School bullying ,attacks ,and harrassing !

I am so very sorry that your child has been so tragically harassed and is not getting any support from the school where it all happened. Bullying is a tragic experience that can change the entire course of a person's life. It's important that she receive help immediately to empower her emotional well-being and boost her self-esteem.

Schools are responsible to protect children when they're at school. Does the school have a safety policy or a safe code of conduct?

If there's any way we can help, please let us know. In the meantime, please refer to our website: www.championsagainstbullying.com
for tips and strategies.

Alexandra Penn, Founder
"Learning is Impaired when Children are Scared"

i'm very angry that my 13 year old grandaughter who is a top student is being verbally harrassed and shunned. she comes home angry or in tears. i don't understand why the teacher don't notice this. weren't they kids once and know how horrible kids can be. i personnally believe any child that is bullying or harrassing another child should be put on a program where they are not allowed to associate with well behaved kids. a room of bullies taking it out on each other. i also believe these kids are getting something they don't need at home.

what school did this happen at?

Thanks everyone for you comments.... I just think it's really sad that this type of behavior is allowed in our school systems.

I just blogged on this subject last month after picking up a Bullying tip guide that Pinellas County Schools was handing out at a Kids Safety Day in Clearwater. Go to my blog and scroll down two articles or so and I scanned in the tips flyer..Good Luck.
smartiepantsapparel.com/blog/

I am bullied every once and a while. I normally leave it with the staff, but I have relied on police, which works for me. If they don't do anything, move. That sounds pretty serious, and another school may be necessary.

I am sorry for your daughter, and I hope that your peaceful protest, if it happens, works.

Unfortunately, I can believe. Until our legislatures step in and make laws that protect the victims instead of the bullies, both child and adult, nothing will ever change.

Good job Ms Renolds!!!

The best thing to do if you have this kind of problems, is to get evidence in whatever you can as MsReynolds did. She told them that she would press charges to each of the students involved. I it is hard to get evidence, I would say that is is good that your child should take one of those little voice recorders in his or her pocket and when the bullies get to say something or do something, then this will be recorded as evidence.

I kinda had the same situation.....I too told the teachers my son would not be a victim....I refuse! I drew up a letter and sent it to my Sons School District, Principal and the childs parents. It outlined each incident...date, time..etc...and stated if the incidents did not stop they would be sued. It sorta stopped....ONly problem is the kids mother syas MY son targeted her kid and MY kid is making it all up! Really, really....?? I mean, I guess I should have expected that eing as she is a teacher in the same school district....Also, the school said they pulled video of the times and could not see ANY of the incidents.....Am I being paranoid, or is it a cover up....Because quite frankly...My kid is totally stable and would NEVER make this sorta story up....But...as I stated I worry because my son will attend middle school with this boy and his mom is a teacher there...Horray......

I recently had to get ugly with my son's middle school. Especially when I heard about the two 11 yr old boys who committed suicide because of classmates bullying and name calling. I went off!!! I sent the principal a long email explaining how several of the kids in my sons class had threaten to beat him up on the following day of school ( which was a Monday). How he went to church on Sunday and asked the co-pastor to pray for him and the situation he was going through at school. How he was scared to go outside to play and how they trashed him on his webpage. This all happen because he was speaking/talking to this little girl his class (6th grade) and her boyfriend got mad and broke up with her (jealous). First of all... 6th graders should not be dating (boyfriend and girlfriend). Their minds should be on their books. All the other kids are followers so that instantly said they was going to beat my son up over this nonsense. They were all mad at my son cause he broke them up. He admitted he likes the girl and he talks to her but he talks to all the girls. He is not fresh.... just talkative. They called him names over the internet (his webpage). I also sent the principal a copy of both articles regarding the suicides of the the 11 yr old boys. I stated in that email "This will not happen to my son." I told him I wanted a meeting called with all parents of the students involved. The guidance counselor talked to everyone involved but that was not good enough for me. I told the principal that I would press charges against each student if I had to. I got some attention then... the Asst Prin. called each parent and explained if their child continued his behavior with my son that legal charges will be brought against them. My son said the next day when he went to school everyone was nice to him and so far there has been no other incidents. Thank you Jesus!!! It's ridiculous that we have to go to the extreme to get someones attention to bullying in our school systems. I also threaten to call the Washington Post to do a story on this if they dont take action.

Omg. That is just unbelievable!! What about the schoolboard or superintendend? This is outrageous!!!! I would not send him to that school and if I have to fight till the end. And I would report the teacher ASAP. I did and after the principal got involved it got a bit better.
By helicopter Mom I mean watch the other children and teachers like a Hawk and put everything in writing! And if you have to sue the school then you have no choice but to if your childs safety is at stake. I wish you guys the best in the upcoming school year.

Uh yeah...I AM already a helicopter Mom.....I have been since...well...forever.....but my kids have friends, make the grades, and dress to fit in.....I actually sent a letter to the little twits parents....Certified and all.....Get this...His Mommy is a teacher....at the school my son is to go to next year...i tis crazy! She basically told the school principle my kid was making everything up..>Can you believe this??

I hear you!!!! Why are we protecting the bullies? I am going to be a "Helicopter Mom" next school year and the slightest offense I will call the kid's parents. Forget the school! And if it is bad enough of an offense press charges! No more messing around with stupid laws that protect the perpetrator rather than the victim. You call a parent telling them that if their child touches yours one more time you will see them in court, it will stop more than likely.

Our State just had a law on the floor for our House of Rep. and it died on the floor....Not enough "want" for it....a good law too...It is ridiculous. We have a lwa, but one which requires the victim to change schools. The one that did not make it required the bully to change. It stinks....Excuse my language. I am CRAZY for my kiddos and it pains me to see them done an injustice.

All of us parents must write to our district reps and have the law changed. My son too was told to talk to the counselor and i too said that there is nothing wrong with my son, it is the bully that needs to see the counselor! She said, oh now, children need to learn to work things out on their own. Excuse me??????????????? This is not a simple toggle over a match box car! GGGRRRRRRRR

I will try to switch my kid to another school if possible, due that your child is in danger if she continues in the same school, there must be something to be done, sadly, bullies are everywhere. I am sorry but if this would be my case, what I will do is to put my kid in karate lessons to defend herself in case someone attacks her, even though I don't like violence but if nothing is done about it, then I have to do that something and it will be that. When my child was in 2nd grade, I remembered I went to pick her up and I saw this other girl grabbing my daughter from her neck, I couldn't get off my car to tell something to her but I decided to put my daughter in Karate classes. After that, I never had any more problems with someone else bullying my child, I told my child that if she gets attack, then at least she can be able to defend herself.

Did you guy hear about the 5th grader of Dunair Middle school that hung himself ue to bullying. The parents went and complained 8 times!!!!! This must stop!!!!

i wish i knew what to say to my kids, they seem to always be pushed around and made fun of. why? they don't mess with anyone, so why do kids make fun of them? my daughter has had gum in her hair 3 times, and my son is husky, but the fat kids call him fat?

I agree. However, I'm wondering if it might be a good opportunity for you and your son to give a more detailed side of the story. Sometimes the school has a channel of which you go through in these types of situations. I chose to start with the counselor for my son. This way they got to know me and I established a history with the situation. Again, you have to be the voice of reason in letting them know the situation. Then what can they say. The ball falls in their court. Don't give up. If more parents remain vocal, there may actually be someone else complaining about the same thing. There is definitely more power when you can find another parent with a similar situation. Good luck!

Urgh! CFISD is realy gettingon my nerves! I am aving a problem with a boy bullying my son right now (5th grade) and the teacher keeps asking ME if I want him to speak with the counselor about it....Excuse me...EXCUSE ME!!!!??? WHAT? My kid is NOT the problem. He is an excellent student, no behavioral problems whatsoever. My kid isn;t the one inflicting emotional pain on another child. My kid is not the one who needs analyzing....

private school is not the answer private school is not perfect they also wear blinders

you need to call albany thats what i did

I agree there is a lack of advocacy for children these days. Therefore, we have to be the ones to be their strongest supporters. Make sure you keep track of dates and conversations you have with everyone on this matter. Shame on you principal for not making you feel like you were heard. Keep your presence strong at your childs school. Visit frequently and talk to anyone who will listen to your concern. A word of caution. When dealing with an emotional situation like this, be very rational and reasonable when talking to the other parties involved. I know it is hard. I think you can get better results depending on the situation. Good luck!

I really should have done what my girlfriend's husband recommended (he's a HS teacher different district). He told me CONTACT THE MEDIA. Better yet, if you can get a group of parents, alert the media. You can try bump to superintendent, but they'll close rank & you'll likely not get anywhere.

If we can't afford to put our kids in a private school, then, sadly I guess that we have to deal with this big problem, as I said before, unfortunately the majority of public schools lack of supervision.

I understand that private schools have more supervision but what do you do when you can not afford a private school?I have to deal with it because i don't have the money to send him to private school

There is more supervision in private schools in hallways, bathrooms, recess and after school.

I see that some public schools don't do nothing about bullies, even with evidence, who ends up getting in trouble is the child being hit or abuse than the bully in some cases. In private schools they pay more attention to this case, the bully can even get expell out of the school if he or she continues, they have more control of the situation.

Hi,so sorry for what your child is going through.I'am going through school bullying with my son he is being called names and pushed on.The teacher does absolutley nothing the princapal has since been notified.My son doesn't want to go to school so i can certainly feel for you .I can't imagine what i would do if things that happen to your child happen to mine.where are you living i'am just curious where they let attacks go on like that and nothing happens?
Bridgett

Wine Tuscany,

Is March 20th a national anti-bullying day? You'll have to forgive me, I haven't been following this thread...I don't know if Arizonans know about the significance of this date, but I live near our state house and I think that day is during my spring break, so I will definitely make the effort to participate. My child's school does not seem to have a bullying problem, the principal and admin is really on the ball. But I wouldn't mind standing in solidarity with other parents because my son was bullied at his previous school. I tip my hat to you for your activism and dedication to this issue.

Press assault charges against perpetrator with Count DA. Then contact district and school board members.

Admittedly, it didn't get me very far. My daughter as a teen was kicked in stomach while walking in hallway. Principal told me the boy was suspended. I told him that in reall world that would be an assault charge and it shouldn't be overlooked.

My son was target of bullies for years. I complained several times (mostly in email), CFISD never responded. My son finally fought back and the parents of his attacker pressed assault charges. My 11 year old son was sent to ALC and district personnel stated they could do nothing since the parents escalated. I voiced several complaints to principal, district personnel. I finally took my son out of public school and placed him a private school where he is thriving.

I hope your daughter is okay. Make sure you have her in counseling to recover from this incident. Remove her from the school or demand transfer to another school; press assault charges against perpetrator.

For those of you who are not afraid to use you voices and have the teachers, staff tow the line, I commend you...Now everyone else who speaks of what takes place in the schools their child/children attend what are you doing to get involved and take CONTROL of your schools? As everyone knows and for those who don't, I will be at my State House in Rhode Island the 1st day of Spring March 20th, and yes it's a Friday, and my daughter will be their, her cousin who is handicapped, my children, my grand children, my husband and family & friends "Stand & Deliever", We The People...I have asked how many of you from state to state will be at your state house? I haven't had anyone say that they will be, I guess it will be the smallest state in the union, and the state that was not invited to represent us at the Signing of The Constatution...I have acted on behalf of the children who are special needs, I never tolerated anyone hurting a child, No one did the terrible things to students that a few of you mentioned,..question for those of you, What did you do about it? Thanks for listening. :)

I've found the excuses staff ( I'm including upper admin, teachers, aides, lunch ladies, office workers and even rude nurses ) use to bully range as widely as the type of students they do it too. I've seen Special Ed students even treated shamefully. Ever overheard staff's comments, conversations or witnessed their sighs and eyerolls at students? Ugly. For those I say GET A NEW JOB! They have NO BUSINESS working with children. I do more than complain. I let each individual know that I know not only what they're DOING but that I'm spreading the word and doing what I can to make THEM walk the line. These Unions protect the crappiest of teachers. But even they can only protect so much. Reputations can be severely damaged and they don't want their tricks exposed. Want confirmation about a teacher? Ask your childs friends. Good teachers get raves by kids. Bad teachers are hated. It's VERY simple that way. Kids are honest. I've lived coast to coast and also witnessed across the internet the same problem throughout the USA in all types of schools the same problems. Is that not interesting? Does it not say something's wrong? It's like a miniature government ( the school ) vs the people ( students/parents ). I say too much government of ANY type is a very BAD thing. I get loud now FAST at the first sign of a rotten teacher or staff problem. My son's better off but it's a constant battle and should NOT have to be. I want these educators to look me in the eye and explain to me who they think they are and how they can sleep at night. Maybe a few sleep a bit more restlessly knowing I'm up their rears but there's thousands more getting away with being paid to be a destructive force in our kids lives. I want it stopped.

So my schoool isn't the only school where the teachers do the majority of harassing. Down here (southern Alabama) it's majority black, but the racism here is still unreal. And since I've actually brought my daughter up to look at who a person is and not what they look like, she gets the same treatment.

A racist remark was made to a boy that involved her, because any white person from my town must wanna hang black people, the teacher told the boy to be careful or my daughter would hang him from a tree. Needless to say, I was outraged, but like everything else, it was swept under the rug. I recently found out she still teaches at the school.

Since it's well known that not only does she hang out with black kids, but I allow her to have them as boyfriends, she also gets punished for stupid reasons that most people overlook. And since I am known to complain, they no longer call me at home with a "problem". I'm really close to contacting the media because I'm sick of the unfair treatment of the very people they spend most of their time with.

The saddest part is how angry she's becoming because of the treatment she receives. She tells me constantly that she's gonna just explode some day, which really concerns me. The school counselor doesn't listen and I can't afford a professional, so I just continue to hope and pray that she keeps coming to me so at least she has a place to vent that's healthy.

I have witnessed bullying teachers scream at kids ( losers ), target a child for having their parent bring up an issue, favor kids, and in the lunchroom HA! I've witnessed them forcing kids to eat who aren't hungry, eat ketchup or mustard because the kid took too much ( that'll teach them huh ), grab kids ( um, hands off! ), humiliate kids ( illegal ) and outright threaten kids. HELLO! The staff's NOT going to stop bullies if THEY themselves are a bully! There are sneaky ways to bully kids and staff are good at it. And that if an adult didn't see it then it didn't happen mentality is a ridiculous JOKE! Give me 15 minutes in a gym full of school staff and I'll let them in on not only what we DO know is really going on... but what I think of them as a person. Of course, they'd never give us that kind of voice.

The reality is that nothing is done regarding bullying, no actions are taken and what it is worst, the child that has being bullied, is the one that ends up punished and in trouble for defending himself or herself, what a shame.

Nothing will change at the school untill the principal and dean of students are replaced. Punishments are decided on by grade point average and sports. Two children can break the same rule and one can be suspended and one will not even get a call home to the parent. Bullying is done by teachers in the lunch room everyday. Complaints have been made but nothing gets done about it except that your child will be picked on more after you complain. School board does nothing they are useless also. This is a totaly corrupt system at the middle school. Best advice is to have children carry small hidden voice recorders. After we get the proof, call the news channels with it. Every time something bad happens here they sweep it under the rug. Bad publicity will make them listen.

Do NOT forget to NAME NAMES of staff! And ask it go on their record if proven they were negligent! You'll fid the school doesn't want you talking to the bullies parents either. Basically, either brush it off OR cover their *sses! If we can't count on staff to do their job then WHO?

Unfortunately it happens a lot where kids are bullied, by the students and by the teachers. It happens all the time here. Don't stop at the school board. They did nothing to help me. I had to go to the state super intendant before anything was done...and my email included every little detail of the problems, and of everyone's lack of concern about them.

It amazes me how many kids who've flunked two grades are still mixed into class with kids two years younger than them. They're more physically & mentaly mature and put them in seperate classes! I don't want a 14 or 15 yr old in the 7th grade with my 12 yr old thank you. And they tend to be the biggest bullies too!

In my county we have a serious problem with racial profiling. The African American kids are suspended or expelled for simples things that we use to do as kids. In their policy they say it says fighting is automically gets you ten days but that is not true. It only depends on which principal you see at the time. My daughter was in a fight. She was defending herself. She was suspended for 20 school days which includes not taking midterm exams. The other student hit a teacher. Their punishment was not the same, but she has made an effort this year not to go to the office and she almost made it. SHE WENT ONE TIME AND THE NEXT TIME SHE WENT WAS FOR THE FIGHT. I was called to pick her up and the decision was already made for her to be suspended for this amount of time. I am not by any means saying that my child is the best, but this is detrimental to her education and could kill her potential of really wanting to excel in her education at this school. She is smart and has goals. She wants to be a nurse. In my opinion, this punish was not fair and it was not thought out properly. He didnt see the fight and I didnt either, but I do know that she didnt hit the teacher, but I feel that she got some of the punishment. They have in school suspension and Saturday school to use also. I spoke to one of the assistant principals and he said he just couldnt understand what happened because she has been such a good student this year. So that lets me know that even he noticed a change in her this school year. I am going to the school board about the situation, but that may not change anything for other students. Some of these students may have mental and emotional issues, but instead of helping they are causing more problems. Throwing kids out of school is not helping the situation when there are no other schools available for your child to attend. We have one of each in the city(one elementary, middle, and one high shoool). I wish that I could send her to private school, but can not afford it. It is sad to say that every time a administrator calls a parent he wants you to believe that HIS TEACHERS ARE TREATING KIDS RIGHT EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY. I hope you dont believe that. He is an advocate for HIS TEACHERS, BUT WHO CAN HELP OUR KIDS WHO HAVE NO VOICE. I am a concerned parent who is looking for answers, not just for my child but for all kids.

We need to get parents in our communities to get together to go against the school. I am trying this we will see what happens and how many parents stand up.

It seems to me all the rules and regulations are aimed at the students. How's about rules, regulations and punishments for the staff when they drop the ball?

We had a horrible experience this past Spring. I complained to administration 7 times (Aug-April 07-08) about bullying going on. My son had never responded back and was getting very depressed & afraid to go to school - sometimes begging not to go. I drove him most days so he wouldn't have to ride bus. Administration did very little (CFISD - Houston). Counselor was sweet, but I don't think they addressed no matter how many times I complained. In April on that particular morning, my son got fed up with the teasing and fought back. The parents of that kid then pressed assault charges against my 6th grader and I was informed by principal to pick my son up at the police station. I tried bumping it up to principal and district personnel but got no where. We hired an atty & forensic psychologist to defend my son (& teachers were very supportive of my son) but district personnel insisted on ALC placement. My son had nightmares for months. I attempted to countersue against the kid who provoked the attack but DA wouldn't accept my charges. I wanted to talk to the parents of the bully but district wouldn't release that info (didn't learn name of person who pressed charges until court date).

We removed son from CFISD and he's now attending a private school and thriving. He's like a new and happy kid. I hate how much we're paying for tuition but so relieved that he's enjoying school & gaining his confidence back.

I strongly believe we need to advocate for tougher Anti-Bully Laws (like the one passed in Florida) which holds schools accountable for responding to reports of bullying.

I AGREE WITH YOU. MY SON FOUGHT BACKALSO. MY SON WAS IN GYM CLASS, THEY WERE READY FOR GYM SITTING ON THE FLOOR. THIS IS THE BEST PART, NO TEACHER IN THE GYM. THIS KID WAS KICKING MY SON IN THE BACK. MY SON GOT UP AND TOLD HIM T STOP OR FIGHT. THE KID HIT MY SON AND MY SON HIT BACK. A TEACHER FROM THE NEXT DOOR CLASS CAME IN TO SEE WHAT WAS HAPPENING. SOME KIDS GOT THE VP. MY SON HAD A SMALL BRUISE ON HIS CHEEK, THE OTHER KID GOT 2AND 1/2 DAYS SUSPENSION I HAD THE OPTION TO TAKE MY SON HOME WHICH I DID. I TOLD HE VP HE DOES NOT GET PUNISHED FOR DEFENDIN HIMSELF. TWO DAYS LATER I GET ALETTER FORM SCHOOL THAT SAID HE WAS SUSPENDED FOR A DAY WHICH HE WASN'T. THEY SAID ITS POLICY. THE POLICE WON'T PRESS CHARGES BECAUSE HE IS NOT 16 YEARS OLD. SO NOW I AM GET RULES AND LAWS AOUT THIS ISSUE AND WILL BE BRINGING IT TO THE SUPERINTENDENT ON SCHOOLS. I HATE THIS SCHOOL WITH A PASSION. SOMETIMES I THINK MY KIDS WOULD BE BETTER OFF IN CITY SCHOOLS INSTEAD OD COUNTRY SCHOOLS.

We told the Super AND Principal AND teachers the same thing. First time he fought back they tried in-school suspension. I slammed THEIR own regulations down in front of them and pointed to where it not only says HE can actively defend himself, but defend another student under attack. Of course it bounced off of them. I'm seriously unimpressed with school staff intelligence. Seriously. Makes you wonder.

i agree with laura on this,

NO!!! I DO NOT "TOLERATE" BULLYING, but my son, has been "BULLIED", and i told him , after he "TOOK" all "proper" channel's- to get help and come to me---in a "melt-down" (THEN I FOUND OUT ABOUT IT) he tried to handle it his-self.... I TOLD THE SCHOOL ---YOU DO SOMETHING.!..BUT WHEN MY SON "GOES OFF!!!!" after coming to "YOU", for "HELP"...HE BETTER NOT!!! GET IN TROUBLE....

I will say this as a parent. I work my butt off to raise my child right. It's a 24 hr job 365 days a year.. no slacking. IF my child were caught bullying ANYONE... omg he'd face the wrath! He wouldn't see one game, one phone call, one minute of TV until school ended. He'd apologise to that student in public and fill his weekends volunteering at a boys home or cleaning parks! And oooooh the HUGE book report he'd hand write on bullying! Not on MY watch he WON'T get away with something so horrendous!

You are RIGHT......something needs done, but if NO ONE cares enough----POP 'EM.....

There's plenty of good kids from rough home-lives. Whatever the reason behind the bullies need to run roughshod over other kids, our kids need not suffer. Make the punk wear a shirt DAILY ( until end of school year like a uniform ) reading [ I'M A BULLY AND BULLIES ACCOMPLISH NOTHING IN LIFE ]. And make the parents apologise to the parents of the bullied kid in person and explain what THEY intend to do to STOP their kids behavior. If this fails the kid leaves that school permanently too bad so sad. They don't deserve the same rights as my kid in school. Sound harsh? Don't care. They disrupt the system so let them LEAVE.

i agree with laura on this.

I do "agree" your child" needs to fight back....are we talking ...one on one? OR one - then a "group"?. I think, these kids, from uncaring, unloving homes and they have a need to FEEL BIG, ONE GOOD "POP" with the "BOTTOM OF THE HAND TO THE END OF THEIR NOSE, and that is all it will take. I have always told my son, you better NOT start it--but if you "DEFEND" yourself, you will "NEVER" be in trouble with us....

The thing here is that some kids are lacking of respect to grown-ups, teachers, etc.,these kids are not afraid of any consecuences especially if they are the bullies,they don't really care if they get on detention or anything else. This is not as the old times, when we were teenagers, our parents, teached us to have respect for others, well, this is how it was on my time, now is completely different, I believed this might be one of the reasons kids are like this these days, because they know that their parents will not do nothing to them about it, that is my idea.

I have posted earlier but the best policy is if you can not run or get away or talk your way out of it or no teachers are in shouting distance or,or...............
In some way we have all felt the bully either in school or outside of school it is a awful feeling.
My kids were taught to do the above and when the "OR" was no more just do not overly hurt the person bullying you. Even the grand kids take martial arts it helps children feel confident, excellent in the "Focusing" area, coordination,self-esteem ect.

One thing I do NOT agree with is the no hitting back rule. It's a load of ****!! My son tried the hold them off or run away deal. Um, doesn't work. And why tell a teacher if he's ignored or gets in trouble too? It might sound good on paper but in the real world it fails. I told my son to fight back HARD! The problem is bullies KNOW they don't really face any consequences. They laugh at suspensions and lectures. And in-school suspension's the stupidest policy I've ever heard of. Who thought of that? What they need is to get slugged back in the nose. Nothing like a dose of their own medicine. If the school's won't take care of it let the kids defend themselves.

aahhhhhh!!!!!
I see some brotherens are out there. I laugh but know Your Pain I wish people could get a glimsp of what the outside of the box looks like. I had a teacher talk to me ask WHO do I trust? First question I asked what State are you from NY I said your SCRE_ ed. I proceeded to tell her these two teachers you can Trust.
and it gets worse with time...........Hang in there..

I HEAR WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. WE MOVE OUR KIDS FROM THE CITY IN NY TO A SMALL TOWN IN UPSTATE NY. WE GET CALLED CITY FOLK ALL THE TIME. IF WE MAKE A COMPLAINT IN THE TOWN, WE WERE TOLD TO DEAL WITH BECAUSE ALL US CITY FOLK WERE DISTROYING THERE TOWN. WE HAVE BEEN UP HERE 11 YEARS AND IT ONLY GETS WORSE. THE KIDS MY SON HAS PROBLEMS WITH ARE FROM AROUND HERE.

We're stationed with our company in Louisville. We opted to buy a farm in a dinky town in Southern, IN. What a HUGE mistake! I swear there's five lastnames in the book and the GOOD OLD BOY system reigns. It's repulsive in this day and age. And gawd forbid if you weren't raised round' here. Eyeroll. Talk about smalltown school's thinking they're exempt from laws. If given the choice between a big city and large school and this... handsdown we're going big! We've bid to move ( hurry hurry ) and will never subject our son nor ourselves to such a backwoods ' who knows who ' mentality again. They think it's 1960 here and will never welcome modern progressive thinking. We've literally been TOLD that by locals. They aren't doing their next generation any favors. Bullying is accepted. Just tighten up your overall straps and deal with it. Disgusting!!

I am looking for parents who have kids currently going to GREENSBURG SALEM MIDDLE SCHOOL,whose childeren are being bullied by other students!!!If you have tried to talk to school officals and have not been able to solve this matter then we need you to contact me so that we can attend the school board meeting and address this issue.my son was being pushed kicked and harrased by kids on the bus for two weeks stright,when he told the bus driver he was called a whiner and to sit down both his father and my self went to the bus driver to the vice principle and was told they see no proublem.this continued until finally my son was surrouned at his locker every day until he was pucnched and ended up with a concussion,and he got suspended!!! I plan on getting a petition and picketing out side the school that claims to have zero tolerence for bullying HA if you think you can help or would like to stop your childs nightmare in school then lets talk!!!!!you have to protect your young because principle MR.MCMILLEN AND VICE PRINCIPLE MRS.HOUSEWORTH FROM GREENSBURG SALEM MIDDLE SCHOOL WONT DO IT !!!!!

it is a law but depending on who you are and where you live "That gooodd olldd Boy" thing still exist

It is a LAW that the school must address any type of bullying, harrassment, etc. The classroom teacher, administrator must by law take action! There is suppose to be zero tolerance!

I am a Father: The bully was my daughters Tennis coach He did not like an answer to a question he asked.
I have always told her to tell the truth sometimes with a little smoothness to it but still the truth.
He took it out on her the next day by sitting her on the bench (she is #1 Player) I came home to change to go to the match and she was lying on her bed crying
I will tell you that Coach was vvvveeerrryyy lucky there is 5 miles between my house and the courts.
That was his last season and ALL Parties were face to face.............................
this is a little off subject but there are a lot of people not in favor of the death penalty but if your son or daughter was killed by someone and there was 100% proof what would you want then????

I'd just like to know one thing....where are the fathers in all of this? If someone harmed our child you can bet my husband would be in the face of all involved. Fathers on the forum?......

www.bullypolice.org/ri_law.html
www.opencongress.org/bill/110-h3132/text
HI,desertrat14* :)
I will be at my State House in the Spring of 2009, I have made T-Shirts with the Constitution on the background like my avatar We The People..We are standing our ground, and expect Congress/President to Deliever..STAND & DELIEVER

Additionally... the school's are quick to let YOU the parent know when you're lacking whether it be your kid's grades aren't up to par, your lunch account's slipped overdue, lil Janey was tardy again, etc. Feel free to point out THEIR failings! Besides fed & state laws the schools have their OWN set of regulations they rarely follow. Get a copy and shove it in their faces. Be aggesive, armed with knowlege and be PERSISTANT! They ARE responsible! GET COPIES of ALL email transactions & bring a recorder and notepad for notes you'll take in meetings. Don't discuss issues on the phone! There's no witnesses! Give them time response deadlines. No more than 12 hrs! Tell them you are documenting EVERYTHING for legal reasons. Usually perks them up quick! If a Principal or teacher is a waste of time BYPASS them and go directly to the Superintendant! Go higher and remain firm and let them know you're documenting THEIR responses as well. You go in armed and direct they know they cannot intimidate you. I even slammed COPIES of bruises my son recieved down to the Superintendant which moved his butt FAST! Hello! Lawsuit! Job! Blemished records! Hello!

In my experience no one wants to take responsibility to stop it. Teacher's turning a blind eye. They don't want to get involved unless they HAVE to. Some are too busy bullying students to notice kids who bully. Idiot parents who ignore their bullying childs behavior or think lil Johnny's mister innocent. Latchkey kids who's parents are too busy, or bullies themselves. I even once had a Superintendant dare to tell us if something happens to our child IN SCHOOL we should call the sheriff? HELLO! It's happening in YOUR school pal! YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE! Two things tick me off. Ignorance and laziness. Unfortunately there's too many adults responsible for children that fit into that catagory! You point your finger in their faces and tell them you hold them PERSONALLY responsible for your child's safety. Then inform them there are LAWS stating they WILL keep your child safe or they WILL answer to you and the public. You tell them your job is to make sure they do theirs to the LETTER! Don't worry about ticking them off. They deserve it. Had they BEEN doing their jobs it wouldn't BE happening. Local papers also LOVE to gossip about their schools so tell the school they'll be famous by the next edition. It works.

www.freewebs.com/motherbear3/

i have created a blog site for all motherbears to sound off about school bullying !!!!!!

GOOD THINKING! IT'S A SHAME THAT OUR CHILDREN ARE NOT SAFE IN SCHOOLS. I HOPE THE PAPER WORKS IN YOUR FAVOR LET ME KNOW. I FIND THAT EVERYONE IN MY COMMUNITY COMPLAINS ABOUT THE SCHOOL BUT NOBODY STANDS UP. I WISH I COULD JOIN YOU IN YOUR PROTEST BUT I AM FROM DOVER PLAINS, NY.

ty everyone for your concern and insight,well I have met with the principle and after alot of self control she is still alive but i got now where with her i called the local newspaper and have not heard from them yet.my plan is to attend the next school board meeting,and i have also decided to picket the school with a sign that there is a bullying proublem at this school if anyone would like to join me i live in greensburg pa and its greensburg salem middle school email and we can arrange a peaceful picket,i am also sending my son to school with a whistle and if he feels threatned at any time i told him to just blow and blow until he gets adult attention if that wont work the next step is a fog horn if that fails then on to pepper spray,if the school wont keep my son safe i will.

I concurr!

Wow... this subject is a touchy one. It seems there is a lot of bullying going on in the schools. It's a shame you can't send your child to school without the fear of some other child bullying them everyday. I've been there (someone bullied me in middle school) and its no fun. I cried and I told no one. It's terrible!!!

I know it is not the best advise, but put your daughter in karate lessons not for learning violence, but as to defend herself. I make this decision with my daughter when she was in 2nd grade, because one day when I was picking her up from school, another girl had her against the wall and pulling her shirt, I told my daughter that nobody else will do that to her so I make the decision of putting her in karate lessons, since then, the same girl tried to attack her but my daughter was very confident and told her that if she puts a single finger on her she would not doubt in applying her skills, since then this bully girl never dare to touch her again.

IHOPE YOUR SON IS OK ALSO. IT SEEMS TO BE A BIG PROBLEM IN ALL SCHOOLS. IT'S WORSE THAN WE WENT TO SCHOOL. MY SONIS DOING BETTER IN SCHOOL SINCE THIS FIGHT BECAUSE HE STOOD UP FOR HISELF. BUT THE KIDS MAKE TO MUCH OF IT. ONE DAY HE MIGHT STAND UP FOR HIMSELF AND GET HURT. I WORRY ABOUT THAT.

i hope your son is ok.im so sorry for you and your son.keep me posted on how he is and what the school does.last year this happened to my daughter and the school did nothing to the bully.i hope things go better for you.good luck.

hi I am going through this sort of thing right now my son ended up with contusions and a concussion this happened on friday so i am approching everything monday morning

THANK YOU FOR YOUR RESPONSES, BUT THIS IS A LONG PROCESS. SOCIETY DOESN'T KEEP AN EYE ON TODAYS CHILDREN. KIDS FALL THROUGH THE CRACKS ALL THE TIME. BULLIES ARE KIDS WHO DON'T GET ANY ATTENTION. SO THEY DO WHAT EVER TO GET ANY ATTENTION. I GOT THE SCHOOLS ATTENTION B GOING TO LOCAL SHERIFF. THEY HAVE ONE THAT STAYS AT THE SCHOOL ALL DAY. I LIVE IN UPSTATE NY.

Icare4kids,
I live in Phoenix and we have a surveillance store here called Spy Headquarters which is also online. I think a junior high age kid would be saavy enough to use a small camera or recorder and if my son was being threatened on a regular basis, I would get it on tape or in a photo. Then I would call a lawyer. But I think a protest with a large banner in front of the school and a phone call to the local TV station news desk would also be apropos. Call the news desk or contact the investigative reporter (and pray that it's a slow news day) in the town or city in which you live. If you don't want your child to risk injury by caring spyware that could be discovered, hire a private invesitgator to get the photos. Send copies certified mail to the principal, school board members etc. Good luck!

Oh, I thought everyone in this community board is in the same area. I live in Sacramento, Calif. (but planning to move to Roseville, Calif.) Is anyone in this area?

I have worked in the system, put my butt on the line for students, I have tried in the past to have this enforced, I am not afraid, I cannot stand another story about this. I don't care what others may think, We are moms/dads/grandparents/caregivers...I will have Channel 12,10 & 6 there. I have already started the petition, I am also using the WE THE PEOPLE...our constitution...I am tired of the blind eye, i am tired of the favoritizm, i a tried, ..sorry i have phemonia for real...I won't give up...I know before my last breath this will know longer happen to children...it affects their learning, their appetite, their self confidence, lack of belonging...Bullies watch out,,and I will be saying it loud and clear..BACK OFF TO THE PARENTS OF BULLIES....I LIVE IN RHODE ISLAND...

This is a law already, federal. Most schools profess to have a zero tolerance to bullying, the implemenation is what differs. The case that set precedence for the schools being responsible was L.W. v. Toms River Board of Education in New Jersey. It went to the Supreme Court and it was ruled that the schools have to provide a safe environment for the students.
That means, you need to document the process. They are supposed to escalate the punishment at each offense. Therefore, unless a weapon is involved, expulsion is down the line of punishments. All schools should have a policy--inquire.

Citing the case normally gets their attention, unless you have someone who is not too bright. That being the case, if you have a substantial case, go to a lawyer. Once the attorney write a letter, you should not have a problem. It does take that extreme behavior.

I have thought about this for so long and am thrilled to see I'm not alone. I'm hoping you are local. I am new to this site and havent looked around much.

www.bullypolice.org/ri_law.html

Why change schools? You change it! The need to stop this is NOW...push the bill into law, write your congressman/woman...THIS IS YOUR TOWN, THIS IS YOUR CHILDS SCHOOL, YOU PAY THE BILLS WITH YOUR TAXES...I AM GOING TO BE AT THE R.I. STATE HOUSE IN SPRING RIGHT ON THE LAWN...WITH MY GRANDCHILDREN, MY CHILDREN...SPRING IS RENEWAL, EVERYONE I KNOW WILL DO THIS ON THE SAME DAY. I INVITE ALL OF YOU TO DO THE SAME.

I just joined in in this community to find out if I can get some help about how to handle children that are being bullied. I can't believe what I have been reading complaints, after complaints... I am now more worried for my kids. I just found out my daughter has been bullied for a week now, she finally told me why she want to move to another school.

My daughter and her bestfriend are now in 7th grade in Middle School they had been best friends since Elementary. There's these 8th graders that has been bullying them, one of the girls asked my daughter if she wants to fight her (while one of the girls asked my daughter, the other girls started pushing her and her bestfriend) my daughter responded to her and said "no, I don't want to fight" and walked away. I'm really proud of her having to do that. Now, they are calling her scare-the-cat/chicken... There was one incident where they asked my daughters' bestfriend, to fight my daughter and she said "no, she's my bestfriend." They get bullied constantly.

Today both my daughter and her bestfriend finally got fed up and told me everything.

Now, I am very worried about their well being and education, they are trying very hard to get use to there new school and getting there grades up. Now, I understand why she is getting low grades. I knew there was something holding up her grades/study.

She earned several honor rolls and was a mentor (helping younger kids) in Elementary. I hope this will give you an idea who my daughter is.

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter, Jborg, this is a parent & child nightmare. I hope she is doing well. This is one reason why we agreed for our daughter to not attend school tomorrow until I get some answers.

Sonora, theirs concern parents in this community, would it be possible to get your connection from the Media to meet with us? Only if the parents or guardian is willing to go through this fight for our children. The more people the louder we get and we need to get heard.

We need this bullying stopped!

Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences, and hearing my frustration.

There's also spyware cameras that are small and it you can catch the bully on tape then I would bet the school will pay attention....the nightly news might too.

You have done just about everything you can. However, you can fight fire with fire I only bring this up because I had a ex-brother-in-law who did this. His son was being bullied bad and he like you nothing was down about it. So when he was able to catch the kid alone he grabbed him and threaten the life out of him. His kid was never bothered again. I personally do not agree with that but it got results. Now do not throw darts at me for this post. There might be one more thing in this State we have the SBI State Board of Investigation a Police force that checks off on Police invovled actions You could see if one is in your State an appeal to them about your allogations

Oh good luck! We've battled bullying kids AND staff ( yes staff ) for years. No one answers to anyone. We've gone to the top. They even ADMIT there's a problem with staff and bad kids but seem clueless as to what to do. Or unwilling to fix it. I highly suspect the latter. And they're great at sweeping it under the carpet or making you feel like you're the only one. How can staff help prevent bullying when they ignore it OR are a bully themselves? Scary part is hearing the school staff ADMIT they know there's nothing being done about bad staff or kids. We're FURIOUS! We can't wait to move again. Talk about lazy schools!

I HAD WRITTEN ABOUT MY SON BEING BULLIED IN OCT. I AM STILL FIGHTING WITH THE SCHOOL POLICE ETC. MY SON WAS IN GYM CLASS YESTERDAY, IG SURPRISE NO TEACHER AGAIN IN THE CLASSROOM WITH THE KIDS. A BULLY KICKED MY SON IN THE BACK, HE GOT UP PUNCHED THE BULLY. WELL BIG FIGHT IN THE GYM ANDNO TEACHER. KIDS FROM THE CLASS HAD TO RUN TO THE VP OFFICE WHILE ANOTHER TEACHER NEXT DOOR WENT LOOKING TO SEE ABOUT THE NOISE. THE KID GOT SUSPENDED BUT UNLESS THE CHILD IS 16YEARS OLD YOU CANNOT PRESS CHARGES. NOW YOU NEED LAWYER (HAVE) BUT KIDS TODAY DO NOT GET PUNISHED HARSH ENOUGH TO GET THE MESSAGE TO STOP THE BULLYING. I SAY NOW AFTER ALL THIS THE PARENTS SHOULD BE HELD LIABLE.

It's always a slow newsday in the local section of your paper (trust me, I've known journalists who worked for the dailies.....) spill your guts to a local writer. Don't loathe the media....USE THE MEDIA!

I would keep on going to the school board, police and everything until they did something or tell the parent to be up there at the school and finish it your self.

Wadenurse, i agree, when mamma bear gets mad, you don't mess with her. Bullying has to stop. We protect our children, whatever we have to do.

Ydanyet, i also teach my kids to defend theirselves, but they are being taught respect, so they know not to start things, and know not to hit,unless they have to. I would like to send my kids to karate and self defense, even myself. I have a friend taking self defense,and invited me.

Why is it so hard to stop bullying??? I want a boot camp for kidds of all ages. I seen a bad fight in the elementary one morning. Kidds should not know how to fight at the age of 7 or 8 years of age. It was a nasty fight.

To me, a lot comes from the home,and how kids are being raised, we need a center for kidds to receive love, to be taught the right things,, some place kids can go when they don't have a good home....just kind of rambling and thinking,,,sorry! i really want a boot camp. one for all ages.

A peaceful protest will get you absolutely nowhere. You've got to go to the "next level" until you get results. I've contacted my state's Attorney General because the bullying is continuing against my son, even though it has been addressed by the principal & assistant principal. I am generally a peaceful person, but there comes a time when Mama Bear has to swat her paws at whatever threatens her cubs.
I don't know exactly when this event happened to your daughter, but anytime a person, ANY PERSON, lays a hand on a child, be it adult or fellow student, this is called Assault & Battery. My advice is to take pictures and file criminal charges against the students or their parents. Maybe THEN you'll see results. If the problem isn't handled, then contact a local attorney and have him write a letter stating your intent to pursue other legal action against the school district.

special educationis no reason for light discipline. My child is in special needs but I expect the best behavior out of him daily and he gives it. If this child grows up thinking it is okay to disrespect and hit others how long before he steals or hits and officer and is in jail. Special ed children can learn they just learn diffferently. My child knows not to hit, and or curse because mommy expects better. now on the other hand I also teach him to defend himself if he must if there is not an adult in close range. He is taking karate and self defense classes these classes don't just teach your child to fight back they also teach them self confidence and inner strength. which most of the time other children pick with kids they think they can get away with bullying children that appear not to be the fight back kind. These classes could change that for them. If you have to go to the superintended and also speak to someone in the special education department. Don't let his needs be an excuse. Never Never give up parents we are fighting for the rights that our children can have a safe day in school everyday. If we don't do it who will.

School staff needs to be accountable for the lack of action. My plan is to go to the Superintendent, then the School Board, then the department of Education, and the State Attorney General. I won't stop until the bullying stops.

msowder, thanks, we can pray about the bootcamp thing, i may just bring it up at the school board. i will be thinking about it, you never know what can happen if you continue praying about things. God Bless, have a wonderful day.

I read in one of the post about boot camps for teens.
Most States do have that but most parents if they are not having to bail-out their child they do not care what happens but if the child becomes a pain-in the-neck to the parents I have seen most ship them off to the various camps. That is why you(someone wrote) are correct in reporting it to the police. Keep reporting it to the Police. The Police will act upon it to the Parents
Verbal threats need to be taped it cost about $25 for a voice recorder that last 16hours it has to be a THREAT not just swearing and lite harassment. Then take it to the Police make a complaint. If he is with friends make sure you name all on it. I am sure once the Police visit all his friends there are some parents that will nip it in the bud very quickly and they will tell their other friends what they got. I would think it will not take to long before he is left alone.

The child is in spe-education they can suspended but only for 3 days ... so he will be back and then that will be worst ... The disciplinarina told my son just stay away from places by himself ... it i such ashame he get sick every moring before going to school

go to your superintendent and report this i did when my child was being bullied he did something about it he suspended the boys.was this helpful

My son this is happening to him to.... the school will not do nothing they told me to reported it to the police i did so now they friends are bulling him.... it is really bad

Your idea sounds even better donnalynn. Something more needs to be done that's for sure. Its not fair for the children who go to school to learn to have to worry about being harassed everyday. Great idea!! The kids who always pick at others need a little dose of their own medicine.

msowder, the only thing about them sitting out of school for a while is the kidds would enjoy it. They can sleep in, eat what they want, play games...things like that. I want a boot camp for trouble teens. What do you think about that. That way they wont enjoy being home, and want to get into trouble because the consequences will be boot camp, something they have to work hard at. Just a thought anyways. thanks for your reply. take care and god bless ya.

winetuscany I agree if the schools would attempt to put a stop to this by making the consequences sitting out of school for a while then these situations would decrease. I believe the schools loose so much money when a child is not there so it all comes down to the dollar.

winetuscany, thanks for the info. we have rights to stand up for what we believe. I will call the news stations, or threaten to sue also. Way 2 go girl. take care, and god bless.

donnalynn,
Thank you, Numbers work. I never backed down. I did resolve my sons issue by threatening to sue. What I still see is this is still going on. Parents and their children that are being bullied should stand up for the right to be in a safe school enviroment, in a classroom where they can feel secure that students will leave them alone. The bullies must have consequences, if it means they lose days out of school and don't meet the required attendance to move up to the next grade or graduate that may put a burr under their and their parents skin...let me know if this was helpful
:)

winetuscany, that's funny, but vey true. i like that.i wonder what they would think about that. maybe we can get that started. so far i haven't had a problem with my kids, hopefully i wont, but have heard about others, and i would like to pass around the thought to them, something has to be done! and done now!. thanks a bunch. god bless and have a beautiful day.

Just keep this in mind, write down everything who, what where when and how with the situation. Everyone you have spoken to and what had been said. Most important take pictures if your child ever has a mark on her. These things could be very useful later.

How many parents do you know that will keep their child/children out of school and do a protest? Do it in front of the Superintendants office, do it in front of their school. Call the news, that will surely get attention.

www.opencongress.org/bill/110-h3132/text

Jborge** I am so sorry to hear this, I am upset for you. The link above can help.

What state are you in? What school district?

im so sorry to hear about your daughter. i dont like bulleying at all!! what school? our school kind of pushes it under the rug, and i dont like that. i will be praying about the situation, let me know how it goes.

int will change the outcome of your daughters situation. I went to the superintendent of the school and things change drastically explaining that I would be contacting the media if action were not taken. There are many peop

It is so sad that some of us parents have to ack unpleasent at our kids schools because of the bad kids and school staff that act like nothing is going on and most of these school offices employees see and know these bad kids and when we as parents confront them they ack ignorant and won't talk and make parents think that it's their nice child and they know your child did nothing but try to defend themselves.but some teachers and staff can't say nothing because they are scare if they speak out they would get fired.
I am one of the parents that my first time I ack like a queen,2nd time I ack like a JACK---.LOL

omg. i would have gone off the deep end. you mean nothing was done to this person, yes im all for helping you. is your daughter,doing ok . i hope she is. my heart gose out to you and your family. i have 3 girls and if this happened to my girls god help the person who did this. i wish you luckand prayers. i hope this was helpful?

I would contact the principal, state the facts and hopefully show a picture of your daughters missing hair. I would then ask what will be done about the situation within the next week. If the principal hems and haws and says it will take more time then state " One week or I will contact...chose a newspaper or TV station to discuss what is going on. Unfortunately, I do no not think a peaceful protest is going to solve your problem. Speak up for your child and demand action.

its bad that the staff and principals do nothing about bullys. my daughter is picked on all the time and the school dose nothing about it this needs to stop before someone like your daughter gets hurt again .im so sorry about your daughter,how is she

I have some what the same problem and my child is a special needs child with some handicapped problems with his legs. I and my husband raised hell until they did something. The boys were eventually suspended. Now it is a new year and another bully has made him a target. Im determined to raise hell again and my son also took karate classes and we will be signing him up again. She can't just take it they will never stop and see your daughter as a target. I personally would rather my child fight back and get suspended along with the bully, than come home crying and scared to return to school which is where I am at now.

It is sad we have bullies in school,and most of the teachers and staff know these bad kids,but nothings done about them.I use to tell my kids avoid them,tell a teacher,but when the teacher not looking the bad kids just keep picking and sometime hit my kids.my kids would come home crying and hurt everyday.my kids tried there best to go to school and be good.IT DID NOT WORK WITH MY KIDS NOT HITTING BACK AND KEEPING THEIR MOUTH SHUT AND JUST LETTING THESE KIDS MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY ABUSE THEM.they got tired of it and so did I.I was a non-working parent at the time so I saved up my money and sent my kids to a defense class.when my kids had to fight they got suspended with the bad child.I showed my child much love and told them not to worry and we celebrated at their favorite resturant.I got with my kids teacher and pick up their school work so they would not be behind when they got back in school.
when the kids knew that my kids could fight they left my kids alone.
I say to any parent out their your kids go threw a lot in school.most of the time they are scare to let you know as a parent.some kids will tell.don't be hard on them,help them learn how to defend themselves and treat them if you know you have good kids if they have to fight in defense.

It does help if you give them the tools and self confidence. Self defense class!!

That is the way it works in any society,,and it
does work....I congratulate you on raising a strong child and a stand up adult. Support yor children when they DEFEND themselves. They are doing something praise worthy.

well i have a child that finnaly stood up for himself and fought back and got suspended i dont know what to tell my child . they get in trouble if they try to defend themselfs or get hurt if they dont what to do????

well that sounds like a great plan. LOL. I still say that kids bully because there is something going on at home. Kids are not born bullies, at least that is my personal believe. I think parents should be punished too if their child is bullying. Take a parenting class or attend an anti bullying seminar, law suit. There should be consequences for parents that are raising bullies.

well thank you. I think we all agree that something needs to change in our kid's schools in regards to bullying. My best friends son fought back against another boy grabbing his private parts on the bus and the outcome was that her son got into trouble instead of the bully. That is why I am hesitant to teach my kids to use fighting back physically as their first choice. It is mo doubt a difficult issue and it all comes back to the parents of the bullies. Which by the way I am still waiting to hear from any of those parents. Luckily at my daughters school it is taken seriously but not at my son's elementary school. I asked my sons therapist to come and talk at our school about bullying and the damage it does to the victims. It is something. Not sure if it will help but we have to do something to change this trend of fighting and taping of and plastering it all over YouTube. Anyways , for now I will keep my presence at school and stay on touch with the guidance counselor and encourage my son to talk to her when he has any problems.

I just replied to you and the entire column disappeared
when I re-read your post.
I will get back with you later.
Actually we are only talking about kids feeling free to defend themselves when they are struck and no one else is around. Not when they are being verbally teased.
That's what confused me - you actually agree that's
what should be done when a child is in true physical danger.
The zero tolerance prevents a lot of kids from doing just that; they are more afraid of the academic or parental repercussions than the bullies themselves.
We cannot be raising a generation of children that will not defend themselves.
Anyway; I do not engage in any type of bullying;
If you perceived it as such; I am proud you responded as you did.
I went to school for seven years in Frankfurt am Main
and only got thrown out once when I was eight.
Pulling a boy off of another whose head he had stuck in a toilet while others were just watching.
Have to take my kids to school...the best to you.

Oh and I also disagree that zero tolerance should only be reserved for drugs! Elementary school kids usually don't do drugs and bullying starts as soon as they start going to school. So, yes there should be a zero tolerance policy enforced for bullying. I really would like to know how you explain to a 7 year old when to hit and when not to. I know my son would take it as a permission to hit because some one said something he didn't like. And growing up in Europe , where teaching children violence is just not done , me and my kids have been able to handle a sexual harassment incident in the 6th grade with my daughter and bullying where my 7 year old son was the victim.And if more parents would be aware what their kids are doing in school and actually pay attention we wouldn't have all these angry kids in our schools letting their home stress out on other children at school. I see no one that has a bullying child stepped forward ......

to kidsfirst!!
wow,pretty harsh. I grew up in Germany and since I have red hair I got teased and bullied a lot. You don't know me. No, I don't lay down when I feel in danger. My point was that if every kid that feels bullied strikes the aggressor we will just have a free for all in our schools hallways. I am not stupid, I know our children need someone to advocate for them and they need the tools to stand up against bullies. I tell my children that if they feel that they are truely in physical danger to fight back. But how does a first or second grader, like my son, know when to hit and when not to. I teach them , again, to tell an adult immediately or go to the guidance counselor and I will handle it. Of course our children have every right to go to school and be treated with respect but they also can't go to work when they are grownups and beat up everybody that says something they don't like. So, again, I didn't grow up in a monastery and I have never in my life been in a physical fight because my parents talked to me about other ways to deal with a bully.My biggest complaint is where are the teachers when all this is going on? You raise your children the way you seem fit and I raise mine the way I seem fit. Without violance unless they feel physically threatened and have exhausted all other things, like walking away, telling an adult, telling your parents so they can talk to the principal and the bullies parents. I sure am glad I grew up in Europe and was raised the way I was. And by the way, my children had to deal with bullying and they followed my advice and it all stopped!! The more reaction the bully gets out of your child the more of a target your child will be. Ok, I am getting really mad because I feel like you verbally bullied me with your totally out of line comment to me.

to isch:
Any person has the right to defend themselves.
A person /child that is sustaining physical harm and awaiting help from someone else while allowing themselves to be beaten; can be severely harmed in the interim period before a caretaker responds.
The first right is to stop the aggressor.
That creates the term defendant; who should
stop defending upon being out of danger.
Compare the street you walk down to a hallway;
your aggressor has picked their time & target.
You are being beaten upon and who knows what is to follow...You have right to fight for your health and life and to get on a safe part of the street. I guess you would recommend screaming until you cannot and then feeling good about not hitting back and defending yourself; if you make it to a hospital and if you live.
A lot of people die while calling 911
Our children get their phones taken away from them in
school, they have to rely upon what their parents have instilled in them when away from home. They are out there alone...Do you get that? Alone...till someone arrives.
Getting back to you in distress in the street:
If you did sustain serious injuries your life may not be as much fun as before. But you did not hit back.....
GOOD for you; not the rest of society.
I wouldn't want you around if someone attacked me or my child or anyone; for that matter
I would want to be around if the situation was reversed
and you needed help; I would help you; I don't care what the policy is or what country we're in.
Put that situation in a hallway where one kid is beating the heck out of another; others are watching. No one
responds because of a zero tolerance rule. Any two or
or more can stop the violence...not if they will get
in trouble for it though..right?
You actually have a problem with a child that strikes back when hit upon when a teacher is not around to immediately stop the harm ?
Where and how did you grow up ?
I would say a monastery; but we've already seen what
monstrosities can be created when the natural human
organism's instincts are suppressed.
May be you should look into the origins of this or any
other society; and amazingly ,if you ever are in a
situation where you need to defend yourself; your
natural instinct for self survival will take over and
try to live at all costs.
That is unless it has been so severely suppressed that you just lie down and go into shock.
Zero tolerance is perfect for the possession of drugs!
No excuse.
Zero tolerance; teaching our children
" it is BAD to fight back" when you are attacked
is not for the world we live in.
I am all for a perfect world....when the humans
who can accept such get here.

actually, my son did fight back and got the kid. He went behin the bully when he was at his locker and banged his head. he has not come after my son again. This bully says rude comments but that is it. I don't like when he hits someone but he must do it to defend himself. The schools today let bullies get away with alot. With our society th way it is they fear kids who are bullies more. That is why us parents must get together with others parents and speak up together . Once we stand together the can't ignore us. The police sit up at the middle/high school but this still happens. Find other parents and go to the superintendent.

The only way to truly gain their attention is through a lawyer. By citing times of the pre-attacked and with whom you spoke and after the attack as well. Naming all of the above not just by category but individually. This was a crime not a verbal bulling techniques but a crime. against her civil rights. A premeditated attack. that can show plan willfulness and execution of said plan. Sue for not only failures to act and emotion distress along with any doctors & lawyers expense. Now that will get some I eyes open. Of, course the parents of the child as well. Have a restraining order put on the child that did this as well. It is a shame it would have to come to this but if this person gets away with this what will they do next time?

So hitting back it the solution. I disagree. It will make the kid hitting back just like the aggressor. You don't solve violence with violence. Not only that but your kid will be in trouble too, since there is a zero tolerance policy n most schools for fighting. I think education and giving our kids tools that don't include violence and having someone at school they can go to , if bullied. A guidance counselor, student support person, principal and so on. I know we can't expect to let our kids just stand there and take it , but I encourage my children to stay away from kids that are trouble makers and know when to tell someone of authority.
Where are the teachers when the pencils become weapons? I guess it boils down to one thing. Children learn things by example. So if the parents are bullying each other on a daily basis, that child will think this is how he/she is supposed to act. And unfortunately we can not fix everyone's home dynamics. But i still stick to the fact that not enough is being done in our kid's schools to put an end to bullying. And that, together, we might be able to change. Yeah, I know.......trying to think positive here.

From the VP's previous comment: you should already be filing charges. You will need witnesses, and if any harm is apparent to your child-
document such by photo now.
Pencils are fast becoming weapons of choice in schools.
They can be deadly- quite a few Martial Art disciplines
teach them as weapons of choice and kids see this on TV and Video. They can kill or maim.
It is our obligation to teach our children to defend
themselves. When the Caretakers do not protect
your child from danger, your child must act.
If they suspend him for self defense....
Media time.....
And you should enjoy his time off by letting him know self-defense is a human necessity. And you are proud of him.
Isn't that somewhere in the beginning of our Constitution..and somewhere in The Bill of Rights?
Will this do?
Talk your way away
Walk away
If you have to- run away from the aggressor for now
If you cannot do the above- and you are in danger;
get away any way you can!
that includes hitting back, fast and severely.

I want to hear from the parents of these bullies!!!!! Tell us why your child feels the need to bully. Obviously there is something in your family dynamics that is not good for your child. Why should we and out children suffer because you are not teaching your children how to respect others? Grrrrrrrr...........So, if you have a child that has been caught bullying, I want to hear from you!!!! What have you done to get your child to stop bullying innocent children? Or do you just don't give a hoot because it is not your child getting his head slammed in the locker? Why are there so many parents not educating their kids on bullying and cyber bullying ? I feel so bad for all your children, and my son, as he has been victim of bullying and was not taken serious when he brought it to the teachers attention. So , again parents of bullies, tell us what YOU are doing to stop it!

Last year, a boy, a big trouble maker since 2nd grade,
said asexually rude gester to a girl. They were in sixth grade with my son. Because of all the trouble he got into, they suspended him for a month. When he came back, my son included, the kids didn't want him back. Myself and other parents went up to school and complained. A week later the kid transfered out to a vocational school. This kid is no longer in school but my son and his friends still have about 5 more bullies just like this one. Right now, I am dealing with a kid who slams my sons head into a locker. I have to go up to the school monday to discuss the matter with the superintendent of schools. Keep on top of the school for stronger disaplin actions. the more parentson your side the beter.

Oh my god, I can't believe this. My daughter was sexually harassed in the lunch room last year and the kid got 1 day OSS. I wasn't happy with just one day but he hasn't talked to her since. The police wouldn't take a report? It is assault and that is punishable by law. I would keep calling your local police till they file a report and hold the perpetrator responsible for his actions. What about the bullies parents? This is just terrible and yes you should protest. Hey, have you thought about going to your local media? Schools don't want to be on the news for dropping the ball.
I really hope that you can get this resolved and your child can enjoy school without being afraid of being bullied.

Thanks for your response, I am going to press charges, but I had to get my kid back on track with school. I just found out that we now have video cameras in school hallways. I will respond back when I go to the school superintendent.

The VP of your school is an idiot and has no place around children if that is their attitude. Your child does not have to put up with that and has every right to go running to anybody he feels can help him. My advice to you...file charges against the student that assaulted your child and go way over the VP's head and file a complaint against him/her. Start making a paper trail. Go to the media...make noise. Also, I hope your child is ok and put him in a defense class asap!

weigmans...

If your school has a zero tolerance policy than the student that did that to your son should have been expelled. Was he?

From the VP's previous comment: you should already be filing charges. You will need witnesses, and if any harm is apparent to your child-
document such by photo now.
Pencils are fast becoming weapons of choice in schools.
They can be deadly- quite a few Martial Art disciplines
teach them as weapons of choice and kids see this on TV and Video. They can kill or maim.
It is our obligation to teach our children to defend
themselves. When the Caretakers do not protect
your child from danger, your child must act.
If they suspend him for self defense....
Media time.....
And you should enjoy his time off by letting him know self-defense is a human necessity. And you are proud of him.
Isn't that somewhere in the beginning of our Constitution..and somewhere in The Bill of Rights?
Will this do?
Talk your way away
Walk away
If you have to- run away from the aggressor for now
If you cannot do the above- and you are in danger;
get away any way you can!
that includes hitting back, fast and severely.

MY SON IS IN 7TH GRADE, HE GO PUNCHED IN THE FACE, HEA SLAMED INTO A LOCKER, AND WAS STABBED WITH A PENCIL. THE VP SAID MY SON HAS TO DEAL WITH THIS AND NOT COME RUNNING TO ME. BUT HE CAN'T HIT BACK ZERO TOLERANCE. I TOLD THE VP IF NOTHING GETS DONE I WILL PRESS FULL CHARGES WITH THE POLICE.

Obviously this was not a response toJborge's complaint
which I have a totally different attitude about...
More of an approval of sonora's post

re: sonora idea
I suggested to the principal (female) to put a banner
"Bully of the WeeK"
Next to the blue ribbon award;
intending to put the limelight on the hidden issues.
She responded : " We are not going to reward bullies by giving them that type of recognition". I know the kid in question would be hunted down by the upper graders if they were aware of who the middle school tyrant is. They have younger sister and brothers in the school The teachers do not even like his name mentioned in e-mails. I think they should be advertised weekly on the video monitor and other wise.
I do have to say in regards to particular incidents; ie: threats of rape and killing; repeatedly by an eleven yr.old boy. The principal did respond after receiving hard copy complaints, e-mailing it to her and superiors and being by her office before she arrived. But she
had to investigate the validity of the complaint and meanwhile more verbal abuse took place until it accelerated into more threats and actual physical contact; there is a cop at the school full time
He was not informed of the issue until the principal completed her investigation; which opened a beesnest
of abuse by this kid and his mentor.
All the kids knew, the teachers of the previous year knew, did the principal know ? She said NO.
After talking to her eight witnesses she acted.
Due to child confidentiality clauses; no one knows
what action was taken. The kid is back in school harassing his new partner.
Another girl; they like to sit: girl/boy/girl infinitum;
another boy his size may be all that is needed.
Sometimes the most simple answers can solve the ingress of serious problems signaled by premeditated
verbal intent.
Would a banner revealing who to watch out for really be A reward? or a Deterrent?
I WOULD RATHER SEE A BANNER THAN A MEDIA BLITZ.
The principal would not survive the latter...

Well, as someone who has known people in the media (journalists, writers, reporters, photographers), I'd say more people should contact the media and get the word out about schools that tolerate bullying. I could also go into why I think we are a nation that tolerates (and even glorifies bullying) but that would get political very fast! It's time for schools to get some bad press when they aren't protecting our kids. Do you ever notice the picketing employees with huge banners out in front of corporate offices that have done something "unethical"? Well, maybe it's time for parents to do the same. Schools are increasingly concerned about their image (those obnoxious banners touting them as "excelling" or "highly performing" out front)...ever wonder how they'd feel if half a dozen parents raised up a banner about tolerating violence, harrassment and bullying? Things that make you go hmmmmmm.

lawddd... we have another one of these discussions going on.

All seriousness... this is a BIG issue in most schools. You have a lot of kids that want to be Mr. or Ms. cool big and bad... Some of the teachers are afraid of these kids as well. It has to end. I'm one of those parents who would be right up in the principals office making a scene. Somebody at this school is going to do something (if another child was bullying and hitting on my child) I'm not having it. NO WAY!!

Where's the camera's? Sounds Political.

I had the same situation, but no physical contact was displayed. My child was in the 7th grade and bullied by verbal taunts such as calling the child's name, tapping on the shoulder. My child asked him to stop. He didn't stop. The teacher's at school were well aware at it. During school meetings discussions this child's name came up, the teacher said it was under control. The administrators were made well aware of the situation, but the other student was never formally reprimanded. But the school was aware. In the 8th grade, the child was in gym class, and kept calling his name and when my child turned around, he pretended not to do anything. Then my child said something that wasn't supposed to be said, the the bully got scared and filed a complaint and my child was suspended for a week. There was another student a girl, who did not like my child, she accused my child of stalking her when they had to walk in the same direction and she complained to the staff that my child was too close to her, Nothing came about this in the 7th grade, but she overheard the other kid make a complaint, and then the school thought there was threat made, so they decided to suspend my child, and said my child was a threat to society when the kids were told to knock it off, but funny though if the child was a threat, they put my child on the bus boing to home, and we were notified 4 hours later after the school bus took my child to an after school activity that is attended on Thursdays. I would think that if there was a threat, the parents should have been called immediately and the child be removed from the premises, until it could be determined that everyting was ok.

Oh, I'm with you on the speaking up bit. SOMEONE has to stand up. Unfortunately, with everyone thinking this way the likelihood of NO ONE standing up is greater.

As for our situation, we haven't been totally abandoned. There are others who have let us know "under the radar" of the bully's family that they support us.

I am trying to give them credit for this even though I, myself, have had more courage to stand beside those who stand up for what is right.

As of this week I am seeing signs that, while not perfect, things will eventually get back to some semblance of normalcy. The bully has let the cat out of the bag that her mission is to make my daughter's life miserable. The fact that she hasn't been able to so far has caused her to act up at the wrong times.

RedFrog

I'm really not an expert on bullying. But I do know that some unscrupulous people count on others being afraid to speak up. Someone has to start it. Someone has to be the first to stick their neck out.

But everyone has to make their own decisions on what to risk. If the bully is a member of an influential group or family that protects themselves by more bullying, well then, maybe you need to evaluate your membership in such a community. It may seem drastic to consider moving, but if you've tried every other recourse, you have to consider the safety of your children.

You give sound advice. Unfortunately, when you are faced with a narcissistic parent and child, many families decide that stepping out of the way is best. This leaves unsuspecting families to deal with the bully and it goes on and on. All these "good" families of the "community" we are part of have abandoned us. They are too ashamed to look us in the eye knowing what they've done but not ashamed enough to step up and offer support.

You wrote:
See if the school with do a "non-contact" order (much like a restraining order) for the vicious student who attacked your child. I did this for a girl who was stalking my son. I take him to and from school, as the order does not stand on the bus, only while in school and on school grounds.

If you have a moment check out bullyoffline dot org's section on school bullying. I'm attempting to solve some issues on and off schoolgrounds so this section stood out for me:

"My child is bullied on the way to and from school but the school say it's not their problem
Some schools have a policy that the safety of pupils (especially in relation to assault, harassment and bullying) is the school's responsibility until the child reaches home. Unfortunately not all schools are this enlightened or motivated. In some cases local education authorities have argued successfully in court that they are not responsible for what happens outside the school gates. However,
1) children have a legal obligation to attend school, therefore is it not a choice, and local education authorities will prosecute children and parents for non-attendance;"

Hope that helps you in some way.

The front office of my kids school knows that if my child is touched for any reason, i am to be called immediately. Not after school, or whenever they get to it. If my kid was being harrassed I would frst request that the harrassers parent be called for a discussion. if it continued, then the child would need to be suspended. if the kid touches your kid, then it is time to press charges. As an adult, if i ripped someones hair out, I would be arressted. Kids need to know that they can't go around beating on people and ripping hair out. Also, make sure you document everything and leave paper trails. Also, read your schools handbook carefully and know the bullying/fighting consequences and know them by heart. Schools have rules to follow, sounds like the school your kid is going to isn't doing it's job.

They have self defense classes,I would send my child to the class,I would also put the school Insurance on my child,I would prepare my child for combat,so when this child or any other child bother her she can be able to take care of herself without the school staff help,the police help,or the courts help,the only help the other child will need is a Dr.help.lol then we will see who has the last laugh,and the staff,and police,can contiue doing nothing to my child,because THE BIBLE SAY YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW,and that bulley in my opinon just reap what she sow,and I would let all the adults that was notified just be glad the other child could see a Dr. and time will heal her instead of seeing a morg,or lying in a cast for life.I will not tolerate nobody bullying,attacking,or harrassing my child.sorry to say this but a bully can be put to rest for ever for self defense.

I would remove my daughter immediately from that school and I would probably press charges, after a long talk with my daughter. I would also consider suing the parents of the child(ren) involved for any medical bills. I would also consider going after the school, after meeting with a lawyer. But first I would protect my child and remove her immediately.

Melissa

It is different strokes for different folks,in my family I tell my kids don't start the fight,but if someone hit you tell a teacher if you can and let them solve the problem,but if you can't get to a staff adult person and the person is hurting you,you better kick but and may the best child win.even the law say you can defend yourself,it's called self defense and even tho my child get suspended I tell them don't worry mom and dad understand and you had to do what you had to do to protect your self,so enjoy your days home.

At the school my son goes to, if someone starts a fight with another kid, the kid being attacked is suppost to curl up in the fetal position. That is excactly what it said inside his handbook. It also said that if the student retaliates then both students will recieve severe punishment. I really dont think that is fair... to just sit there and have to take it... for how long? Until teachers arrive?

To angleflying this is not the topic we are talking about on this page.this is school bulling,attacks,and harrassing.

To Anonymous you wrote the right thing,about sueing the parents.I agree with you and I bet the kid will stop bullying other kids.MONEY TALKS.

have you thought of filing a suit against the bully's parents if you have truley done EVERYTHING and it's continuing, I wouldn't hesitate to do that. Hitting people in the checkbook can stop them dead in their tracks sometimes.

Every year I put my children on the school ins.and if they get hurt I tell the school to call a ambulance and I meet my child at the hospital and everything is on the school and when I say everything I mean everything my child need,my child gets.because the school suppose to make sure your children are safe all the time they are in school,to and from school on the bus,so I tell every parent if you want to make sure your child is safe put the school ins. on them,and use it if you have to.

I know about the school system they stick together whether they are right or wrong.I've had some bumps with the schools.Do you all know my son was in the 2nd or 3rd grade in a play at school and the teacher told my son to jump off the aditorium stand in the play,my son did it and broke his foot,do you all know their was not one lawyer would take my case,and the school did nothing about it.they acted like nothing happen.I let this one slide,then I got smart and start paying for school insurance every year,and everytime my son got hurt at school,trust me they paid big time.

I'ts really SAD :( that our kids our future is being destroyed right at SCHOOL and it's noone who want to point any fingers or fire any staff who fail our kids PROTECTION.....I have noone beside GOD in my corner keep PRAYING it changes things
best of luck to you and yours

ladycordellea again.. from the Pennsville School District

My daughter was involved in bad situation in school 6th grade middle school. A girl who was her best friend.. had been threatening her, cussing and so on over the course of the past two weeks. During class in the morning, the girl was saying nasty things to the girl sitting next to her about my daughter. My daughter who was sitting in arms length looked over and said to the girl " If you have something to say to me, say it out loud. The girl put her middle finger in my daughter's face and then struck her face. My daughter punched this girl out of self defense. The girl then kicked my daughter in the stomach and my daughter puched her again. No administration was present and students broke it up. The principals of the school decided it's appropriate to suspend my daughter for one day and give the other girl a Saturday detention. I feel this is unjust and unfair. Both girls deserve equal punishment in my opinion.

I really appreciate the offer but I am in WV. Maybe a letter writing campaign or something.
Just thought of that.
I am so happy to have found this group and rejoice in the fact that there are people out there with the same concerns that I have. I have told the parents here that their children can also be treated this way and that they really need to get involved but the retaliation is so bad that they are scared. It was stated in the last hearing in front of the elected board members by the principal that had I not been coming to the school, my son would have not been expelled from the basketball team. His coach did what he could and even handed in his resignation, showed up for the meeting but was not allowed to talk. If you oppose them they will make your children's lives terrible. It is appalling what they get by with. My mouth dropped open when that principal made that comment but he was so mad he did not realize what he had said.
That was not even brought up in my appeal. I am going to state board.
Thank you again for your offer and please let me know if you think of anything else. best wishes to you and yours.

I'M WILLING TO SET A TIME AND PLACE FOR ALL THE PARENTS TO MEET...IM IN MIAMI WHERE ARE YOU ? MAYBE WE AS PARENTS CAN GET SOMETHING DONE ! ASAP !!!

I'm so sorry,you need to get the police involve,also
other parents who are haveing the same problems
you need to protest against the school for not protecting the kids against bullying

We will be praying for you, we also go in on Monday to speak with the Police cheif and if they don't fix this issue we will be calling our lawyer and the news crews to do a report on our school distric that let these bullies run the school. Good thing we know people in high places!!!

This school or the BOE does not agree. It is a whole family and although I have taken all the steps except
for a lawyer but this is such a small town. I am have the step 4 hearing with the state boe. This has gone on for over 9 months as this was the family of his now ex girlfriend, but it still has not stopped. I have changed his phone number. set limits on who can call and they call the new girl, crossed the state lines to start a problem at this girls house, he was so upset as he was there and they knew it that he wrecked his car. It's so bad. I have filed police reports, talked to the magistrate, pa, everyone.
He received a ltr from Cornell University for football but then after receiving his info they sent a "no thank you" ltr. Just like he said it is ruining his life. I am open to any suggestions but am going to see a lawyer.
They use student witnesses and dont see the problem with this. the admistration takes no responsibility for this. They have a booklet they have made on my son and I feel he has been targeted by the administration. It was actually said that if I would not have been coming to the school that my son would have not been expelled from the basketball team. I am an involved parent, help in the concession stand, feed the teams, support all the kids and check on my son's grades, reports , homework and such. I am not abrasive but do want to know why they have done this to him. He is an excellent athlete, has alot to contribute and feel that the politics with other parents and such have alot to do with this. It is just sickening.

I would contact an attorney about this. My son also attends Deerfield Middle and has dealt with a great deal of bullying and abuse from a boy who harrasses ALOT of children. The school should expell him but they dont. It will just get worse if it is not dealt with. I wouls also file a restraining order for your child against contact with that child. The school has responsibility to deal with the protection of our children when we are not present. MAKE THEM LIABLE!!!!!!!

OMG !!!!!....I'm so SORRY ...WE and OUR CHILDREN NEED TO BE HEARD !!!! I'M FOR ANY PROTESTING AGAINST THE SCHOOL BOARD !!! ONE PARENT IS REALLY CONSIDERED A TROUBLE MAKER WE NEED TO EXSPOED THE SCHOOLS AND THERE POOR POOR CONCERNS !!! I WISH YOU AND YOUR CHILD LUCK ! and tell your child to be STRONG dont give up SOMEONE OUT THERE CARE BESIDES US PARENTS !

My son was threatened by the adult father of the boy that after 2 weeks of invites to fight, kicked him in the head while he was seated eating his lunch. There was a cop and teachers in the caf but no one came to his aid. when he pulled the kid off his back because he was karate chopping my son and my son tried to hold him down, my son did hit him only in self defense. This kid is training in martial arts but the school gave my son a 3 day suspension. after that he was attacked again after being cornered inside a classroom by the cousin of this child and when the teacher told the student to allow my son to come out of the classroom she would not step aside. when the teacher moved her she attacked my son from behind and hit him several times in the head. after that another cousin, one to which my son was dating made an accusation that he spit on her but even though there were teachers and the vice principal present and state they did not see anything, he was suspended for 5 days and then expelled from the basketball team. after returning to school he was then suspended again for accidentally pulling out in front of a school bus. this is one of their stories as the had to cover up their mistake. It is the school and the school board. Justice is not for the bully.
Penalties are different depending on who you are. I am going to state board. wish me luck

This has been going on all year for my daughter and yes it sure seams that none of the people that can do something about this care. We also have reported all issues and my daughter was threated again today. She went to the principal and a teacher to let them know what was goining on, just as they asked her to do. I did not get a phone call to let me know what was going on nor did she have someone walk her to the bus where the girls where to attack her. She was able to get on the bus before they got to her. At this point we have made a appointment with the superintendent of splendors schools to let him know the proplem and to remove our daughter from their school. We will also are talking to a laywer about a law suite.

Although ficiton, the book "Bullyville" by Francine Prose accurately describes a common bullying situation, and some good responses to bullying. Written for young (middle school?) readers.

Getting the parents involved did help my situation too. Although it was only an "attempt" to attack my daughter, I was able to stop it b4 it elevated (thank God).

Kids these days huh? Very scary to think about what our future holds!

I had a similar problem with my seventh grade son and I requested a meeting with the principal, superintendant, my son, the children involved and their parents..from this the children were suspended for 2 weeks and I told the parents of these other kids that I was filing a police report but would not pursue it thids time but if their children did not completely leave my son alone that my husband and I had already contacted a lawyer (bluff) and would pursue further action if need be. That was 7 months ago and they have not said a word to him since. He was attacked on the bus..they were punching him in the private areas pulling his hair and shoving balled garbage from the bus fllor in his mouth so he could not scream. They had him in the seat out of view of the bus driver.

I know exactly what you mean! I've talked to teachers,The principal,The superintendent,And made police reports,I had a meeting with school personnel's, police,and other parents who's kids were also victim to this Bully at our school(who's parents were at this meeting and made the excuses you know teenagers their just so angry all the time about everything,but they eventually grow out of it.)Some parents have hired lawyers,we've talked to our school board.And yet my son still is attacked he had his arm and nose broke and we were still ignored when we wanted his parents to pay our child's medical cost.So we are getting advised of what our rights and options are at this point.My son is terrified to go to school this bully
set 's right behind him in all but two of his classes and the school's is refusing to move my son's seating arrangement,saying that it will not fix the problem.But neither does there talks to his parents or him.Teachers that talked to us said this is a daily problem with this bully with about 6 kids total being his victims but what can you do even bullies have a right to education,And expelling him wont fix his problem it just delays his education.In other words there not going to do anything about this they just talk of this bully's education.What about the ones missing school to be patched up again because of him!Aren't they intitled to a education as well without risking there safety? The school has stopped calling me back or taken my call on this subject.

Your right about the brain it's been proven that the brain does not stp developing and mature till the age of 25.Thats why they say young will make dumb regrettable mistakes.Lord knows I did.

Local school boards DO NOT help. (as I am sure you've found out). I was warned about this recently, thought I'd give it a go anyways. It was, in fact, true. What happens in school is usually shielded by that district.

It doesn't hurt to file all the incident reports with all, then turn it up a notch by filing a police report. Children (in most states) can have charges against them as early as 11 years of age.
This IS more important then the reports at the school level!!!

See if the school with do a "non-contact" order (much like a restraining order) for the vicious student who attacked your child. I did this for a girl who was stalking my son. I take him to and from school, as the order does not stand on the bus, only while in school and on school grounds.

I was advised (by my lawyer and police) against a proper restraining order, as it was suggested that the family might file a counter and so on, and so..on that it would go round for round.

I thought about looking for another school many times . However that doesn't solve any problems that only give the bullies a chance to make life harder for another child . And the staff another chance to do NOTHING !!! I'm looking to get JUSTICE . My child only wants to LEARN and feel safe in school !!!

I thank everyone for there concerns and I'm really at a loss for words to know that theres other children out there that has to SUFFER ! I'm willing to join any GROUPS, PROTEST when it comes to our children safety . Remembering our KIDS are our FUTURE !

I have had the same problem and worse. Laws do protect you and and your family, but you have to be willing to fight!!! My fight is not over, the children are being hurt in many ways. The Administration has to be held responsible. I hope to start the campaign for all kids not just mine..

Hi, I would honstly say I would look for a new school. I always have said to myself that saftey comes first. It is sad that the administration of the school has let you and your child down. I would then write a letter to the school board as well as to the state department for education.

As you may be aware, last year the Supreme Court ruled in favor of the plaintiff in a case against the Toms River School District in NJ. This was a case where all administration had been advised of constant bullying and did not take enough action to correct it. As a result, while the case was still in litigation, many schools adopted a zero tolerance for bullying. A few key questions I would ask: how are punishments escalated for bullying when it continues? Most schools are obligated to escalate punishment for each offense. It does include expulsion. Secondly, how has the school considered the Toms River case when developing its policy? This usually gets their attention and lets them know you are aware. Lastly, I make sure they hear me. I do not scream. I simply make a personal visit to the office. If they are busy, I wait. I did this on a day of standardized testing and told them my son would wait with me so that he can tell his account of the event. This gets them to move since these tests are how they are assessed.
Don't be afraid to use the "L" word if they do not respond. You know, it's LAWYER. Again, in light of recent cases, they do not want that to happen. Even if they think you are exaggerating, they should create a situation where these kids do not have access to your child. I believe that is the overall goal, to make school safe for your child.
I have worked in schools as a psychologist and can assure you that bullying is serious. It is common in middle schools. Schools that are on the ball, react quickly and swiftly. Good luck.

Wow, you went thru all those people & they're not doing anything? Is there any way you can speak to that childs parents? I know that may be a long shot, but that helped nip it in the bud in my/our situation.

My daughter was being harrassed/bullied by an ex-friend of hers. I met witht he after school program administration, they spoke to the childs parents & the pestering has stopped.

Good luck & keep us posted! This would be goot to know if in case the situation comes up again. ;-)

Go to family support network of the foothills they may be able to help www.fsnnc.osrg of 800-852-0042also, www.ncpublicschools.org hope this helps

I had/have this same concern. I went to the pricipal, the bus driver's supervisor (happens there too), and the school board. No one did anything. I finally had to write a detailed letter of my complaint to our superintendant and state superintendant. Remember the school board isn't the last step. Someone will care that your child is being attacked.

Thank You for concrens

I would go over the principal's head & to the school board or school superintendent. I know if it was my child, I would try every possible angle I could to get justice for him/her. Good Luck!

www.schwablearning.org/message_boards/view_discussion.aspx?thread=26173
This link is from schwab board that GS recently took over. Hopefully it will help. Please serch the rest of the board for bullying. There is alot of information.
books.google.ca/books?id=krsowK_K9OgC&dq=inauthor:Barbara+inauthor:Coloroso
Aslo this book has alot of insight about Bullying. Its called The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander.

You've already got some good advice. i just want to add that sometimes a group of parents can get more respect and action than one. One parent can be labeled as a crank or troublemaker. If you can get a group together from the PTA to draft a petition or demand meetings about the issue, you're more likely to see action. It's likely that there are other children being bullied also. There might be many other parents who just need a pen placed in their hands to help effect change.

I hate MS. These kids brains are not ready for it. I read that the part of the brain(front) doesnt fully develope until close to 20's. That is the part that helps with right and wrong ect, I think by the time they get into hs they behave better. There harmones are not jumping all over the place. As far as bullying so cal gave you some good advice. What I would like to add is you need to teach your child to stand up fro his/herself. At this point its like they are a fish in a sea of sharks. If the bully knows he/she is getting to your child the bullying continues. The victim needs to standup for themselves. A good way to do this is to role play. go over some of the things the bully says to your child and come up with a quick comeback. If the bully pushes child child needs to push them back. Take some karate classes ect. But its important to empower your child to stand up to the bully so it will stop. Document all bullying so when your child needs to stand up fro themself it will be self defence.

Are you saying that your child has been physically attacked and that you have formally, in writing, notified the principal?

Did you take this child to the emergency room for evaluation and a formal medical report? Does this child need to see a doctor for physical or emotion injuries stemming from the attack?

Did you file a formal police report? Have you contacted your county's District Attorney's Office to file a complaint?

Did you notify the school board, in writing via certfied mail?

If you haven't pursued this steps, do so as soon as possible, after you remove your child from this highly dangerous situation. Then seek private legal counsel and representation.

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