Mornings Are Difficult (and Evenings too)!

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Balancing Kids, Work and Everything Else

More experienced working parents please share your thoughts with me on this.

In spite of my best efforts to get a routine into place, mornings in my home are chaos. My toddler chases after me as I get ready, crying and yelling for me to pick her up. My half asleep husband, (he works many nights until 11pm or later) in spite of his best efforts to help get our daughter ready, is just too tired to engage her in play or distract her from me. I often leave the house feeling stressed before my work day has even begun.

Evenings aren't much easier because I'm on my own with my daughter and she's usually cranky after playing hard all day at daycare. I put away my phone and email and totally focus on her but sometimes I'm SO tired. It's really hard not to feel guilty.

I would really appreciate any insights, ideas, or advice. Thanks!

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Parent Replies to "Mornings Are Difficult (and Evenings too)!"

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WOW - you just described me about 14 years ago. My husband was working fulltime and going to school fulltime - so I was pretty much a single working mom.
Here is what I did....I would get up early (sometimes really early) so that I could get ready before my daughter woke up. During that time I would also do any 'prep' work for the day - then I would wake her up and get her ready and she'd have my attention and found that it was less hectic that way.
After work, I would pick her up and we'd go home and play - just her and I....give her my undivided attention for a little while (that seemed to help since I was gone from her all day) and then I would fix dinner. After dinner, I'd give her a bath - and I'd play and talk to her while she was taking a bath, then we'd watch a program she could pick out and then read a short story then off to bed for her by about 8pm or so. Once she was in bed, I woulld spend the next hour doing the chores, cleaning up dinner, prepping for next days meals, packing the diaper bag, getting her clothes and my clothes out for the next day. My house has always been pretty clutter free, so it's pretty ogranized and picking up toys is easy - because she had to help with that.
I did laundry on Saturday's throughout the day and that was eaiser on me then trying to do it during the week. My husband also was a big help with laundry - maybe yours can to :-)
After chores, I would relax until about 10pm then go to bed so that I could get up early the next morning.
I know it sounds tiring, but it really worked and I found it was less chaotic for me - we probably did it just like that for about 5 years (and I had a 2nd child).
It gets easier and they become more self sufficient. If your child doesn't go to bed directly at a regular time, I HIGHLY recommend getting her on a schedule like that - it might take a few nights of crying and fits, but in the end, it pays off.

Well I feel for you. We get hectic here too. I just make sure all their stuff like clothes are picked out Sunday night for the whole week. I have a clothes organizer that they pick out what they want to wear it has to have from socks, undies to clothes. I check it and that is done for the week. Find your toddlers interests. Music seems to be my toddlers thing so put in a musical video. Let them eat while you are getting yourself ready. Kids only need quality not quantity so find a little hold the toddler when they first wake up and then when you pick her up talk to him/her about their day and engage them into something that works for them when you are doing your stuff. Have a teenager come and entertain your toddler while you are resting. When you have someone their while you are together that will relieve your guilt plus get what you want to do even if it is a nap. Don't forget about you mom. Take a few for you. It is not selfish it is called SANITY SAVING TIME!

My husband leaves by 430am and doesn't get home till 630pm so I am left to do most house stuff by myself. Heres what I do to make things smoother for myself and kids. The little one gets her bath after diner while I hurry and put diner things away and do dishes. Dad plays with her then when I'm done, I wash her. Then everyone helps to get ready for the morning and the kids are in bed by 8. In the morning I get up one hour before the kids need to get up so I can shower, eat, and get myself ready. Then my 10 yr old gets up to shower and eat. I wake the little girl up 1 hour before we leave to eat and get in a little play time with her brother and then we are out the door. When i get home i start getting diner ready before my son gets home. Then when he gets home we play around for a little while or do homework. At times it can be hectic but there are always days when its not. You just get in a pattern over time and go with it.

I really understand what your saying I have 3 kids to get ready 9 yrs old, 4yrs old, and 5months old. I wake up each kid one at a time, the older two switch; one showers the night before and the other will wake up and shower in the morning. I must say my 4yr old loves showering in the morning it relaxes him, it wakes him up. I wash him up and I will blow dry my hair while he gets a little water play time and he's good to go. My husband works mon. tues, and Wed. 24 hr shifts but my kids are so use to the schedule that when he is there on Thurs. and Fri. the routine is the same. Hang in there it gets better.

Well I hope I can try but I have 3 kids 2 5yr olds and a 3 yr old. I make a point to wake an hour before I wake them to get dressed my coffee, lunch and what ever else. Then it because another task waking them and getting them dressed and moving. After school I use to let them have free time but know it is sit and do a little h.w. snack/dinner, maybe a walk then bath (takes almost 45-1hr)then maybe 1/2 hr cartoons before bed.

That is all from about 4or 5 pm till 9, they have to be in bed by 9on the way to dream land.
And somewhere in there I have to actually make real dinner for my husband and I when he gets in after 7 or 8. I hope it my give u some ideas.
It is a process.

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