have not been expelled from the bball team", you could have knocked me over, but do you know that although this was stated in front of the elected boe members, they still denied my appeal for these suspensions. It is apparent that they retaliate and then the kids suffer, but I am not giving up. Parents need to be involved or it appears that the school does what they want and if the bully's parents yell real loud, well too bad for us who set by and let this happen. We were granted the peace bond on the ex girlfriend's ftr and now he will be arrested for missing his hearing. Sometimes justice falls hard if you keep plugging. No one should have their civil rights violated esp a child, they should not have to move but I wonder now if my son would have been better off. He has one more year but this one has really taken the wind from his sails. I am very disheartened by what he has suffered, maybe in some way this has made him better, only time will tell.
You must hold their feet to the fire, call everyone, report, document and don't stop. Abuse continues only with silence.
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