When my husband and I found our son's school we thought we made the right choice. We did our homework, taking tours and asking questions etc,. We were told the school was predominately Hispanic, which was fine given that we lived in a predominately Hispanic neighborhood. However, we were told that there was diversity at the school and that our son would have no trouble fitting in and wouldn't feel uncomfortable. Our son dosen't deal with change well and he had behavioral issues so we were also told he was being paired with an excellent teacher who had experience but wasn't out of her depth with young children. They told us during enrollment that she was on maternity leave and would be back second week of school. We really wanted his first day to be with her but they keep going on about how wonderful she was, so we said okay, we'll wait for her. Almost a month goes by the whole time by son is complaining that no one looks like him (no Caucasian children on the play ground or in class except him) and that children wouldn't be friends because he didn't speak Spanish. Also no sign of this miracle teacher just one sub after another, all of which isn't helping my son cope very well, since all teachers have different teaching styles and expectations. We complained at the front office about being lied too (we were told the school was more diverse than it really was) and that his teacher had yet to appear. Well it went on like that all year long, my son struggled to make friends not only because of his personal issues but because he didn't speak Spanish and his teacher who finally showed up two months into the school year was chronically absent for the rest of they year. Needless to say my son did not repeat a second year at that school.

What a nightmare.

I grew up in a school district with phenomenal schools--great quality and beautiful grounds. A friend of mine even mistook my middle school for a cemetery. When my husband and I moved one Valley over, to a much more urban area, I was horrified by the asphalt and portable bungalows, not to mention the year round schedules and poor test scores. I found a nice school in a neighboring community (Los Angeles Unified had just started open enrollment) with very expensive homes. Most importantly to me, the school yard had grass.

Unfortunately, the school definitely treated open enrollment families differently, my son received a teacher who was within a year of retiring, team teaching with a younger teacher who moved to a full-time teaching position by mid year, leaving us with the woman who called my son "evil." Everything we did was wrong--choosing not to preschool, sending a November baby to school at 4, etc. At one point we asked for a conference and the teacher brought in the principal and started to give us parenting lessons. We were easily the youngest parents by quite a few years, but it was ridiculous. We managed to wait til the last couple of days of the school year, where they expected the kids to stand on the yard in the heat for 3 hours each day rehearsing songs for their kindergarten graduation. After hearing about another supposed disruption, we just opted to not come back.

We were living next door to the AP of the poor performing elementary school in our neighborhood, who convinced us to try that year round school for a year. We reluctantly tried, but every day there we were told "your son belongs in a magnet." And despite the perks the teachers told me about the year round schedule, it wasn't for us. Luckily for us, my son did get into the local gifted magnet, and he and our neighbor carpooled for the next few years.

It took three schools in three years to get it right, and even longer for my son to get over his fear of substitute teachers and to stop believing there was something wrong with him. His sister is 10 years younger than he is, and she benefited from our missteps with our son to get the right school the first time.

My dh and I researched a private school for two years before moving to another state so our child could attend this school. There were a few bumps in the beginning, but the second year an ethical issue arose that made us have a talk with the dean. He in turn gave us the tuition back and we laughed all the way to the bank. It was a blessing in disguise. I didn't want my child attending a school where the parents who donated the most money decided what the rules of the school would be. I do not want my child to attend a school where the dean can be bought. As time went on my son slowly started telling me other things that had happened that I wasn't aware of. One was his teacher throwing him against the wall into a corner for time out. It was a huge blessing in disguise and I'm so grateful he no longer attends this school.

I do. My 4 year old started Preschool this year. I sent him to our local public school. By the end of the first week his teacher said he was ADHD. I was shocked. This is a kid who loves to read, do puzzles. I have no problem getting him to sit and focus. So as a concerned parent. I took him to our doctor. After a LONG visit. My doctor said he shows no signs of ADHD. Give the kid a chance hes only 4. Sounds good to me. When I told the teacher, she looked at me like I was an idiot and so was my doctor. So needless to say I removed him. Put him in a private preschool. He has been there 3 weeks. He can spell his name, learning to write his name. The teacher said hes a delight, and has no more problems getting him to focus, than any other 4 year old. So what I have learned, You know whats best for your child. Follow your instincts! Dont let teachers bully you or your child. Stand up for them.

Kim, Brewster OH