Eaglesfan!
I have the exact same child as you!!! He has been anxious since Kindergarten, has had the same course of treatment/therapy/meds, etc. with not much success.

He functions normally at home, its school that seems to be the problem.

We have started 9th grade a few weeks ago, and he has been unable to attend very much so far. Our school's policy is that after 10 absences, you are a candidate for failure. He is now over the 10 absences and it is only September!!!

We are at our wits end of what to do with him. We are starting to think of alternative programs, such as a virtual learning school that he could do on line at his own pace. Have you looked into this?

My son sounds very much like your son, where he is academically bright, socially acceptable with friends, and even has an interest in girls. It is the ENTIRE school environment that throws him into a different tailspin. Some days we cannot get him out of the car. If he is able to go to school, he will go to one class and then "has had it".

Have you had any success with anything else? I would love to hear from you!!!

Perhaps check into online public high school? My son is 16 and hated the smells, noise, and pressure of the traditional public school. He is now enrolled in an online high school through Insight School of Washington. Insight has online public schools all over the US. Because they are public school options, tuition is free! Check out www.insightschools.net/
Good luck!

Activities can call up anxiety - he doesn't have to be anxious all of the time to have issues with anxiety. Many kids don't like school but not all kids feel overwhelmed with anxiety when in school. And if any activity is likely to bring on anxiety, it would be school. It's a judgmental place. The point and purpose of school is to assign tasks and to see who performs best at those tasks - it's a wonder more kids aren't made anxious by school but can anyone wonder why kids dislike school?
Have you ever spent a day at your son's school or a part of a day? I'd suggest doing that - it can open your eyes as to what your son is experiencing. Schools tend to be overcrowded and students are given but a few minutes to make their way from one class to the next - and teachers often place great emphasis on not being late so students push and shove to get down the crowded halls. Sit for the length of a class period in the hard chairs that are provided and see how uncomfortable it is and how hard it is to sit still in those chairs - you're constantly shifting trying to find a comfortable spot.
Some teachers Love to pop quizzes - that's nerve wracking. Some class periods are only spent going over the homework and then more homework is assigned.Some teachers live on the edge of frazzled and some teach over that edge and there are even a few with anger management issues.
Most students console themselves with the fun of being around others of their own age. Does your son have friends in his school? That can help a lot.

Are there alternative schools in your area? Changing schools to a different type of school can help if other types of schools are available. My own son refused to return to school the day before his 10th grade year saying he just wasn't able to 'take it anymore'.

If I were you, I would ask his doctor about social anxiety disorder. I would also request that he be placed in small group settings (smaller classes) only and make sure he has a quiet place to go in between classes. He could leave class a few minutes early and arrive in his next class before the bell rings. You may want to talk to your son about bullying and make sure that is not an issue. Hope this helps.

You did not mention if your son has a learning disability? The first thought I have is that if you have not had him tested, that would be the first place to start. When our daughter was in 1st grade, she would fight me all the way through reading homework.

Most kids feel very anxious about high school but for some kids its more than that. I have been fighting for my son to be placed at a school that fits his needs for several years.Does your son have differences with his learning slyeie; trouble with reading writing or math?? Sometimes these issues really can add so much more anxiety. My son attended a boarding school for Dyslexic students. I have him on no meds and he is a happy,well adjusted boy for the first time in a school setting. The drawback is it costs a small fortune..To see my son smile...PRICELESS

have you considered homeschool/independent studies? tons of kids are doing it a are very successful, most disrticts offer IS through local schools as an alternative..... school is not.... for every kind of kid, there are many alternatives due to learning styles, learning curves, independent work/learn at own pace sort of thing,obviously, reg. school does not work for his learning needs..... so, change them

eaglesfan,
I completely sympathize w/your situation. We have been living w/school anxiety for two years. Our son has missed much school, thrown up before school and crying and dreading school. We did not seek professional counseling as he also seems to do well at home. Does your child have a learning disability? We have implemented a reward system at home for daily successes and larger rewards for weekly/monthly successes. Can you get support at the school level. For example, our son was give the responsibility as a school leader and involved in various school projects. For us its about building up the confidence and self esteem. In our child's eyes he was afraid of failing. Also understanding and "naming" his disability was very helpful. Hang in there and don't give up.