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High School Parents
My 15 yo will not do
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There is a reason for his behavior. It may be a problem at school.(public school is rife with bad teachers, apathetic administrators bullies and other kids with problems acting out and these affect your adolescent child's attitude) It may be the modeled behavior of his parents and other adults who have influened him--he's confused. If you can't relate to him, is there anyone you can think of who might be able to? What has he said about his situation? What have you done besides attempt to punish him into compliance? I don't believe kids are "just bad". And labeling him clearly isn't helping the situation. He needs a mentor, a direction, something that will motivate him to strive for a job, a higher education, a purpose. If you do care, it takes effort creativity, forgiveness and love. Stop berating this kid and show him how much you care.
Your post says a lot and a little at the same time - how long has this been going on? Always? Since elementary school? Or just lately?
And what does he say he wants to do in life? Does he have hobbies or activities outside of school? Is there anything he enjoys?
And what does he say he wants to do in life? Does he have hobbies or activities outside of school? Is there anything he enjoys?
989abzar, we don't know where you live, but in many school districts, attendance issues CAN cause a child to have to repeat a grade and fail classes if they aren't present and don't turn in required work.
(In fact, that seems to be what you're saying, if the school makes your son go an extra year or over the summer.) Unfortunately, some kids do have to "learn the hard way" but I know at 16, kids in some states can also just drop out. Then what? It's hard enough in this economy to get a job with a college degree, much less a high school diploma, but if you don't even have that, it's going to be very tough for your son to support himself...
(In fact, that seems to be what you're saying, if the school makes your son go an extra year or over the summer.) Unfortunately, some kids do have to "learn the hard way" but I know at 16, kids in some states can also just drop out. Then what? It's hard enough in this economy to get a job with a college degree, much less a high school diploma, but if you don't even have that, it's going to be very tough for your son to support himself...
Hi the other replies are good but don't fit my son he's lazy and learned last year attendance can't flunk you it can lower your grade to a d- but thats it.He is 16 now and learned from his mom work is for other people as he was growing up.I've decided he's on his own I'll help but I won't go to class for him or do his homework if he has to do summer school or an extra year of school maybe it will wake him up.
Did either his K-8 schools or his high school have a specific, immediate consequence for not doing homework or completing other assigned tasks? Too many schools have a fantasy that mere magical tokens like "blue dots" or "lo-scho" notices, or having a name on a meaningless list, or an effect of some kind on a grade months away that the child has learned to ignore, will have some kind of effect on a kid. To be useful, failure to do work must be met with a real consequence that is both specific and immediate.
It is extremely rare to find schools today that have anything in their "mission statement" (or, more importantly, in their daily practice) about instilling a work ethic.
It is extremely rare to find schools today that have anything in their "mission statement" (or, more importantly, in their daily practice) about instilling a work ethic.
Has your son always had problems like this, even in elementary school, or are his lying/behaviors/lack of motivation regarding academics more of a recent development? Has he ever been evaluated for possible learning or attention difficulties? Even very bright students can have them. (My son is one of those kids.)
I don't mean to upset you, but if his attitude has changed in the past couple of years, have his friends also changed? Could he be involved in using drugs or drinking? Sometimes kids, especially those with undiagnosed learning issues, start to "self-medicate" as a way to avoid dealing with the pressures they feel. If you could share more about your son's background, we can try to give you more specific suggestions.
I don't mean to upset you, but if his attitude has changed in the past couple of years, have his friends also changed? Could he be involved in using drugs or drinking? Sometimes kids, especially those with undiagnosed learning issues, start to "self-medicate" as a way to avoid dealing with the pressures they feel. If you could share more about your son's background, we can try to give you more specific suggestions.
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