Yes Joe, one of my concerns about my son is that, if a classmate bullies him or does something that bothers him, he couldn't act reasonable and gets exhausted and angry, so, it cause a problem for him and put him in trouble instead of the other kid that has caused that!! I think he needs some self esteem and problem solving skills. Thank you for recommend!! It is a good idea and i will do that.

Sounds like you are headed on the right track. Pursue the youth groups, attend a few different self defense classes so you can find an instructor that matches your child's personality before having him attend. Also, pick up a copy of your city's recreation calendar or activity offerings. There may be a few activities your child would be interested that would also give him exposure to building a strong peer group with supportive adult mentors.

Best,
Joe Bruzzese

Sounds like you are headed on the right track. Pursue the youth groups, attend a few different self defense classes so you can find an instructor that matches your child's personality before having him attend. Also, pick up a copy of your city's recreation calendar or activity offerings. There may be a few activities your child would be interested that would also give him exposure to building a strong peer group with supportive adult mentors.

Best,
Joe Bruzzese

Sounds like you are headed on the right track. Pursue the youth groups, attend a few different self defense classes so you can find an instructor that matches your child's personality before having him attend. Also, pick up a copy of your city's recreation calendar or activity offerings. There may be a few activities your child would be interested that would also give him exposure to building a strong peer group with supportive adult mentors.

Best,
Joe Bruzzese

Sorry Joe about being late to respond!! no, my son doesn't have any coach or mentor out of the school. I am thinking about the church, to get involved in their after school program, like music and self defend classes that i have heard they have for young children, i have no idea about other sources. If you can lead us it would be grateful and i appreciate.

Entry into the 6th grade [2008-09 school year] was dizzying. We moved from an urban inner city school [with a greatschools rating of 3] to a suburban school [with a greatschools rating of 9...and now 10]. so there was a HUGE jump in academic expectations, far beyond the normal jump from elementary to middle school. Also, my child [boy] encountered other issues. Namely constant harassment from a girl in his class. The first day of school she asked my child for his number, and when he indicated his disinterest in sharing his contact information with her, it was downhill from there. She would constantly provoke and harass him. She tormented him verbally and phsycially. I contacted the school on several occassions, but her mother failed to meet with us 3 out of the 4 scheduled meetings. it was a fiasco, too much to type on the msg board. But I don't know wat to do when the school is attempting to help, but the other child's parent is doing nothing.

And in addition to what i previously said, I WON A SPELLING BEE, AND NEW GRACE CENTER SAID THAT I REPRESENTED THE SCHOOL BADLY BECAUSE I WAS ME.

thanx Joe.

Incredible story! One that I hope to pass on to middle school parents everywhere. Thanks for sharing this.

Best,

Joe Bruzzese

I faced a verbally and physically abusive gym teacher. An unsupportive administration. All of my teachers hated me except for the Art teacher Mr. McCollin, the English literature teacher Ms Ferguson and the Technology teacher Ms.Benjamin. I hate New Grace Center in Brooklyn, NY. That is why I am switching schools.Since it is a private school, my mom was paying for expenses that were unknown. She was being billed for after school activities I wasn't even doing. I'm switching back to public school.

First of all, welcome mina..to the website and to the United States. I agree that a lot of schools have advocates for children. I am hoping that my older daughter's high school will do a better job at fighting for them than her middle school did.

bullying, change, organization, all of the forementioned. My child learned more this year about sex and drugs it left me shaking. He got into fist fights with kids who told him he performed sexual acts on his mother, my Lord above, whatever happened to your mother is ugly? Best advice, be there, every minute, every second, and get ready for this transition, which some of you may or not experience, first and foremost develop a good relationship with the school, be fair, play fair, and make it your business to know before he even walks through the door what his assignments are that night and what reports are due when, because they are so overwhelmed at the chaos, they cannnot even think, you have to think for them until they get into a rhythm, as for the bullying, document everything in a diary and no how to pick your fights, and don't act as your kid's attorney if your kid is wrong, but be ready to stand up for him if he's right. Most important thing i have done is what my dad did for us, we grew up dirt poor, never got a christmas gift, we only got one new thing our entire lives, and in order to get it, we had to memorize and be able to recite flawlessly IF, by Rudyard Kippling. I was so mad at my father as if being poor wasn't enough, having to work that hard at memorizing a poem i didn't even understand or get, annoyed me, but guess what, man knew what he was doing, thank you daddy, it was the best gift aside from faith you ever gave me. It served me well in life and because of that creed, i intuitively knew how to handle situations that would baffle others my age, i never knew it was because of that poem until later in life, when the real challenges came.

Best gift you can do for your child and yes, it's worth a monetary bribe to get them to memorize it.

bullying, change, organization, all of the forementioned. My child learned more this year about sex and drugs it left me shaking. He got into fist fights with kids who told him he performed sexual acts on his mother, my Lord above, whatever happened to your mother is ugly? Best advice, be there, every minute, every second, and get ready for this transition, which some of you may or not experience, first and foremost develop a good relationship with the school, be fair, play fair, and make it your business to know before he even walks through the door what his assignments are that night and what reports are due when, because they are so overwhelmed at the chaos, they cannnot even think, you have to think for them until they get into a rhythm, as for the bullying, document everything in a diary and no how to pick your fights, and don't act as your kid's attorney if your kid is wrong, but be ready to stand up for him if he's right. Most important thing i have done is what my dad did for us, we grew up dirt poor, never got a christmas gift, we only got one new thing our entire lives, and in order to get it, we had to memorize and be able to recite flawlessly IF, by Rudyard Kippling. I was so mad at my father as if being poor wasn't enough, having to work that hard at memorizing a poem i didn't even understand or get, annoyed me, but guess what, man knew what he was doing, thank you daddy, it was the best gift aside from faith you ever gave me. It served me well in life and because of that creed, i intuitively knew how to handle situations that would baffle others my age, i never knew it was because of that poem until later in life, when the real challenges came.

Best gift you can do for your child and yes, it's worth a monetary bribe to get them to memorize it.

Kudos to you for reaching out to the team of advocates at your child's school. When your child spends a significant portion of their waking hours in the same location it makes sense to build a relationship with the people will become his primary source of support during that time.

Does he have any additional coaches or mentors outside of the school day?

Hi, i am mother of 12 years old son, we came to the united States just one year ago, when my son was a student of fifth grade in the Heritage elementary school, the principals of school and his teacher, and specially the psychologist of the school were so much helpful to reduce our hard times and concerns regarding everything, i am going to appreciate them and say that we as a parent are not alone and school team could be very effective to lead our teens through hard times to find the right path and be safe and act logically, i hope we could make a good connection with new schools stuff as last year because i think my son and i need their assistance maybe more than other native family. By the way i am so glad have joined to you in the great schools website to get some worthy advices and be prepared for middle school as a parent.

Quite a jump up in responsibility from the elementary school days. The A and B concept sounds great in theory. Unfortunately, added to the challenge of navigating a new school campus, maintaining a group of friends and meeting teacher expectations, the rotating schedule can become overwhelming to kids. How did your daughter manage the schedule during the initial weeks of school?

Best,

Joe Bruzzese

Organizational skills were a big challenge for my daughter. She had "A" and "B" days (4 classes each day) with binder checks in each class to make sure she had all of her materials with her. Students are not allowed to bring backpacks into the classrooms so they really needed to learn to bring the right folder on the right day to the right class.

Even though it was difficult, I applaud the 7th grade team at our school for making sure the kids learn such a crucial skill.

Johnston, fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your view) the responsibility for building your child's T.E.A.M (the acronym I use for anyone who has the ability to Teach, Encourage, Advocate for, or Motivate your child) falls on you the parent. With the exception of smaller public and private schools, the majority of schools are far understaffed when it comes to the counselor to student ratio. I often encourage parents to connect with their child's TEAM early in the school year through a few short emails or voicemails that let everyone know how appreciated they are for the role they play in your child's life.

Joe Bruzzese

I agree Joe. Too many parents find themselves as the only kind of support their teenager has. My older daughter certainly didn't find any kind of support in her middle school. Maybe that will change next year. She is starting high school, and from what I understand this school is a lot better than the one she has been in. I certainly hope so, I don't really think it can be much worse, at least I'm praying that it's not.

Ever wonder why your middle schooler acts impulsively, with what seems to be a complete disregard for logic? Turns out that during adolescence the brain develops in different areas. Surprise, the area of the brain that connects to emotion and impulsivity is more active during the adolescent years compared to those regions that help us form rational, logic-based decisions. We are talking about this topic over in the violence prevention group. Join us!

Joe Bruzzese

Wow! Your ideas certainly seem aligned with what I share with middle school parents. Additionaly, I would offer the following ideas, middle schoolers face the daily task of rising to and meeting academic, social and emotional challenges. Building support through the development of a team of teachers, coaches and mentors can add an additional layer of support that kids can use as they work through these challenges. Often parents can take on the role of becoming the sole source of support for their child. Soliciting the support of additional team members gives a child additional opportunities to ask questions when or if she doesn't want to ask a parent for help.

Joe Bruzzese

I have found that we do better if we have homework time and study/reading time scheduled as a family. No TV, no hiding in bedrooms unless they prove their responsibility, etc. Homework is after school with a snack. Only after that is accomplished do they get to turn anything on! Chores are done together, with all electronics (unless it is a sweeper) OFF. Then a reward of other entertainment. Same with reading time. We do it together and shut off/out other distractions. We may play certain music for everyone during certain types of study. But children need a plan of action and help from us with organization. After a while, you will hear a child say, "I have to get this finished because I want to (fill in the blank)" Grades also play a factor in whether or not a child receives other rewards, but we know our children's capabilities and adjust accordingly. We do not demand straight A's but effort. As a result, our kids are on Honor Roll most, if not all, of the time. If your child is truly trying and struggling, I would speak with the teacher and demand some tutoring or pay for it myself. I think we unconsiously give our kids too much nowadays, and they think they "need" things or "deserve" things with little effort. If we find ourselves sliding into that frame of mind, we just re-adjust and attitudes improve around here.

Momstheword, Greatschools is a nationwide forum, and we aren't all familiar with what the Alpha test is. In any case, if you have a serious issue that the principal is refusing to investigate, and this is a public school, you should take it to the School District Superintendent, because they are the principal's supervisor. Copy the school board members, since they're the ones who oversee the Superintendent. You need to do it in writing, as legal proof. Send a letter, being as factual as possible, identifying who was involved and what you believe happened, and when, and then what took place (or in this case, didn't take place) after you contacted the principal. You might request that your child be given an opportunity to retake the test, in addition to them investigating whether other student's results might have been altered.
Greatschools also has an Educational Laws and Violations Group that you might want to join at community.greatschools.net/groups/77570

witsendmom, my son also has ADHD, and sites like www.help4adhd.org have helpful suggestions in dealing with the condition. Chris Ziegler Dendy is considered an expert in adolescent attentional issues. I've heard her speak on several occasions, and she echos what other experts say: kids like ours are capable of learning, but it takes them longer to develop "good habits." In the meantime, they need to keep seeing parents model good behaviors and keep a watchful eye and encouraging them, etc. It doesn't mean doing the work for your kids, but it may mean helping them with the "executive function" tasks (time management, organization, reminders) that other kids seem to grasp naturally.
For general support, I'd like to invite you to join and post in Greatschools Learning and Attention Difficulties Group at community.greatschools.net/groups/11554

I am having the same problem with my daughter who is in the 6th grade. I have to keep constantly tell her to go and study. My husband and I just found out that she was diagnosed with ADD. She tells me Mom, I know that I have to study, please stop telling me, you are driving me crazy. So, do you let them just be more independant and trust them more or do you still keep on top of them? Please help.

I thank you so very much for your comment. This is not the first time I was told to back up a little and let him find his way. His father basically said something similar. I just don't want my son to become a statistic. What I will do is create different opportunities to him and pray that something clicks. I will guide him as much as I can without interfering in his life pitfalls. I will be doing a lot of praying! Thank you.

Seekingmom, I have a highly gifted son who also happens to have ADHD, and truthfully, your son sounds like he could have attentional issues as well. You might want to read some of the resources I've listed in the "2e" (Twice Exceptional) Group at community.greatschools.net/groups/16042

It sounds like you and your son are in a pulling contest. I certainly understand that you want what is best for him. It also sounds like he wants a bit more freedom of choice. Perhaps stepping back a little bit and allowing him to experience consequences would be good for him. If his grades go down he will get the connection, he sounds like he is a very bright young boy. Middle school will tap his resources and responsibilities. If he does not want to acquire the good grades then he will need to endure the experiences that come with that choice. It's got to be one of the most difficult times for male and females at this stage of life. Wanting to have a parent to lean on while pushing away to Independence! I know what you are going through but hang in there and allow him some room to move and make choices.

Well, my son is in the 6th grade and he is starting to transform from my sweet obedient angel to this boy that wants to try me every opportunity he gets. My son is a very intelligent person. He's been on the honor roll 3 out of 4 semesters last year and this year he’s not been on it once, but he still gets As’ and Bs’. He scored high, but no cigar on the John Hopkins’s SCAT test.
My problem is that if I don't stay on top of this child, he will half do his homework, not study for tests and do the least as possible. His teachers and I stay in contact with each other when this occurs, but next year he will be switching classes and it's going to get even harder for me to stand on his neck. (Smile) The girls are starting to come into play and that another headache. I try to keep him focused by enrolling him in a church tutoring and chess class on Saturdays. In the fall he plays football which he loves, but when the grades fall I pull him out. He knows that. I let him talk to his friends on the computer; play in the park with his friends and talk to this girl on the phone until 9 p.m. I'm a single mom and sometimes I'm just worn out. The rule in my house is bad grades results in bad consequences. I stress the importance of education. The only two requirements I ask of them is that you do your best in school and your chores. If I’m not on top stuff doesn’t get done. Punishing helps for a minute, but it’s back to the same old after it wares off. I'm at a loss with him not doing what he is suppose to do in school unless I'm on his back. He has to learn how to be responsible on his own. He's getting older and once he hits High School and College he has to have this already instilled. Please give some suggestions.

johnston, I cannot thank you enough for your support. God has brought so many people into our lives to offer encouragement lately. We are at the end of the school year, and normally, this is the time the kids are buzzing about all the things they want us to do with them over the summer. Last summer, we promised them that we would replace the small soft-sided swimming pool with a big pool. The new 27' pool was installed today. I didn't want to buy the pool...I just couldn't justify the expense and didn't want to "float and cry" all summer while I thought of how much fun we could be having with the kids. But, we've always kept every promise to our grandchildren and this is no exception. My husband insists that no matter what happens, we will continue to be consistent with our love and honesty to the kids. So, the pool we promised them is up. Our neighbors and the pool installers joined us today in dedicating this pool to our grandchildren. The owners of the water company delivering water are praying for our grandchildren to be able to visit again and enjoy their new pool. The man who came to prep the ground is a neighbor that we barely knew. He and his wife experienced what we are going through when their son died unexpectedly and their daughter in law refused to allow them to have visitation with their grandson. He wouldn't even allow us to pay for the work he did to prep the ground. He said "I'm doing this for the kids". There are churches all around who have our family on their prayer chains. Even the owners of The Pool Barn where we purchased our pool are praying that our ex son-in-law will have a change of heart. Can you imagine what a fun pool party we'll have when we can all be together again?!! And, when they are older and we can share this story with them; they will have further proof of how really special they are. Thanks again for your support and I hope you have a wonderful summer with your family. Visit Hillsboro this summer...there is so much to do. We have Rocky Fork Lake - GREAT fishing, camping with family-themed weekend events at the State Park, and a perfect location for water sports and boating. We have a strong Amish community and the kids will enjoy learning about the Amish family culture. There is an Amish Bakery and General Store with handmade furniture and gifts nearby. You could visit Seip Mound, go horseback riding, golf, or even enjoy the ATV trails. We're about 1 hr. 15 min. from W. Carrollton. Take 73 East to Hillsboro and follow the signs. We moved here from Centerville 3 years ago and can't believe how laid back it is. There are so many fun things to do and places to visit, it's a perfect place to bring the kids. If you love nature and the outdoors, you'll have fun! Blessings, justgrandma

justgrandma, I do agree with you that a child can never have too much love. And you're right, they will come back to you some day. When they are of age, he can't do anything to stop them from visiting all they want. As long as they all know they have your love, then they will be ok. It is their father who will learn his mistake one day. God will be with your family and get all of you through this.

My DDD had problems with a particular 'ex-friend' who threatened to beat her up over a minor misunderstanding. It wasn't so bad that she wanted to stay home, but I was unnerving to know that someone had it out for her.

Can you believe that I faced the exact same things when I was in Middle School? I'm 53 years old now, so it was like 1968 when I was in Middle School! I think it's really important to know how you feel about yourself and not what others think. Do you have a good idea of what your "style" is, what kind of music you REALLY like, favorite books and authors...? That's what really sets you apart. I only have one friend from Middle School that I still talk to alot. Out of all the kids at my school, I have one really special girlfriend. Now we are grandmas, and our grandchildren are your age. Just be true to yourself. Most people are looking for friends that they can count on. If you are happy with yourself, others will want to be around you so that they can learn your "secret" and be confident too. This is a really important time in your life. Find friends who are FUN...not always putting others down and finding fault. Everyone wants to be liked (even the kids who are the hardest to get along with). I'm rooting for you! I hope that many years from now you have that one special friend (or a lot of friends) that mean as much to you as my friend from Middle School.

Well I am a middle schooler now and I've faced snobby girls pretty much. Mostly just facing gossip and rumors and talking behind your back and that kind of thing.

We've decided to honor our ex son-in-law's desire to eliminate all contact with our side of the family. They have not only been cut off from their mother and us, but also the extended family which includes aunts, uncles, cousins, other grandparents, great-grandparents, and one great-great grandparent. We weren't even able to see our 17 year old grandson and give him a birthday gift in March. It was a heart wrenching decision not to go to court, but we feel that by allowing our ex son-in-law to have his way we won't be creating any more distress for our grandchildren. This is, after all, what he has been waiting for 20 years to accomplish. All the children have now are happy memories of time spent with us. We are sure that they will someday come back into our lives. We love them dearly and they know it. Until March, they spent nearly every week end with us and most of the summer...by choice. They called, and we went to pick them up (including their step-sister, who we also became very attached to). Without our faith, I don't know how we would get through this. Thank you for your kindness and compassion. Your children are certainly blessed to have parents like you. I don't think children can ever have too much love! We have another grandson in WC Elementary school, so we still get to go to ballgames and school programs. For that, we are most grateful.

justgrandma, there is something you can do. Just because your daughter lost her parental rights, doesn't mean that you lost your right to be their grandmother. Take him to court to see your grandchildren. You have rights as their grandparents. Unless he can prove you are unfit to be around them, I don't think it's legal for him to keep all contact from you. I hope this helps. My prayers are with you.

I love the post from the concerned parents who are concerned about the influence schoolmates will have on their children. Don't forget...the street runs both ways. Before removing your children from public schools, please remember that many of the issues teens face come with the territory. I sent one of my children to a private school in Jr. High. She still met bullies, snobs, kids with issues, etc. I've found that the school is made up of more than the kids. Your children may have teachers, bus drivers, coaches, and even families of their friends who pray for them and set standards of principled, disciplined, Christian lives. We are the "light" of the world. Your children do have influence among their peers and the world needs to see your family succeed even where others may not share your values or views. Life isn't easy and our kids will face challenges we can't imagine. Hang in there and continue to support your children when they encounter daily challenges at school. AND, since you know how prayer and faith work, expect the miracle to come to you and your children. We can bloom anywhere! And your children have the benefit of a home with values and caring parents. That makes them winners! Blessings!

My granddaughter has been through a lot this year. This is a new school for her. Her father remarried and she has been adjusting to a new family. Her mother (my daughter) lost all parental rights to her children this year and my ex son-in-law has decided that none of our family can have visitation with our grandchildren now that he has sole custody. This is such a critical time in a young girl's life. My grandchildren were with us every weekend and all summer all of their lives until April of this year. Our granddaughter was very close to us and she has been trying to contact us by various means. It is heartbreaking to see her go through such distress and try to reach us just to say that she loves us and misses us. Our lives are devastated by the loss of contact with our grandchildren. There is nothing that we can do now, but I hope that other parents will take note and be aware that children need all the love they can get. Vindictive and bitter parents create so much stress for their children by using control tactics with former spouses and other family members. I cannot imagine the stress of raising children today, but I extend my heartfelt plea to parents to take note and hopefully, seek to use wise judgement regarding decisions that affect your kids, but also show compassion to them and consider the impact that divorce and the loss of valuable relationships mean to children. Our grandchildren have lost so much and I'm sure that this makes it even more difficult for them in school. God bless all parents who care enough to support their children in all areas of their lives. Our prayers are with you.

My 13 year old daughter has gone through so much this 2nd year of middle school. She "had" a huge group of about 15 girl friends that decided 2nd semester that she was not part of their group anymore and are consistently mean to her during school hours. She has always been the type of child to stick up for others being bullied or mistreated and is very outspoken. She has what I call 80's punk, the love for dressing different and likes to stand out. I am sure she is not liked due to some of these differences. I see her struggling to find her way in other groups, some with children that don't care about grades and doing the right thing and is scares me. She has a lot of trouble with getting assignments in on time and her grades are suffering in some subjects. She is off the charts with school testing so we know it is not a question of ability.

I just found this site today and I can't wait to check everything out and hopefully find some help with how to best cope with this and help my child. Thanks!

The main challenges for my middle school child is there is , no other way to put it than to say : the diverse group of people. What I mean is this, we are raising her with Christian values, but it seems that instead of her leading them, they are leading her. We have tried everything on top of praying, but she does not seem to recognize the change that we see in her that is not for the better. We are considering place her and our 1st grader in private school. We think that once she is surrounded by the Word, and perhaps children whose parents are trying to instill that same values, this will bring the change that must take place. Our daughter is typical girl in most ways. She still has not come into the sense of who she is, and because of this, she allows people to influence her, and she wants to fit in so badly with the "popular" girls and often gets her feelings hurt from their rejection. She is not like them and the thing is they see it, but she does not. We raised her to be "different", after all the word says we are a peculiar people.

We can relate to the adjustment in middle school. Also, the load was too much for the kids in honors towards the end of the semester so the teacher gave a different assignment to the kids. It seems that the loads are way too high for some kids but not high enough for others. There must be a better way to assign homework that challenges kids but does not overwhelm them. A lot of these kids are high performers but are turned off of education due to the level of homework assigned to them throughout the school year. My daughter, who has always loved learning now says that she hates school and homework. There is an balance issue that needs to be addressed and it's not always the kids that are doing the best that they can to keep up with huge homework demands. Routine is great and disapline is fine but their must be BALANCE!
MoonOne

This was my youngest child...the whole adapting to the middle school environment was a challenge, although the middle school she attended was the same as the elementary she attended. The main issue was adjusting to a different teacher for every subject and adapting to their different personalities. There was a definite adjustment needed in time management category as far as homework was concern. Right now we have about 7 days left in the school year and the science teacher gave them this major project that counts 250 pts towards their grade. It was a wake up call to no more easy relaxing days until the end of the school year.

The point is that in New York State a Regents course taken in middle school becomes part of the student's high school transcript and is counted in their gpa upon graduation, which could affect them wherever they decide to go.

Ilee814, isn't the Regents Exam a requirement for all kids on a "college track" in NY to pass at some point before they graduate from H.S.? It doesn't make much difference to colleges when it's passed, so long as it's passed, because otherwise the student doesn't get a H.S. diploma. (Truthfully, if a child goes to an out-of-NY university, they aren't as knowledgeable about which states even have individual test requirements. My state has no exit exam.)

In New York State an advanced class in middle school that involves taking a Regent's exam will be on your high school record.

MaryHarlin, it sounds like your son might have been nervous about the adjustment to middle school, but now that he's got a "solid" first year under his belt, with all A's, I think you could try to approach him about the advanced classes again. Is he a perfectionist, afraid of getting anything less than an "A?" You might have to remind him that you'll love him no matter what grade he gets, but you just want him to try to the best of his abilities. It seems like he's a very capable student, but maybe he's afraid of competing with the top students, for fear of not being able to keep up. You might even tell him in the long run, whatever he does in Middle School grade-wise won't matter....Colleges don't look or care about it, they worry about high school...

I have a question to ask on behave of my son.. At Stilwell they offer a advanced class and I tryed to get my son to take it this year but, he didn't want to.. He makes A's in is classes now! Should I keep trying? Thank you!

This was my sons first year and he had a little trouble at first with his locker and getting to each of his classes on time.. Also being separated from some of his friends.

I read your post... and the sad truth of it all is that RACISM ... is very much alive ,,, not just in Alabama... but everywhere. My daughter attends a school that is 95% black. And I can honestly say ,,, I'm not proud of it but I am racist to a point. But not because of the reasons you would think. It has nothing to do with the color of their skin per say ... but more because of the way they act and present themselves. I have plenty of friends that a black .. and I hang out with them on a lot of occasions. Their families and mine have had plenty of picnics and family get togethers . And they are by far some of the most decent people I have ever met. And then I have met the ones .... like what my daughter deals with on a daily basis that are constantly looking for a reason to fight ... that intimidate just because they can.. makes them feel like they are in control. It's pretty bad when she comes home and talks about how racists the students, as well as the staff a towards the caucasions and the hispanics. I guess what I am trying to say is that racism is still very much alive everywhere. And it isn't just towards the blacks , or hispanics.. it's towards all races... and it is a shame... because wrongs out weigh the rights in it and nobody wins. I can only pray that one day .. all the hate and animosity in the world will disappear.. and we can live with peace amongst us. And those are great lessons you are teaching... I myself have always been told " Don't judge a book by it's cover", and I have lived by those words .. and trying to teach my children to do the same. That's all we can do.

MoonOne, you might like to join Greatschools Gifted Group at community.greatschools.net/groups/11537 to "compare notes" with other parents!

Yes, she is gifted. But I have intentionally not placed her into gifted programs. She choose this avenue and is very persistant indeed. I don't think she is a perfectionist but at almost 13 yrs. it's a bit subjective to say for certain. She is quite artistic though. Yes, I too believe strongly that the four hours is too excessive. I do appreciate your input and any others as well. Thank you!

MoonOne, is your daughter gifted, or could she be struggling to keep up with other kids, who find the homework less burdensome? Is she a perfectionist? I have a neighbor whose daughter and son are equally bright, but the daughter would take twice as long to accomplish things because they had to be "exactly right." If your daughter doesn't want to leave the school, no matter what the reason, then it does certainly show a great deal of perseverance, and that's admirable on its own. So long as she's not sick of it, I agree that I'd let her remain, inspite of my personal feelings that her homework load is excessive.

While I agree that four hours of homework is excessive, if your daughter is committed to staying in that school and can feel that she is successful there, I would support her efforts despite my own misgivings.

Mostly homework issues. The average evening consists of four hours study for the homework! The admitting counsulor did explain that the school teachers would at times expect four hours. I thought that the rule of thumb for homework was ten minutes per grade level including kindergarten, thus eighty minutes for seventh graders not two hundred and forty minutes! My daughter won't opt to leave the school as she explains she would be "a failure" and I don't agree. But this school is notorias for being rigorous academic school, hardest in Colorado and prides itself for this fact. They say that the kids are well prepared for high school and college this way and most of the students are gifted attending who need the challenges to stay interested in their studies. Help me out here I'm not convinced and thanks for any input.

Yes, my son does have a learning disability, (ADD)but is very creative. His imagination is beyond imaginable. He has the potential for greatness, but thinks only about girls this day and time. I will join the site that was given. Thank you all for your advice. For what I have been told from my brother and others that boys are curious at this time. I will talk with my son again about the STD's. I gave him a talk a couple of years ago when he thought everything about sex was disgusting. I guess things have changed since then. Again, thank you.

If you truly have concerns, have your son tested. It sounds to me like he may just be at that age. My daughters are 13 and 14. The 14 year old still has an interest in graduating and has a plan for her future. She doesn't, however, see passed today and the boys around her. It is aggravating, but I stick with it. I remind her what her own plans are, which is becoming a vet, and exactly what she needs to do to accomplish that goal. She knows that her grades have to stay up so she can get a scholarship. That's how she's going to college. I've also sat down and discussed starting to study for her ACT and SATs next year, freshman year. This will give her plenty of opportunities to better her scores if she choses to do so. It also gives her a break from all the constant testing that goes on in middle school. Whether your son has a learning disability or not, stick with it. He may be having trouble, or the trouble may just be trying to keep his mind off of girls. I've been told high school years are easier--here's hoping.

Sweetred:

I think in large part, your son is at the age where this is totally normal. He's 14, which most likely means he's either about to enter his freshman year next year or is just about to leave it. Either way, this is about the time frame where many boys really start thinking about nothing else but girls.

I'd suggest trying to reel your son in with understanding and open, honest communication about both of your feelings, school and the future, and education about sexual-safety to prevent STD's and pregnancy (in case of an encounter, even though you might not support it). It's also the age at which when a parent pushes or pulls in one direction the child goes the opposite, so try not to push or pull.

Express your concerns about graduation (which will come sooner than HE thinks), and agree on some incentives that might help him get more focused on school work too.

There needs to be a balance between school life and other things like friends (and girlfriends), and he needs to remember that too.

I wish you the best!

sweetred35, I'm concerned about your statement that your son is struggling in school, and his interest is everywhere else. Has he ever been evaluated for a possible learning disability or attentional issue? It sounds like he's going to be graduating soon, but if he's having trouble now, high school may be an even bigger challenge, both academically and with distractions like girls. I would like to invite you to join Greatschools Learning and Attention Difficulties Group at community.greatschools.net/groups/11554, and tell us a bit more about his difficulties...We understand what you're going through.

I agree with you. I have a son who is in the 8th grade and hangs around the girls a lot. His interest is in girls at his age. My only suggestion to you is to keep her in any positive after school activities or in the house after school. They seem to find a lot of free time in the afternoons. My son and I are constantly have the (s) talk. I remind him that his father remained a virgin until he was 23 years of age (marriage) because his mother told him that he was not ready yet. He BELIEVED her. Keep talking, I am a firm believer that something being said takes a hold of them. Hope this is helpful.

My son is 14 years of age and is struggling in school. His interest is everywhere, but school. He is unhappy with his teachers and withdrawls from family activities unless it involves food. For some reason he has always love food. I've noticed lately that he loves to hang out with girls and love the attention that he looks like Chris Brown. I am concerned because I have always carried my boys to church on Sundays and bible class on Wednesday. I am wondering where I went wrong because he has no interest in school and is now interested in girls. Last night, I caught him looking at porn. I was so surprised because he had borrowed an outdated vcr and porn movies from a friend. I didn't even think teenagers knew what a vcr was. Anyway, I a disappointed in him, but does understand that he is curious at this age. As I was, but is going about it the wrong way. Any suggestions on how I can get his interest on school and not girls?

in reply to patrickmblair.. i thank your comment.. i had raised this huge concern to the board of education since last year when he had just statrted 5th grade.. they promised me he would learn and that they will help him with it.. so far noTHING HAS BEEN DONE. my son cant understand my handwriting at all.. and most of his friends dont know how to do cursive writing anymore. its pathetic.. i live in teaneck nj, supposed to be one of the best school disctricts.. thanks

I dont know what school goes to but they have failed you!! I was a teacher for ten yrs. I just cant see your son going this many years to school no one notice he couldnt write in cursive. That is a shame on the school and the teachers. I'm sorry for this to happen to you but may be you get help with a tutor or some after school program. My best wishes for you and your son.

I have a daughter that is in 8 th grade. Her challenge has been this year is what classes to take next year in high school. I tried to help her decide and thought that i was not the right person to help, so I got my oldest daught to help her. That was the best bonding experience for them. My oldest is graduating this may
yah!!! I just hope my youngest daughter will have fun and enjoy high school!

5th grade has been a big adjustment ofr my 5th grader.. lots more hw.. huge projects.. less communication between teachers and parents.He also lacks the ability to write his thoughts in a paper.. he had that to some degree in elementary school.. but now is worse.. i have also encountered the problem that he was never taught cursive writing in elementary school and now thre is a great possibility he willnever learn it. the board of ed simply told me,,,"thy did not realized it was not being taught" ..so for now i am stuck w a 5th grader who olny prints.!

Thank you all for your comments. I greatly appreciate your input and encouragement. The boys know that they can talk to me about anything at any time. They know that my wife and I are here for them even when their own mother may not be.

They're both smart boys... I try to do what's right as a parent... and a Christian... They know and understand more than the people they live with give them credit for... and one day, they will make it known.

Thanks again for all the support!

I agree with all the comments. There doesn't sound like there's anything more you can do that you aren't already trying. Let your boys know that they can come to you any time with anything at all. The loving home you provide for them when they are there will be noticed by them both. Even if they don't realize it now, they will later. Just love them and keep doing what you're doing. It sounds like a frustrating ordeal, and I wish luck. My prayers will be with you and your family.

Well, I wish you luck. Sounds like you are very caring. Just continue to do what you can. And he will know he is loved. He may on his own decide he wants to be with you....

Thanks for the response. I'm in Georgia... they have been trying to pass that law here, but to no avail. I have tried getting custody, too, but since I don't have a job, it's futile. I have a special needs daughter and a very sick wife, so although the boys get taken care of better here, I cannot get legal custody of them unless their mother signs paperwork stating that she consents... and even then, the judge still has to approve it.

I don't know what state you live in, but in CA is is ILLEGAL to smoke in the car with a child. You need a lawyer to fight for custody. Other than that, seems you just need to make life at your house the consistant, stable, loving environment he needs and honestly, will appreciate...even if he doesn't show it.
-Mom of 2 and a family therapist

I have a 7th grader whose grades have dropped. He used to make straight As, but this year he seems to be disinterested in school, grades, and anything I have to say about them. He lives with his mother, and she doesn't make sure he's getting his work finished on time and turned in. Now, I know that I cannot change what goes on at his mother's house (which is ALWAYS mass-chaos), but I also cannot pressure him to come and live with me, either. He lives with his grandmother, mother, older sister, younger brother (my son, also), and sometimes his sister's boyfriend stays. They're all bad influences on him and his brother. They cuss, yell and fight all the time. They smoke in the house and in the car with my boys (who BOTH have allergies and asthma problems). They do not have a structure at their house, eating dinner anywhere from 6:30 pm to 10:00 pm, usually between 9-10. Their bedtimes are 10 (for the 7 year old) and 11 (for the 13 year old), which I think are WAY too late for them. Their mother won't listen to any of my concerns or recommendations about their living arrangement, home environment, or daily habits (betime, dinner time, work spaces, etc). She thinks I'm telling her that she's a fool (I'll keep comments to myself here).

My point is that I can talk until I'm blue in the face to my middle-schooler, but the bottom line is, his mother is the "final decider" about his schooling, influencing him in a negative way.

Any suggestions about this?

My son's first class is at 7:05 in the morning. He has three high school credit classes and he is burdened with tons of homework. He has no weekend free time and he has no time for extra-curricular activities. But, he wants to stay at this school because it is in the top 5 in our State. There is a lot of prestige that goes along with being a student at this school and he has become caught up in it. His grade are not the best, but he wants to hang in there. Sometimes I wish i could make it easier for him, but i know that it is a great learning experience for him. I will continue to support him as long as he wants to stay there. But, I tell him that he has to do what is required to stay there.

My older daughter has the same problems at school. It is racism..directed mostly at her. Here in Alabama, there's a lot of racism, and she's never understood it. We've always taught her to look at who a person is, not what they look like. So she is allowed to have black and hispanic friends and date black and hispanic boys. For this she is an outcast, and not just from current teachers. One her teachers from last year rides her constantly, even giving her detention for no reason. Of course when I tried to reach the principal, I couldn't get hold of her. This year it's her math teacher. No matter what she does it's not right. She's picked on constantly. They've made it clear this is the reason she is singled out, and it hurts her. This is also affecting her grades. Especially in math. She's always loved math, but hates this class. As a result, she's barely passing it. I wish I could get someone to do something about this. It's to the point I'm gonna go to the class with a hidden recorder. I don't care whether I'm supposed to or not. I'll go to the new stations if that's what I have to do to get this to stop.

My daughter 's biggest challenge is getting up and getting to school. Not from lack of sleep but because she hates to go to school. Everyday , is one big obstacle that she has to get through. I hear daily about how chaotic her day is . How stressful it is. The sad part is that it has been going on for three years now. When she first started attending the school ... and she came to me with it I just figured it was just going to take her time to adjust to the whole new environment that she was in that everything was going to be okay.When she started 7 th grade ... it got a lil ' easier for her but not completely . I would still hear every now and again about certain situations that she was having trouble dealing with . Mainly , just the intimidation factor with her peers, all the fighting that was going on at school with her classmates ... and all the rudeness, and racial remarks not so much towards her but between others.My daughter has always struggled with math... and this particular year she was assigned to a class with a teacher ... that really was intimidating... and on a daily basis was constantly making remarks to the class that was making her feel less than adequate.Which in return made her feel like when she didn't understand something that she could not approach this teacher for help. Which was really disturbing to me. I did what any parent would do I went to the teacher and stated my concern. Nothing was completely resolved. It got a lil more bearable for her.. at least I thought. She got to the point where she brought her grades up... enough to pass. But just barely. Now , here it is she is almost through her last year of middle school... and the other night ... she came to me .. it started out as a normal conversation about her grades ... and my inquiring about any missing assignments that she might have .. being that she had missed quite a few days this quarter... for various reasons.. mainly complaining of not feeling good ... stomach hurting... ect... She started crying hysterically,,, and had a total breakdown... Hearing everything that was coming out of her mouth ,,, all her feelings... how unhappy she was at this school... Everything she had to deal with on a daily basis from the other students up there ... was a eye opener to me ... made me really sit back and take notice. That all this time... I ignored .. that fact that her attending this school ..was slowly destroying her. That it in fact was a affecting her health not only physically, but most of all mentally. Last I remembered school was suppose to be a place to learn... suppose to encourage you... one of the keys to your future. Not to intimidate you, keep you from learning...to be so chaotic and disruptive... Bottom line her biggest challenge was to try to succeed in a school where she was feeling threatened everyday in some way or another by her peers... trying to learn in an environment where the authority figures and teachers alike would knowlling witness things being said or done and decide to turn a blind eye as oppose to do what was right to correct the situation... Or only acknowledging the ones that they seen fit to punish.

Our son is in a deep fog at school on a daily basis. He struggles daily and our family prays that we will find alternative schooling and help for him. Our concern is that he has been pushed through the school system since the grade of about fourth grade! We've talked to a few of his teachers and recently will be talking with his math teacher. Our son is going to be tested for ADD and ADHD, we hope to discover whats going on with him and hopefully get his education and emotional stability in line! We do want to thank a very special teacher Mrs. Wolboldt there at Malabar Middle School! She is wonderful teacher and has been concerned about our son for a number of years. She has always expressed her concerns to us. Without her thoughts and expressions we may have never known of some of our childs problems and his needs. So again Mrs. Wolboldt we thank you! Johns Family

My son has had too move a lot lately and it breaks my heart. I'm sure I'm not alone with the economy out there. Hes in 8th grade and started in another school this fall and will end the school year in a current new school. High School is around the corner. Hes feeling left out and disliked and differernt. Please moms and dads out there, just remind your your presious ones out their to simply be kind to one and other. It makes all the difference in someones life that day, more than they can possibly understand.

Thanks for the link. My 8th grader doesn't always ask for help, though both her sister and I have offered. She's too emembarrassedot to be able to do it on her own. Maybe now she'll seek help, even if it's from a website.

Not sure if it's appropriate to post links here but I read a lot of replies for this and quite a few parents face problems with their child's middle school math. As some rightly said, middle school math is very crucial and it lays the foundation for higher level math courses. Here is a good article on middle school math and how parents can help their middle school students:-

blogs.clickandclimb.com/blogs/bid/6502/Middle-school-math-help-Are-you-a-Math-Problem-Solver-for-Your-Child

My twelve year old son has suffered from migraines, stomach pain, and nausea/vomiting since age two. Had gone to Boston Children's Hospital for 10 years with no results after many tests. He is now seeing a child neurologist at Hasbro Children's Hospital for about a year and a half. They have done much more extensive testing and may be getting close to a diagnosis, however the medications that they had put him on to try and get rid of the migraines (he has had them every day for years) was making him so very tired. So it was all he could do to get through the day. Even falling asleep some days. It was like he was in a fog all the time. This really started to affect his grades. It was a struggle for a while but we have weaned him off the meds and he is starting to do better now.

I know exactly what you mean. My 14 year old is the same way. What her friends say is what matters, even when she knows they're wrong. It's frustrating I know. We just keep praying she'll come around and see that they don't have her best interests at heart, and could care less about her future. Every now and then we see a glimmer of hope before the wall comes back up, so here's hoping it's just a phase and she'll see through them as she matures.

Peer pressure. My daughter is 13 and in the 8th grade and she is really having a hard time with peer pressure. It seems like she will give in to anything and she believes everything her so called friends say to her and make it seem like her father and I are liars and doesn't think we know what we are talking about. She has low self esteem and a funky attitude and sometimes we really don't know what to do.

everything... he is not focused and i cannot seem to get him there. i've talked and talked. i dont know what to do. frustrated

The drama at the school my daughter goes to I think takes a toll on her. But when she gets home it's quiet and she can relax her mind from the drama.One day at a time.

Just a quick update to my earlier post. My daughter is no longer going with the boy constantly pressuring her. She finally got tired of his foul mouth and his dirty mind. Here's to good girls with common sense. :D

To MamaJohn: We live in Astoria, Queens and my daughter is in the 6th grade and she is having difficutly also in math. They are just learning percentages and decimals now. Every Wed. and Thurs. my daughters teacher comes in early to help the kids who are struggling in math. Maybe if you talk to the principal, they can help your daughter. Is she in a public school or private school.

my daughter is 13 and in 8th grade...she is having difficulty in math. percentages, decimals...etc
right now she is in a Maspeth NY school, which is overcrowded. I have spoke with her teacher and she has told me there is only such amount of time she can sit and explain to my daughter.
I am happy we are going to be in Mahanoy Middle School in Jan where there are less children and more explaining going on.

We are in the process of changing schools mid-year. While my 6th grader holds her own, she is very disappointed with our neighborhood school, which is right near our Army Post. Being Military, we do move more often so she said she would move and if they don't allow that... then she wants to home school. She is sick of no discipline, foul language, and kids who don't care about their education. She says that she has seen more than one teacher cry. How sad!

Cloning sounds good to me..for me and my daughters..lol. One is in a magnet school, 7th grade, and first week of school she gets a science project that lasts the semester. On top of that she's had several small projects from the same class. It's a wonder she can keep track of them all.

My older daughter is in the 8th grade regular school and is finally getting homework, though she's doing the same stuff her little sister is doing in the magnet school and she feels stupid most of the time. Her pressure isn't really from the schoolwork though. She's 14 and is getting a lot of pressure, especially from boys. Oh yes...the S word. I found a letter she left laying out (and yes I read it). She says how her current boyfriend talks about it all the time. So far she's held out, but I'm afraid of how much this boy is pressuring her. We've had the sex talk, and all that entails; I just hope she can resist his come ons (most of the boys here seem to only have sex on their minds...it sure isn't schoolwork).

Oh Goodness SO much! She is in the same school, but now the MS section. Her homework has gone from an hour to as many as 6 hours a night. She's not getting enough sleep as a result. She is moody. She lies...daily. She has no remorse. Her grades have gone down. She now needs tutors and therapists. I don't have the money for this. The school does not provide these things and the tuition is unbelievable. Afterschool time doing homework with both kids and dinner prep...I want to sceam. I do, in fact sometimes. I need to be cloned.

To witsendmom and honeybeesmom:

Middle school is one of the hardest times in a child's life. They go from a small, nuturing elementary school to a school with hundreds more kids. It can be overwhelming and disheartening at times for our kids, and frustrating and heartbreaking for us parents. My son is in 7th grade, his second year in middle school, so I know what you're going through. My daughter is now a senior in high school.

I would like to invite both of you to join the Attention and Learning Difficulties group here at GreatSchools. There are many parents who have kids with Dyslexia and ADD/ADHD. You can get a lot of helpful information on how to go about getting your children tested for learning disabilities (LD's).

community.greatschools.net/groups/11554

In the meantime, please talk to your daughters' teachers and counselors about their homework and classwork. They may be able to work with you and your daughters about lessening the homework and suggestions for tutoring.

Good luck, and please let us know your daughters' progress.

She has never been interested in any sports. We have tried different ones many times. She isn't the athletic type. She would get frustrated with it because she couldn't be as good as the others. I didn't want her self esteem to be any worse than it was so we don't push it. She isn't autistic or have Asperger's Syndrome. She has social issues due to her low self esteem which has been brought on by her feeling not as smart as everyone else. When we realized this the school counciler had her come in every morning before school to just talk and checked in on her all day. That helped we had many conferences and communicated with each other on her progress. We had also come up with her social goals. One being more of a risk taker and try new things, so she can make more conections with other kids her age. We live in a neighborhood with a very little kid count, which doesn't help her situation. We have had her in craft and art classes and such last year. We will be doing the same this year. I'm worried though with her homework load how will she be able to have the time to do extra curricular activities and hang out with her friends as well. Not to mention she needs time to study and sometimes that can take a long time as well. We help her with studing to keep her focused and help her not feel overwhelemed. We give her 15 min. breaks during study time and sometimes it can take her a few hours to fully study for her math test. A lot of times it's us having to help her just understand the prosses. We've decided to just keep it to one and a half hours max. of study time. She gets too tired and looses what little she has retained if we go longer. Even with her studying she has failed tests. She will come home crying and that breaks my heart. We have conferences this coming week and I will be bringing these concerns up again and see if we can come to some solution. I will take your advice and see if there are programs or tutors through the school. Her counciler has recomended we talk of testing her for Dyslexia, so I will be getting more info next week. This is year has started with many new challenges for us, but I wont give up and I will be doing all I can to help her. I'm so glad there are places on the web like this to use as a resource. It's also nice to read others encouragement and the comfort of knowing that we are not the only ones going through these struggles is priceless. Thank you for your advice. I'm open to as much as I can get at this point.

My daughter is going to a new school this year. which is much harder than her old school was. She is in the 6th grade and is struggling. She gets tons of homework, projects and tests. She even told me one time, she said Mom, I have no life anymore, all I do is study and do projects. We don't go anywhere on the weekends, because she has so much work to do. She is failing tests and seems not to concentrate. Its not like she in not studying, because I go over it with her and she seems to know it, but when she takes the test, I don't know what happens. We don't know if the work is just to overwhelming for her or if there is another problems. My husband and I are going to test her for inattentive ADD.

honeybeesmom:
By chance, is your daughter on the autistic spectrum, or have Asperger's Syndrome. I only ask because you say your daughter has achieved some of her social goals. I don't mean to be presumptive, though.

Have you considered tutoring for your daughter, either private or through the school? At my son's middle school, they offer Saturday classes for English and Math for those students who are struggling. I know it's hard to schedule tutoring into an already busy schedule, especially when you work full-time. You should talk to her counselor about getting tutoring for her, either provided by the school or paid for by the school. Many schools use either Sylvan or Kumon for tutoring services. Also, check if her school offers either before school or after school tutoring with the teachers.

Also, I would suggest going back and talking to her teachers again about the amount of homework they are assigning. You might want to tell them that if she's struggling with the classwork, more of the same at home isn't helping her. Maybe the unfinished classwork can be her homework.

At this stage in your daughter's life, socialization is very important in middle school. Does your daughter enjoy any kind of sport? Sports are a good way to make friends, as well.

Well, My daughter is in 6th grade this year and has achieved some of the social goals of last year and is continuing them this year. She did well in academics last year, but is struggling in English and Math this year. I've talked to her teachers and they say she just isn't able to finish the work in school and has had to come in at recess everyday. She is also, being given her unfinished work to take home to do along with her regular homework. Needless to say, she doesn't have much free time and I'm concerned because she isn't able to socialize after school with her friends like last year. Her self esteem is starting suffer as well. I've brought all these conserns to her teachers and they all tell me the same. To keep having her finish what she isn't able to do in class so she can keep up. One did tell me I could get in contact with the school counciler if I thought she may have a learning disablilty. So, I have and am waiting for a reply. Until then I have just been giving her as much help as I can, which isn't much because sometimes I don't know how to help her. I also, work full time and into the late evening. I'm not able to be there to keep her motivated and a lot of times I come home and homework hasn't been done and it's bedtime. These are our challenges for this year.

My son switched from a very nurturing 220 student school to a 2200 student school. I feel like he really didn't get the chance to transition from 6th grade to 7th grade properly. He has a tremendous amount of work and i am just hoping he is mature enough to handle it all.

If I remember correctly, middle school was the worst as far as bullying goes. It went far beyond kids being left out from play groups and became much more personal and hurtful. On top of that middle school is just an awkward time for kids, puberty starts to kick in, they're becoming teenagers, school becomes more challenging.

being bullied everyday because of her height.and some of her teachers are just horriable,she told me a teacher called this boy fatty when she ask him to come to the board. i reported it but they do nothing about it.

Bullying and being teased at school unmercifully by students. The school thinks that all schools have bullies. the school allows this to continue nothing happens to the kids bullying others. The child that is in special classes gets teases and talked terribly to aggravating these kids and nothing is done about it at the school. The child with learning difficulties has to put up with it because teachers turn a blind eye it. the p

My son just started mid. school and we have found that some of the teachers redicule the students out loud in front of the other students. I think kindness goes a long way. When the teachers are showing disrespect to students, that causes teasing outside of class.

some of the challanges my 12 year old has faced is a new school, harder work and alot of bullys and name calling cause she is new at this school. sometimes she comes home crying because its so hard to adjust. what can i do to help with this situation.

My daughter biggest challenge was she started a whole new school and plus it was a public school a whole new system and changing class rooms, at her old school she attended was a christian based school and they stayed in 1 classroom same teacher for 5 years and . but she has adjusted really well and her twin cousins are there too {same grade } we are very proud of her!

My son is in the 8th grade this year. Our biggest challenge is making sure that he reaches high honors this year. He wants to attend a really good and expensive boarding school and we can not afford to send him so our hopes is that his grades will be good enough to the point that the school will offer a scholarship.

Trying to study and keep up with the after school sports and other activities are showing to be a small challenge. Let's hope he keeps up the good work.

My son also started 7th grade (middle school) this year. He attends a private school that has K-12 so he is pretty much with the same kids. However, the middle/high school is in a different building than the elementary school.

One of the challenges we have faced so far this year is the increased number of classes and homework. He has 8 classes and is on an outside swim team. Practice is 3x per week. Trying to get his homework done after school before practice has been a challenge. Practice is from 6-8:30 pm. He really likes being on the swim team but I can see it has been somewhat stressful for him to try to get it all done and study for tests. I guess it is also stressful for me too.

This is his second year on the team and I don't know how other parents can coordinate lots of afterschool activities, get all the homework done and try to have the child get enough rest to be effective at school (keeping their grades up). Anyone want to share some secrets to getting it all done!

My son started 7th grade at a new middle school. He now has to take the school bus every morning (that experience posted elsewhere) and has to get up at 5:30-5:45 to get ready in the morning.

This past week has been okay, but we've had some bumps in the road. He broke the zipper on his backpack out of frustration (luckily, we had another backpack to take the place of the now broken one) and he lost both sets of gym clothes (he said some other kid took them out of his locker; I'm still not sure about that one).

However, on the flip side, he's adjusted amazingly well to his new school, and he's enthusiatic about going each day. He's just recently signed up for two after school clubs. These clubs are supervised by teachers. Also, both the parents and teachers are really involved in the students' education.

He's also involved in the after-school program, where he's playing flag football, and he's really into it. (Thank goodness for Saturday college football and Sunday, Monday, and Thursday pro-football!! LOL!!!)

He'll have great days, good days, and not-so-good days, and we'll all do what we can to be supportive and get through it.