Transitioning to Kindergarten

As a kinder teacher I can tell you that the average kindergartner may cry off and on for about 2 weeks. its hard on everybody ..... the teacher wants valium, the parents feel guilty, and the kid wants to run..... its one of many things that go along with formal education ...... I think the kid that adjust the best are the ones that hae had preschool .... some families don't take this route for various reasons, but then the transition of going to school is a lot harder and everyone has to take deep breaths ..... imagine having 2-3 kids crying at the same time ... as a teacher it makes you wonder if they think you are the devil.....

i see that this is an old thread, but i've got some pointers that i hope will help out...

i should say that my 4yo is my 3rd of 4 kids to go thru this, and they are all very, very attached to me... it's hard for me to run to the grocery store alone!

fist off, most preschools in our area offer classes that are either 2 or 3 days a week, 2 hrs per day. i highly recommed finding one if you can. this will help her get use to "school" being part of her routine.

a couple tips i got from the preschool teachers:
1- kiss, hug, kiss and go. the kids will cry for the first 5 minutes or so, and then they're fine. it's a mom leaving thing. our preschool has always promised that if a child is so distraught after 5 minutes, they will call us on our cells and have us come back.

2- talk to your kids and explain that you will be be to get them in terms that they can understand. for example, obviously my daughter has no concept of what 2 hours is. the teacher's recommendation is to use the length of this they know. for example, i told my daughter that i would be back "in 2 sesame streets". this gave her a better understanding of how long she would be there, and when i would return.

3- this is one that my older daughter's kindergarten teacher told us... give your daughter a kiss on her palm. explain that this "special mommy (or daddy) kiss" will be with her the whole time, and cannot be washed off. when she feels like she misses you, she can put her palm on her face, and feel your kiss. i especailly like this one!

4- cut out a little picture of you and let her keep it in her pocket while at school. if she starts to miss you, she can take it out.

i hope some of these things help. another thing i use to do to help my son with getting mentally prepared for school, was to make a calendar and mark off the days. on the days that he had preschool, i put a little school on the square. this was, each morning he went to the calendar and knew if he had to prepare himself for school, or any other special occasion. i only put events on it that affected him. this also helped him learn about calendars and days/ weeks/ months, etc.

anyway, i hope some of this helps... please keep me posted!

--ana

Also, be careful that you are not sending your child mixed messages by say your going to leave then when she cries you stay a bit longer. Once you address to her that you are going to leave you have to follow thru. I am happy to hear that you have been warning her about stranger danger but this could also come back and bite you depending on how much emphises or your anxiety is on the issue. Kids can pick up on your fears even if you think your playing it cool. They need to know that they are in a safe inviornment and are with people that will protect them and love them when you and your husband are not present. Most schools will have a meet the teacher day or you can visit the classroom at registration-take full advantage of this and stay as long as you like so your daughter knows the lay out of the classroom, where the bathroom is, where the office is, and introduce her to other personnel. Half of the anxiety is the unknown. Preperations for this can be simple and may just take the edge off of what could be a stressful time for her.

My son cried everyday at daycare for 3 months -- wasn't sure I could take it -- I cried everday on my way to work. Eventually, he stopped, but still cries for Dad sometimes -- but Dad lingers & linger & lingers.......

Now, he kisses me, hugs me, hangs up his back pack, hugs me & kisses me again -- I tell him I love him & I'll pick him up this afternoon as soon as I can. I think he established his own "self-comfort" routine & he's fine. If she hasn't developed the ability to comfort herself -- give her a hand -- for us it started out as a kiss & a hug and it evolved from there, with him being "in-charge". Sometimes attachment anxiety is about controlling a parent -- if a child knows you won't leave if they cry then they do -- I'm not implying anything here to any poster posting here about them & there child, but sometimes it is about control.