Where to turn now? Teacher bully

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Can someone please help me? In a nut shell, my son is 9. He is in 4th grade. He is one of those sweet, super quiet, shy type. His teacher this year was so bad. This teacher had these kids doing 3 hours or more homework every night, weekends and holidays. Doing laps around the playground and basket ball court on both recesses, or more if someone in the class messed up. Telling them they were a "disappointment" and that they had to "redeem" themselves to him. These are words out of my son's mouth. He would break down and hideously cry if he forgot a paper or book. It got so bad he started asking me things like "if heaven is so good, why can't we go now". He was feeling sick all the time. He literally didn't want to get out of bed anymore. So, when we finally got him to open up and tell all. We set up a meeting with teacher and principal. Basically principal tried to say it was my son. I asked for new teacher. She denied this request. I asked for a tutor, she denied this request. I asked for testing, she said she and the teacher would talk with my son. Then decide what action would be best. Two months went by with nothing. I asked on two occasions if anything had been done and all I got was "we have been busy, we haven't had time." My son was not the only one with these issues. I know this 100% fact. One other family got treated differently due to the fact her mom had worked at the school for 20 years. My son kept getting worse so we finally pulled him out of school and have been home schooling the rest of this year. The day we pulled the kids out the secretary was so rude and loud to us that "we had good teachers". The whole school knows the teacher and Principal's side of the story. We finally got to see the superintendent. After three attempts of being told we could not see him, to deal with the principal. He was nice. He made my son feel a little better. We finally had a meeting with the school board. They all seemed nice and understanding. Here is my big problem. The only resolution they had was for us to give the school system there a "third chance" and send my children back to the school next year. My son literally flips out if we go to the school driveway. He is that scared of this teacher. He fears this teacher is going to come to our home. I can not with a clear conscious take my son back to that school with that teacher and principal there. I can't let my son be the "what if" kid. What if someone is mean to him. That kid can't take anymore of that. He has no self-esteem. I swear I could punch that teacher some days. We can't transfer to a different school, there is only one in the district. We can't afford a private school. We can't sell our home and move. I don't feel I am giving him what all he deserves and needs from my home schooling. He is up to par right now but what about next year or the next. I don't know what to do. I do wish however I had dealt with this situation sooner. I wish I had listened to my son when the first signs came. That is why now is so important. I can't make the wrong decision. Any advise. Thanks. Oh, did I mention the teacher is also one of the high school football coaches. Also, no attorney in the area will touch the case. They either have conflict of interest with the School or don't cover school lawsuits.

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Parent Replies to "Where to turn now? Teacher bully"

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Thank to all, I have went to the school board to discuses this situation and to make it notice, I let them know everything thst I could all about the superintendent and the principal.
The superintended was of course on the school board so I made her fill 2 feet tall, and the principal was also there if he had a tail, you know where that would be.. I'll know more next month, but then school is out in a week, but I'm sure next year will be different because they know now that I am not a parent that is going to sit back and watch them treat my son like he doesn't matter, little do they know he means the wold to me no matter what.. This will not stop till my son is treated like any other student in his class.
Thank you all for some great advice.

Thanks for taking the time to answer my questions. I wish I had advice on how to proceed from here. As a strong supporter of public education it saddens me to read stories like yours, but I know they exist.
Kudos for standing up for your son's rights and staying supportive of teachers in general!
Any ideas on what you will do next year? Any chance you could work with the principal NOW to help her place your son in the best class possible for next year? Do you know of any great 5th grade teachers at the school?
I am praying for the best for you and your son in the future. Keep us all posted! ((Hugs))

It was three months into the school year when we requested the new teacher. I spoke face to face with the teacher twice. When we spoke the second time and requested the new teacher the principal was doing most of the talking. She began suggesting maybe something was wrong with my son for it taking him 3 hours to do homework every night. (I know for 100% fact my son was not the only one taking this long) So, if she felt he was the one with the problem we asked for a tutor, she said "no, he doesn't qualify", so she had mentioned testing, so we requested testing. Nothing got done. It was always "we have been busy, we haven't had time." My son was NEVER a disipline problem. He went from really likeing this teacher to not even wanting to talk to him. As far as speaking about this in front of my son. We didn't. Part of the first problem was I was taking up this teacher's side saying you need to do this or get this done. Not knowing he was getting so much punishment at school. Not knowing he was being humiliated in the class or watching others get humiliated in class. So hence how he further felt this teacher was in the right. I do speak to him now about it. I tell him that he did the right thing. I tell him that he may have helped the other students whose parents didn't know. I was always raised to respect my elders and people in authorative positions, including teachers. I have raised my children with this same understanding. Even now, after all this. I still tell my son he has to respect the next teacher he gets. I tell him they are not all bad. I do however tell him this teacher was wrong. I try to use him as an example. Don't grow up to be like this sort of thing. I do love and care for my son more than anything. That is why I am trying to figure out what I can do other than send him right back into the same situation where a pricipal is in charge who would rather sweep things under the rug than to admit there is a issue and deal with it. Where a teacher who somehow has put so much fear into my son that (Dr. confirmed) he was having panic attacks. This teacher remains at this school. He has more rights than my son. He has been "worked with". Anyway, hope that answered some of your questions.

After reading your story, I'm still not clear why they wouldn't just move your son to another 4th grade class? When did you go to her with your concerns and ask for the move? I can understand if it was in the middle of the year and the move would be challenging into an already established class.

How many times times did you request/have a face to face conference with the teacher to try and resolve some of your son's issues? In my experience, if you let problems build up and then go in with guns blazing demanding to speak with the principal without ever conferencing with the teacher first...you don't get very far.

Why the requests for tutors and testing?

I'm also wondering if your son's anxiety is being fostered at home. How often do you negatively talk about the school/principal/teacher in front of him? He's only 9 and if you feed it with your opinions/feelings (which he is too young to understand) then he is taught that school/educators are bad...period.

Yes, I am in education and I like to play devil's advocate. I believe that the majority of administrators and educators are there to HELP kids...not damage them for life.

You wouldn't post this if you weren't a loving mom who cared about her son and wanted him to have the best education he deserves. I hope you know that I realize this. I just post the questions I do as a way to help you and others who may be struggling w/school issues think about the bigger picture too.

That is too bad that your son had to go through this, and what is worse is that he is terrified!
My son too has had some bad times at his school (Muncy) for the past two years. Last year his teacher told him (while my husband and I were present) that "he is just not a good speller", "can't comprehend math", and "is not a good reader". This ended up with my son believing he was stupid and he would have tantrums during homework sessions because he eventually believed that he could not do it! It was so sad because in Kindergarten he was a straight "A" student, top reader and mathmatition, and during the summer time he would practice his school work so he could be the best. After first grade my husband and I had to give him a lot of praise and lift his self esteem until he loved learning again and wanted to do his best.
Well, this year he stayed at the same school, and since my son stood up to himself a lot last year, he was labeled as "defiant" and "troublesome". Because of this, he is constantly in trouble for the stupidest things such as saying "crap" or "that's hecka cool" and he is constantly told that he has sloppy handwriting, doesn't write fast enough, and does not read fast enough. It is a lot of stress for a seven year old to be given so much criticism! So my husband and I are constantly fueling his self esteem so that he is not bogged down with all of the negativity! We tell the teacher that he works really well with positive feed back, but regardless, she tells him to work faster because "he is holding the rest of the class back". Not only that, but he misses recesses when work is not finished, or if she can not read it. My husband and I have been working with his writing (he is left handed) but once he starts writing fast, his writing gets really sloppy.
Outside of school, my son is well behaved wherever we go, and his school work is great outside of school as well (He got an "A" for homework on his report card) it is only in school that he has behavior problems, and issues with schoolwork.
So next year he will be going to a different school. The principle has practically begged us not to transfer, saying that "things will be better next year", but you know, he said that last year too....
Anyways, I am sorry that your family is going through this, and it is too bad that there is no other school that you can transfer him to. If he is that traumatized though, it would not be good for him to go back to that school.

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