My 11 year old might have ADD... at least, that's my reckoning on it.

My son, who is 7, got a school diagnosis of Asperger's and ADHD recently, but when they assessed my daughter (who has only been in this school since 4th grade) they were convinced that she had nothing wrong with her.

Well, I agree, there is nothing wrong with her. But something isn't right, just the same. She is smart, one of the smartest kids the testers had tested, so said the one who covered that category (she said it to my daughter, which gave me pause. My kid thinks she already knows everything, and grandiose praise really should be delivered with certain reservations). Yet for reasons they never identified aloud, she is doing poorly.

Now, I can only imagine the implications. It's our fault, it's her attitude, something is to blame that they can't handle, I dunno. But here's how it stands.

"One of the smartest kids" they've ever tested had to be put into a lower level math because she had failed to learn a lot of the things that they had in fact taught her class. She is doing poorly in every subject, even the ones she likes or is in fact especially good at (she's an advanced reader and reads all the time, yet has poor reading scores. Go figure). Her spelling is terrifying, no matter how well she learns the words for a particular test. She can with effort learn them and parrot them back. But left to her own reasoning, she presents some very interesting ideas on spelling. I'm convinced that the school that taught her spelling did not teach it very well. Had I realized, I would have stepped in sooner.

She sits and draws in class, loses assignments, forgets books, fails to complete homework, forgets (or lies about) assignments even when asked, fails to turn in homework even when we've completed it together, won't take notes (presented with the pencil and paper, she is too tempted to draw, I guess)... well, there you go.

I'm sure I'm no help. I try to be, but my real attitude must be written all over my face. I think the focus should be on how much actually soaks in, and that the rubbish busy work is just that. Reams of paper wasted to make the same insipid points over and over. But I don't tell her that... I tell her the value of learning to work, that working on a project in stages makes it possible to do a better job, that she should put things immediately into her folder if she is going to need them later so as to not forget them, that her teachers deserve her respect, and when all else fails, if she does not like the teachers to at least be respectful and consider it practice for adult life!

So I am at the point where I am considering whether it is worth it to consult the pediatrician. My son is still struggling and I suspect a professional assessment in his case might be more worthwhile than the semi-professional guesses of the school. It's not that I think they're wrong. I'm pretty sure I have what he has, actually. Or that I am what he is, rather. 

What benefits might there be from a professional assessment for both children? The gain for my daughter is obvious. If there is some subtle learning disability, one outside the usual that schools test for, or if she might be as I think a textbook example of a girl with ADD (considered belligerent instead of deemed worthy of help) then maybe she can get some help. I just need some idea how to help her get things together before she fails 5th grade. Or worse (I think), before she is promoted with borderline grades and lacking what she needs to handle 6th grade.

If I irritate anyone with my attitudes, I apologise. I've been through public school myself. I've been treated as a problem child, as they called us then, called hyperactive and put into incompetent therapy all while my so-called peers mocked and teased me, daily, for years, and the teachers and administration seemed to think they were justified in doing it. When, in high school, I did make some effort to make straight A's, I only managed it for grading period. It still makes me wonder if it was them or me. I never could seem to figure out what it was that they wanted from me. I swear every teacher did things completely differently. It hardly seems fair. I can't just assume my kids are being difficult or undisciplined (we try, really, they just don't seem to think loss of priveleges, however beloved, is enough reason to behave) until I find out if there's something missing that they need to succeed.