I know the story! We are also going through this right now with my daughter who is in 4th grade. We live in Europe. It is difficult of course because the teacher denies this.

We met with the principal and are awaiting a meeting with the teacher as well. We asked for the principal to speak with our child about this and stated that she knows the teacher likes her and believes the teacher is doing this just for fun!! This makes me angry, I also read many articles and studies about these situations and these stated that often it referred to as being done just for fun. I do hope we put an end to this soon. Our child has 2 months of school left and then will attend another school. Let's not give up on these bullies! It is tiring to keep going but we must do it for the kids.

We had similar issues when my son started 4th grade. It's a big change from 3rd to 4th. Things are more serious and teachers expect a greater level of responsiblity from the students. My son had the bad luck of getting a very strict teacher who had a reputation of being a yeller. He was terrified and was often in tears. I started with the school counselor, whose job it was to mediate for the student. She first spoke individually with my son and then me. Then she set up a meeting between the teacher and my son. It did a world of good. The teacher became aware of how her classroom demeanor affected by child and my son became less afraid of her. She didn't stop being a strict teacher, but my son learned how to cope in her classroom and survived 4th grade.

I would encourage you to contact your school's counselor. I do think it's unacceptable that the teacher has been avoiding your attempts to meet with you. Document everything!

In response to the boy who is wanting to stay home once a week because of his teacher. Meet with your school psychologist. Tell him the affect the teacher is having on your son. It would be best if the student will verbalize to psychologist his anxiety caused by teacher. This is a definite area where a school psychologist can help mediate and actually come alongside a "teacher" to make them aware of the negative affect they are having on a child in the class. If this does not produce a result to your satisfaction, go down to the superintendents office and demand your child be moved to another class at another school immediately. Make the district (the adults in the situation and the education experts) deal with and solve the situation.

The teachers any reply to her behavior was I have 29
children in this class. I said to her. Who cares. This is
your job. At that point I asked her what made her think
she could seclude any one to that chalk board. She tried
to go to another subject. I told that she did not answer
my question. And the principle told the teacher to leave the room. I have written to the district supervisor about this matter. IF I don't recieve a
reply. I will contact a lawyer. To seclude anyone a not okay. By any means. Let alone a child who is not able
to defend their self against this type of behavior by
a teacher. I told my daughter if we don't protect the
children from this type of abuse. Who is going to. I
was okay speaking to the principle. But when I seen the position of the desk. I became furious. And I wanted to know why. At any point. There to no why
to place a child facing the chalk board for any length
of time. This is nothing more than child abuse silently
on the teachers part. And the principle could care less.
As a grandmother. I won't to quiet. My grandson and 2
other children are being mentally abused in that class
room.

I was reading the post by klacorrie and this was complete wrong from the teacher part. A teacher always have to inform a parent if their child is having any problems in class before acting this way, this way, parents will know and talk to their children regarding any behavior in class. I remembered when I was in 5th grade, when a student was misbehaving, she sent the student to a corner to stand for the whole class period. I understand that some kids are special, but it is very important first to speak to the parents if the teacher has any concerns regarding a student, I will be really upset if my child will be restrained from the classroom like klacorrie's grandson, without I not been notify first regarding any behaviour problem.

Today my daughter and myself(grandmother) went to
my grandson's school. He is in the 4th grade. He said
his desk was facing the chalk board. And has been for
2 weeks. Sure enough. We walked into the class room
with the principle. And there was his desk right up
next to the chalk broad. Facing away from the rest of the class. When the teacher teaches. Her back is to
him. As a grandmother and past social worker. I became furious. And told the principle that the desk
facing the chalk board was not okay. she went and
got the teacher. Who explained that she put his desk
there because he was talking in his group. I told her
that the position of the desk was not okay. Not just
for a 4th grader. But for anyone it was not okay. The
principle rushed the teacher out of the class room. i
think she was afraid the teacher would say the wrong
thing. There are two other desk of other students
facing away from the rest of the class. One faces a wall. The other facing a metal cabinet. I told the principle that if the desk were turned facing the class
that that would be fine. But not secluded facing the
chalk board,wall, or file cabinet. Facing away from
the class. Secluded is the key word here. A school
teacher can not seclude a student. the teacher did
not call my daughter about any of this. We did take
pictures of the position the the desks. After the
principle looked at it for awhile and seen how upset
we were about this she did get teary eyed and turned
the desks. I sat in his desk for 2 minutes and got more
than upset. I can't imagation sitting there for 8 hours.
teachers need to get back to teaching and leave the
disipline to the parents. I don't think I am over this
yet. How dare a teacher sit any child up against a
chalk broad for 8 hours a day. Some thing with this
person. To think that this is okay. I may end up at the
county district office before I feel things are handled.
Because the principle couldn't answer questions. She
just danced around them. I believe she is to be in
every class room 3 minutes a day. And she thought
this was okay for 2 weeks. What are things coming
to. Teachers can be bully's. We found out first hand today. If we don't protect them. Who does.

This is so aggrivating. Teachers, in fact, can be bullies and they don't see the harm it brings to the child. I personally would write a letter (this way it is documented) to the teacher, carbon copying the principal. I would attempt to set up a conference and address the issue.

If this goes unresponsive on their part, I would visit the Board of Education's Superintendant and advise that this situation is being ignored by staff/faculty and is getting worse and needs to be dealt with. I understand your's and your wife's frustration and I hope this matter is resolved for the child's sake. Maybe Pasteeater has had some success with her issue and can offer advice as well. I hope that both your children have a positive outcome to such an unfortunate situation. The teachers need to attend classes before teaching them.

Hi, I have a similar situation with my son, his teacher always singles him out to put him down if he didn't do well on a test and embarrasses him in front of the whole class, he was always a very good student and a great kid, but a little reserved and shy. But in the last 2 months , he has not wanted to go to school at least once a week, crying he doesn't like this one teacher and says he hates school because of her. My wife and I are at out wits end, my wife just recently spoke with the principal and the teacher and they said that if he continues to once a week stay home from school , that they will inform the proper dept and say we are unfit parents by letting him stay home. That is the furthest thing from the truth, we love are son and want him to do the best he can. but he fights us verbally and cries he can't deal with this one teacher, and we told that to the principal , any advice , we are at our wits end

When all else fails get a lawyer involved. first you seen a formal letter to the teacher whom is not treating your child with repsect, honor and as a little human being. Secondly Give a formal letter to the Principal and state why you are hiring a lawyer. This teacher behavior is complety uncalled for. Teachers are to give out info so our child will grow up and learn how to be community minded individuals not learn how to be abusive and treat others with no respect. Why am I able to speak this way I say? I to had problems. My son is in the 4th grade and this teacher humiliated him in front of the whole classroom. One day during the week he became so upset during his lunch that he choked. I asked why, "I couldn't focus because the teacher had made fun of me in front of the classroom." This went on from September through all of October. I tried working with this teacher but without results. So, I wrote formal letters stating what I will do if I don't get results NOW. Try this and see if this makes a difference.

I totally understand where you're coming from. My daughter is in the same position with her teacher. The principal told me the reason her teacher is that way is because she's from the east coast. That was her ridiculous reasoning. I've also tried talking to the teacher with no avail. She's still the same way and my daughter is also hating school. She came home crying again the other day. I don't know what to do as well. There are some teachers who shouldn't be teaching in my opinion.

Try to see the teacher inmediately after school ends, when all her students leave, it might be the right time to talk to her, sometimes I do that when I need to speak with my child's 2nd teacher. It seems that this teacher doesn't have any patience to deal with kids and takes it on the kids. My forth grader told me yesterday that her P.E teacher keep calling her student loosers if they don't finish their race or if they just sit for a while to rest, this should not be say by a teacher at all, what kind of motivation is this teacher for her students? calling them loosers. My daughter told me that she is not a looser, she always gets A's in her classes and that she doesn't really likes when the teacher calls her or the other students, loosers. I told my daughter that of course she is not a looser.

I wonder if it's the same teacher I'm having problems with. My son is outgoing but not a problem child nor does he disturb class. He does his work finishing ahead of others so he draws to occupy his time. This particular teacher said there is no time in her class for drawing EVER. One day she said he annoyed her by twirling a chain in his finger. She told me this in the hall when I was there to check him out for a dentist appt at 2. I asked her did we need a conference, she said no, just bring him home and spank him, and spank him hard! HUH????? I told her maybe he needs to straighten books, etc to have something to do. For goodness sakes, he cannot draw in her class!!!! Yesterday the RED FOLDER came home. She had a signature line for me to sign b/c he had 3 super spellers missing. Duh, it stays in his binder for weeks and is never asked for & then on a whim she wants it. I won't sign-off on that b/c my child does his homework every nite, no excuses and I know it's been done. His other teachers are very willing and helpful except this one, it's like she picks on certain kids. Can we start a mothers revolution? I'll be at the 1st meeting. This school needs taxpayers to get involved instead of sitting with our hands crossed & letting them do what they want (like uniforms, we didn't pass this, they did) what's next?

sounds like the same situation I am having with my daughers teacher. She is on a team of teachers and is doing fine with 2 of them, the one she is failing and feels like the teacher is not willing to help her. She complains all the time she gets stomach aches during this teachers classes. We have had several meetings with the the team and the two teachers are helping the one seems to always put the blame back on my daugher saying she will not apply herself. My daughter feels intimidated by this teacher everyday. She has always been a good student and has always tried really hard. She has come home so upset because of this teacher. She has had to go to the office once and now has received an afterschool detention. She has never been in trouble ever at school until this teacher.We have been meeting with the teachers ever since October and nothing has changed. I have fought with the school over this teacher and feel like I just keep getting passed around. We have another meeting scheduled for next week. I want my daugher removed from this teachers class but the school is telling me because they work as a team she would have to be removed from the other two teachers. I don't think it is fair that she should be punished for one bad apple teacher.

hi i am a mother of a 14 year old and a 10 year old i had something like that so i want their first thing when school started and took the teacher a side and thalk to him that did not work out so what i did was show up every day with my son and the school got sick of me , so ofter that the put him in a nother class room and that was that

I really feel for you!!!!!!!!!! It must be very upsetting to you for the teacher not to want to meet with you. Myself, I would one day, show up in the school when I know she is teaching and ask to see her. Go to the classroom and talk with her, and the school can send in a sub, or ask your son what time is recess or lunch and go to see her then. She should have no excuse to see you if she is not having to be teaching. She is avoiding you for a reason. Have the other parents tried to speak to her about all this? Just remember to stay calm and respectful, she will be an even bigger problem and it is only January. Good Luck.

It's really strange that she has been "allowed" to avoid you like that. What's even more strange to me, is the principal finding nothing off, about a teachers class missing weeks of recess for minor (if you can call them infractions) infractions. You've tried to go through the proper channels, I think now it's time like the great advice given here to make yourself unavoidable. Also, you may want to check out this group Preventing School Violence, and Bullying community.greatschools.net/groups/11560

They may have even more ideas to offer on your son's dilemma.

Oh I most definitely would be walking my son to class on the next day of school by-passing the office since they are of no help. I'm sure she doesn't have anywhere to hide when she has to be teaching a class. School or no school there will be no adult talking to my child that way or treating him like that! These are supposed to be fun times not times when he hates going to school!

go during he school's recess if they are having recess that day and tell her about everything. or change schools. my daughter had to change schools due to a fourth grade teacher. she had her in tears every day.

You've gotten very good advice from everyone. There's nothing worse than a teacher that basically encourages bullying by being one. Have you talked to any other parents in the class? Maybe approaching the school principal as a coordinated group would get attention.

Go to the school during regular hours and go to your son's class. Sit in on the class if you like. At least you will catch her at school and may be able to discuss it with her. If she still refuses to speak with you, then go back to the office and demand that she make the time to talk with you about this matter.

I really feed bad for your son, It is not fair the way he is being treated. I can see why this teacher feels she can get away with the way she is acting, the school and school district don`t care. Is their a P.T.A. you could bring it up at a meeting, and their probably are other parents who have been treated unfairly by this teacher, and others of the school district.

1. Schedule an appt. with the teacher. Keep a record of how many times she declines to meet with you. When you call sound polite and calm.
2. During the meeting bring a notebook for you to jot down what she says. Also, it's important to try and have someone there with you-preferably another person in education- to have a witness.
3. During the meeting, act professional. Stay calm even if the woman should clearly not be a teacher. Hopefully, some issues can be solved here and maybe there is a part of the story that is being left out or altered.
4. During the meeting ask her : What is the school's discipline policy? What is your discipline policy? What traits do you look for in a student? Where else have you worked or volunteered with children? Any low grades your child may have bring them up with her and ask her what she is doing to better your child and what you could do. Ask her if she would like any volunteers in the classroom if the children seem too out of hand at times.

Finally, remain polite at all times. If she does not answer, immediately schedule an appt. with the principle. I know it is summer now, but I still believe you should meet with her. This is not water over the dam. If your child is leaving nothing out of the story, then she will repeat her atrocious actions once again. If other teachers seem to bully like this, find another school.

I agree with you mominator! The reward approach encourages kids to hold it in which is unhealthy! Figure out who the abusers are and deal with them, not the class as a whole :)

The teachers "have a good idea" which students are looking for a break in the bathroom, but even those kids really need to go at times as well. You cannot disallow a child's request to use the bathroom. Children who repeatedly interrupt class time, to use the restroom, when they simply want a break from class, need to be dealt with on an individual basis by the teacher working with the parent. Punishing the whole class because of one child's continual disruptive behavior seems to be a tool teachers use to try to put pressure on the one student acting out. Misery loves company. Some students might enjoy 29 other students being kept from recess, rather than being the only one punished. Any incentive which encourages a child to hold urinating, to increase a reward, could prompt an unfortunate accident. Do we really need to use rewards to keep children from going to the bathroom during class. I would like to believe that the majority of children go when they physically feel the need. As do most adults. I would also think, some children try to wait, because they don't want to announce to the whole class that they, "have to go." When they do ask, they need to be allowed to go. Could it be that the teachers are so opposed to having to go over something with the one student that missed the instruction, due to a bathroom trip, that they try to "control" every student's need to use the bathroom. I don't think punishing a whole class or restricting a whole class as a result of a few students taking advantage, is a very effective tool to modify the behavior of the few that are taking advantage. I think our kids need to know their rights and when they are being excessively controlled. The right to use the bathroom whenever needed. (Only the student knows if they need to go.) The right to discuss anything that happens in class with their parents. (Freedom of speech) The right to leave class or recess at anytime to speak with the principal, or to call home. After a classroom accident in a 4th grade class room this past year, I sat my children down and told them they can get up at anytime to use the restroom, even when they have been told they aren't allowed to go. They can disobey their teachers if they "need to go". I explained how embarrassing it would be if they actually wet their pants and every other student in the classroom new about it. I added this, because I know for my children to get up and walk out of class, with a direct order from the teacher that they could not go and a threat of loss of recess or detention if they go anyway, would be emotionally difficult for them to do. As for the children who do "go to the bathroom" to get a break. If they were to do this, they will be gone even more often, at their loss of instruction. I want to comment on children who frequently "tune out" or "need breaks" can't sit to do homework or classwork for more than a few minutes, may need a vision assessment with a "developemental" optomitrist to see if they have vision issues which create an natural aversion to "up close" work, requiring external prompting to keep the child on tract. Stress reducing lenses and vision therapy could help these kids require fewer breaks. Does any child really want to isolated in a dirty school bathroom? Real solutions for real problems.

Thanks Cinderbell :o) !!!

Have a great and safe trip!

Have a happy fourth of July everyone!! I am off to Disneyland for 5 days of rides, fun and relaxation with my family!!!

Well, the students in this class didn't receive much money and was actually unfair as the money given was mostly given to the kids who the teacher liked. Yes, I was there and know for a fact. I do not think the students who had to "go" at the wrong time should be punished, adults aren't punished, so why should students? Sometimes, when you gotta pee, you gotta pee and the message should never be that having to REALLY use the bathroom is wrong. Something should be done for the students who do abuse that right....and like I said, that is easy to see which students do that.
Sorry, I would rather not have my girls get bladder infection and urinary tract infection(in which one of my girls did get) because they weren't allowed to "go".

Most teachers are aware of the kids who actually need to go and the kids looking for 5 minutes less of class time.. Having them use their classroom bucks to
get that 5 minute break, usually doesn't even phase those kids.. They would rather get the free 5 minutes than keep the buck.. Good grief, the teachers gave them each 10 new ones each week and the more you kept the better your chance at the auction at the end of the month... Good ole Randy never cared a bit.. Just used them each week for free time.. I have always taught my son to go to the bathroom on recess and after lunch, and yet he didn't.. He was one of the kids using his bucks.. Untill he realized that more bucks in the bucket, more chance at seeing your name come out of the bucket for a prize.. Now he "does" go at recess, and rarely had to use his bucks for a bathroom break..Accountability is the name of the game.. Teaching kids to use their time wisely is part of a teachers job.. I never had a job that I could get up 3 or 4 times an hour to go pee.. If I did I would be fired.. Kids are too coddled these days...

Pay to take a bathroom break...now I have heard it all!!! I like Cinderbell's idea...if you gotta go...JUST GO!!! If I were a student & my teacher said no and I really had to go I would go pee on her feet!!!!!!!!

I kind of liked the idea of the classroom bucks being used for a bathroom break.. My sons teachers have done that too, and the teacher would only make the kids who had a HIGH propensity for "needing another bathroom break" use them.. When I volunteered I would watch the same three boys raise their hands right after getting back to the classroom from lunch and "need" to go.. Kids should go during recess, and the bathroom bucks hold them accountable.. Now "Sally" or "Joe" who almost never ask to go would just be dissmissed for a bathroom break... Every bathroom break for Randy etc, was one less buck in the auction bucket for the end of the month.. Accountability is what so many kids these days are lacking..... I think it sends a good message...

In the classes I volunteered in, there were teachers who wouldn't "allow" bathroom breaks. I get it that some students use this as an excuse to get out of class, but after a few weeks you know who they are. So, the other students get punished for having to pee "at the wrong time". One teacher made the students "pay" her to go the bathroom-she used fake money as payments for certain things....but I think having to "pay" to pee is sending the wrong message of having to use the bathroom is a bad thing. I have always told my children if they had to go, leave anyway to avoid accidents that never should happen in the first place.

And that goes for any caregiver, not just teachers!

If a teacher allowed my child to pee in their pants b/c she would not let them go to the bathroom there would be some serious repercussions!! I would not give up the fight until that teacher was assigned to cleaning bathroom floors with a toothbrush!!

Thank you for clearing up the idea that a teacher is not a bully but rather an ABUSER. So when a teacher is engaging in "bullying" behaviors toward a child in their classroom it needs to be called what it is. Abuse.

O.K. Hold on a minute when did embarassment become abuse -- if that were the case most parents would be abusing their kids because at some point most kids are embarrased by their parents.

A 4th grader peeing in their pants.......... O.K. I taught 3rd grade for 8 years & 5th for 1. I had a few 3rd grade "accidents". Usually it was because they didn't ask to go or had medical conditions where they could not sense the urgency to go. My 5th graders -- if I had told them NO and they really needed to go -- They would have left my room anyway & went. I'm sure their are teachers that can be intimadating, but I'm sure there was a "bigger" story then just what the student told everyone.

On another note the word bully shouldn't be used to define a teacher ..... bullies are students because they are a child's social equal. A teacher can technically bully a parent, but not a child. A teacher can ABUSE a CHILD but not BULLY. Bullying is done among social equals.

I would try and talk with the teacher, and keep notes on the dates, and what was said (even if she refuses), then go to the counselors and do the same. If nothing happens, go to the principal and let him/ her know what is going on. Show him/ her a copy of your notes. Also write notes on your meeting with the prinicipal. If nothing gets accompolished go higher up. School board, mayor, governor, anyone. If you need to, tell them that you need answers and if you need to, go to the media. Let each person know you need information and if not, then the media will get invovlved. Can you imagine...she's probably doing it to other kids, and will keep doing it until she's stopped.

This past school year a child in a forth grade classroom wet his pants, in his chair, after making two requests to go to the bathroom. The teacher told the child to ask again in 10 minutes and then said NO. This is an instance of child abuse. Bully teacher and abusive teacher are out there. They need to be taken to court, if that is what it takes to get them out of the classroom, where the imbalance of power allows them to victimize selected students.

You are your son's advocate and have rights,My son is newly diagnosised with ADHD and has behavioral issues my teacher enjoys provoking him to the point that he's received two suspension's in a 6month period .
You need to speak with the principal and put this in writing.I'm all for supporting the teacher but this teacher is out of line.

Maybe go to the school everyday .Talk to principal.
Go to higher ups. Call mayors action line . Go to education center. Its harder to tell people no to their faces. Wite a letter to or email a news station .Keep digging and keep trying. Take you're child out of that teachers class. Maybe even change schools.

Totally unacceptable. My sister teacher 4th grade and I am also a teacher and it is never okay to bully a student. Just because someone is legally qualified to teach doesn't mean they have the ability.

If you can, spend the day in your child's classroom observing and taking notes about procedures. Write down any rules that are posted.

In my honest opinion you should go in and demand your child to be moved, but that only solves the problem in the short run. This teacher obviously needs to be let go.

She needs to be fired.
I am teacher. She needs to be FIRED!!

She needs to be fired.
I am teacher. She needs to be FIRED!!

CoolDad.. You rock!! I loved your ideas... And I love your shock value comments to the principle... We need more parents like you around!!! ROCK ON and keep the info coming!!

Have you tried to contact the "area manager" in your district?? This is the person who is a step above the principal. If she/he were to get involved the principal would make sure action will be taken. This teacher sounds (from what you have said) to be a monster. I certainly would never tolerate her behavior and more importantly neither should you! The worst result is a child beginning to hate school with so many school years left to go through. Always be sure to tell your son he has done nothing wrong! Tell him that the teacher may be going through a rough time which will show him that he is NOT at fault & at the same time teaching him that sometimes people have issues that make them behave in ways we may find unacceptable. This definitely should be dealt with right away. She may ruin the lives of other children as well and she must be stopped in her tracks!

I wish you good luck...keep us posted!! Oh and btw...what state do you live in??

I'm a teacher. I hate hearing that kids are being treated in an unfair manner. I will say this, often times what your kid is saying is true. Maybe its not completely meant in the way its being percieved but it is true to an extent. It's unfortunate that you have no one to help you and that everyone keeps telling you to talk to someone else. Go to the school and ask to volunteer in your child's class for a bit. Take the back door approach. If you are seen as a friend they might be more willing to listen. Parents that are viewed as trouble makers are often given the run around by school administration. Ask for a meeting with the teacher and principal together to express your concerns, if that doesn't work, contact the local news or hire an attorney.

I think you need to go through the proper channels. It sounds to me like you have already tried to reason with the teacher. Since that didn't work, I would speak to the principal. If you go to the principal and there is still no improvement, I would bring it back to the District Office - and speak to the superintendent. If there is a pattern of bullying and the teacher is the bully, I think it is your duty to pursue it. Sometimes teachers do things that do not seem fair but if it is repeated toward a particular child, it must be stopped in my opinion.

If a surprise visit does not work - linger to find out the car the teacher drives. Not for stalking or harassing - of course. But it has great shock value when the principal tells you that teacher is gone for the day.

When that happened to me, I looked concerned and said to the Principal: "Really? You may have a situation on your hands then, because her car is here and it is empty. Shall I notify the police?"

The teacher "appeared" from around the corner as if she had just walked back in. I pointed to the video monitor of the front door and asked if she was a vampire - because she did not appear on the camera mounted at the front door!!

Oh - they hate me so much. And I have to say, I love it.

Wow - this sounds like our child's teacher - and many in the school, too.

We also get the duck and cover from the teacher and principal. But I'll tell you what really has worked...
we now do everything by email with a copy mailed certified to the school AND superintendant AND school committee chairperson.

Oh, the school hates us so much. But, rather then us bending over for them, they are now bending over for us - and our child is reporting better days at school!!

Fighting fire with fire can actually work.

so what happened,did you get any thing done about it.

I just went through a similar situation with my kindergarteners teacher. I had to go to the principal several times and then I filed a formal complaint with the superintendent. I was willing to take it as far as I had to legally, to get her out of the teacher's class and somewhere where she could thrive academically. I did a lot of research online about the districts policies and procedures so that I knew how to get the help that we needed. (I made a serious mistake letting the teacher and principal know that I was doing that, though. Which I do not recommend, because it gave them more time to collaborate their stories, and to build up their own ammunition,including drawing a picture of my daughter that she didn't draw.I am not sure exactly why, but my daughter identified the picture among her own work and said I didn't draw this...all my letters are in caps I don't write that way anymore....that is not skin color... I do way better than this...only Miss R glues our papers to blue backgrounds, etc. She and I were confused why it was even in there or why it was created. I personally feel that it was done to hurt my daughters feelings, again. But, I am not totally sure. It really ticks me off that she would do that to a five year old.) But anyway, I finally got the transfer granted and my daughter couldn't be happier.
She loves her new teacher and I am so happy for her. This teacher has kids of her own and is used to the challenges of parenting, and teaching. The principal at her new school is warm and kind, too. She already knows at least five other kids in her class, from soccer, and other activities so it wasn't like walking in brand new, either, so the transition has been even smoother than I could've hoped. The whole overall feeling is completely different. We are all very happy with the change! I only wish we would've done it sooner, and that we could take all the other kids that she picks on with us to the new school.
Good luck with your son's situation, and don't give up. Your son has the right to be treated with respect. If I were you, I would research the policy and procedures, document every incident, and meeting that has occurred, report this situation to the proper authorities, and most importantly get your kid out of there so that things don't get any worse for your son, and request or demand that they find him a different teacher, or school, if necessary.
Take care.

Take off work early one day and surprise the teacher by just showing up then she will have to talk to you.If that don't work talk to the principle and tell he/she that you need to talk to them about it.tell them it is urgent that you talk to them.

Writing a letter, although it sounds great, can easily be dismissed, I would suggest going before the schoold board, attend one of their meetings and if you have your documentation as mentioned by one of the other readers, let the board members know your concerns about this teacher, and also as recommended by another reader have other parents in your son's class whose child has experienced this behavior come before the board and acknowledge this. The school board is there to hear complaints about teachers and investigate those claims and resolve the problem in a timely manner.

Here is a suggestion. Write a letter documenting EVERYTHING in this way:

1 - on or about DATE, it is my understanding that you stated to the entire class "QUOTE."

2 - on or about DATE, I EMAILED/CALLED and requested that you contact me regarding this situation. You have failed to return my CALLS/EMAILS.

3. - my son reports feeling unsafe in your presence and in the school.

4. - This is a serious matter. I expect your immediate response.

Send this letter CERTIFIED with one copy to the Principal, one to the teacher, one to the guidance counsellor one to the Superintendent, one to the School Committee Chair person, one to the local Department of Social Services, one to the local police department and one to the local newspaper.

The will respond to you.

Have you tried talking to some of the other parents in
the class your son is in. Maybe if more then one parent has this problem you could address the school as a group. just my thought!

Yeah, I just got a massive 'stroking' from the principal of my sons mid-school. After having contacting the school board...I quickly realized that they would only appease me. That I would be sent for a round-for-round back to the very staff that forced me to call the SB in the first bloomin' place. Ugh!
This is why it is important to go up above their heads.
I avoided the principals calls until one day I didn't check caller ID and groaned at the dissertation that he was dishing me...""yes, yes we'll do all that we can"..blah, blah, blah...empty promises.
Knowing full well that all the letters that i have collected will soon be forwarded to the Superintendent, soon.
We'll see what that yields.

Glad to see that you are monitoring your child's class. You have the absolute right to. For the teacher to become irate reeks of a guilty soul. Me thinks someone has something to hide. All the more reason to keep a watchful eye.
For the asst. Principal to escort you out, given that you stated that you were quiet complacent, reeks as well.
Further, I really do not understand this 'appointment' thing.
If I want to visit my son in Elem. at lunch..I get to, at recess..I get to, monitor a class...same, I get to. With another son (I have three) in mid-school...I just pop in and monitor at will. Same, I suppose, at Sr. high (third son), though I haven't seen the necessity yet.
I wonder what prevents your child's school from this 'open door policy". I'd find out if this, in fact, an offering from the school as it is in my case.
Find out if it can be random...pretend that you don't know just when you can visit..only that you'd like to.
But getting that teachers nickers in a twist..I think that you might be on to something. She seems too touchy.

I agree with the teacher for Portland. Don't let this slide! Two points to add. One, the principal or his/her designate absolutely should meet with you to discuss and help work through this. Anything else is dereliction of duty. Second thought: you don't know exactly what is going on inside the classroom. Approach the issue humbly with the spirit of working it out for the benefit of your child and the school. But don't let it slide and do let us know what happens!

You should write a note letting the teacher know you want to meet with her. Make a copy of the note. Tell her to please write the time that she can meet with you on the note and send it back home with the child. Make sure to date it. This way if the teacher does not put the time on the note you have some thing to show to the principle when you ask to see her. If you want proof of what is said when you talk to the teacher request another teacher or the principle be present when you talk to her. Also have a friend or family member go with you. It would also help if you could talk to other parents with children in this class to see if other parents have the same issues. Each year we have 2 parent/teacher days, were we can go talk to the teachers about concerns we have for our child. We also have an E-Mail address were we can talk to them. There should be no reason for you not to be able to talk to your child's teacher when ever you feel the need to.

Thank you !! And most of this I've done - Yesterday the principal "escorted" me from the school at 12:00 - I had decided that I would just spend the remained of the school year in 1st grade shadowing my baby... I have been very careful not to accuse or blame - at least until we go for out next team meeting on Mon. - so I went under the pretense of helping to keep my baby focused and on task - so as to take some of the burden off of the school teacher - of course I want to protect her and keep her safe --- I was very careful both yesterday and the afternoon 2 weeks ago when I dropped in to help with her math - not to interfer or distract the other students, not to be in the way, not to appear to do anything other than to help --- but both times the teacher flipped out and went running to the ass. principal last week (that was nipped because things started coming out in that meeting that weren't being done to follow her team's suggestions) then yesterday she ran to the principal who was oblivios to what was going on - and literaly escorted me to the door. After he had a few minutes to talk to the ass. principal they called me back to the school to talk and suddenly "back stroked" on his handling of the situation. I brought her home with me yesterday when I was forced to leave, she has a support person who will be there for a few hours this afternoon. And I have been "allowed" to schedule 2 times a week that I can come in and sit with her for 1 hour at a time---- Isn't that some shit?!? but tomorrow afternoon I will be allowed an hour - of course at the end of that time she will probably come on home with me and they can just kiss my behind.... Then Mon - I can go in at 8 for an hour - and the saving grace --- at 11:30 I have a team meeting with who ever I can get to show from the school staff through to my baby's support person (an out of school source), her personal therapist, her social worker, and me and my husband --- by then I hope to have my temper undercontrol and my ducks in a row ---- So far I've played their games, I've played nice and I even played dumb yesterday - they have no idea who they are dealing with ---- I'm not the brightest light in the box but when it comes to my kids ------- and their rights that are being done in by a teacher who is all about the glory of grades and nothing about the children --- well you know! Oh and I have already nicely suggested to the Ass. Principal that this would probably be the year she retires - just to see her reaction - I do hope she caught my point ! Any other words of advice? Thoughts to keep me in line and not to go nuts on this woman? I'm normally such a calm, easygoing person that people think they can walk all over me but when I've had enough I just go nuts (my girls will certainly verify that one!) so someone better look out on Monday....

I am glad for my kids sake that I have not had this issue, however, if I was in your situation I would attempt just as you have to talk with the teacher, if that failed I would have a meeting with the principal if nothing availed I would then file a complaint. I'm sure you are very angry about this all, I know I would be if it were my child and I know my child is not perfect but that does not give anyone the right to be a bully.

My son went through the same thing. Almost makes me wonder if this is the same teacher. I also got no where the right way, plus we were at a private school which at times is very hard to get anywhere. I would just start documenting things and like some of the others that have commented I would try and do it all over the computer. Then it is considered a legal document in most cases. There is a time and date stamp that can not be altered. This is terrible to say, but when I could not get anywhere within the chain of command, I pretty much became her bully. Also, I am not quite sure how this works, but you may want to complain to the state level or DCFS, tell them what is going on and you are getting the run around and you believe that your child is being abused mentally and verbally and you want an investigation done otherwise you will contact a child advocate lawyer. Trust me I work at the hospital, we Hate when state comes in-not fun. At least you are almost at the end of the year...but some other kid next year is going get picked on.. :( rach

This is absolutely not OK (and I'm a teacher!). The Principal needs to be supportive to your concerns. If he/she is not willing to meet with you, then you need to contact your Principal's supervisor. In Portland Public, these people are called "DOSA"s. There are so many great, loving, caring educators out there that we need to support them while standing up for ourselves when we encounter someone who isn't quite as lovely. Please, don't let this slide.

This is absolutely not OK (and I'm a teacher!). The Principal needs to be supportive to your concerns. If he/she is not willing to meet with you, then you need to contact your Principal's supervisor. In Portland Public, these people are called "DOSA"s. There are so many great, loving, caring educators out there that we need to support them while standing up for ourselves when we encounter someone who isn't quite as lovely. Please, don't let this slide.

Jones2

Is there a remote chance that you can demand that the school transfer her to another class or teacher.

Class change for Elementary
I have actually done this at the MidSchool level. had my son transfered out of a teachers class. Not too long ago.
Happy as a clam, he is!

I damn near did it when one of my sons was in Elementary, but I resolved it with the teacher.

First I confront the offender.
Let them know that someone is standing up for the child.
If a power-tripping teacher (or other staff) thinks that they can get away with cruel/inappropriate behavior, by G_d they will.
Often a show of support kills any notions of bad behavior.

In most schools you can randomly drop in and monitor the class room. I would do this ASAP.
Though it often nets in the teacher 'behaving' that day. but frequently enough gives off that show of support.
Asked why? Tell them that you are suspicious of their evil acts. (ok, maybe not that choice of words)

Next to the principal.

If that doesn't net any action, you can try the district school board.
I personally found that it, for me, was like the "What goes on in Vegas, stays in Vegas" game. I was reverted back to the very staff that played 'drop the ball'.
Your millage might vary. This might not always be the case.

Then there is the Superintendent level. I am embarking on that journey soon.

Would threats make the school sit up and take notice? Only if you intend to take them up on it...yet it might not hurt to bluff. I suspect they get the bluff enough to know when to read one.

I took my 3rd grader out of school yesterday. The principle told me that he will do nothing to prevent a gang of 5th grader from harassing my son on a (in his words) 'almost every day" bases.
The principal sited "if they are not calling him names, or haven't been physical then there is nothing I can do"
I simply left a message with the secretary AND on the attendance line (so that several people in the office will be privy to this) stating that; I will have my son at home until the principal meets with me and my husband and can assure that he will address these bullies as per district policy. (I will present which article he needs to uphold). Until such a time that he can assure my sons safety he will not be attending school.

Having been told he was in a lengthy meeting...I sure did get a speedy response for one so tied up.
This clown had already breached the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act with me (as I threw the book at him for that...not literally) on a previous occasion.

Google laws, policies..get a policy handbook from the office..use what ever you can. Bloody hell, throw the book at them!!

you don't move.
You don't take your child out of school (permanently)
You get so far up there proverbial bums that they will be forced to comply.

Don't cower. They like nothing more then to continue misbehaving, and letting them slide offers this very open door to continue to do so.

Slam it!!!

I am having the same problem , for two years , resulting in my two complaints to the OCR , and another one filed on Friday. They are really going to help !
If I were you , I would file a formal complaint with the district and e-mail the teacher so she responds IN WRITING ! Loss of communication with teachers sends a RED FLAG warning to me. What is she hiding ? Read my profile !
Get in touch if you want to and I'll try to help. This teacher sounds guilty of being a bully to me.. If he is crying and this behavior she expresses is out of character for your child , then it's happening for a reason. What is SHE as the adult , doing to provoke him ?
Think about that......

It's 4am and I just typed a long reply to your posting - explaining things here at school for my granddaughter - her teacher is more than a bully she's an abuser. And asking for help with our situation - when bam my hunk of junk computer freaked out and I think lost it - I'll check back later maybe it sent it to the board instead of out into space - if it didn't I'll redo - in the mean time HELP! My baby is actually being belittled, tormented and verbaly abused every minute she is in class with this woman and her assistant ! I can't stand to send her into this horror another day - what to do? I've tried everything possible through the school - do I go to the school board? Do I contact a lawyer? I'm trying to get her into a private school but paying for it --- well you know-- and if I can get her in this late in the year. Do I keep her home and homeschool (which would make my other children resentful and I feel make her feel like even more of a failure that she couldn't handle school)? Can I get the school to be responsible for sending a teacher into our home for the balance of the year - would emotional distress justify that enough for them to do it? Would threats make the school sit up and take notice? Help! I can not see her beaten down another day! What do I do?

You shouldn't have to give an explanation of why your son was absent. Your son was sick that day. Did the teacher want your son to come and infect the other students?
Maybe you can do some research of what kind of punishment a teacher can do? Talk to the other students' parents to see if their kids experiencing the same thing. If they are, then have them email or write a letter to the district office. That way it's not a teacher vs. one student, it's teacher vs. the rest of the class. If you're given the run around, go up the next level. Continue to go up the "chain of command" until someone does something about it. The teachers should inform the parent(s) about his/her child wrong doings and leave the punishment to the parent(s). Children should want to go to school.

Hello. I have a few suggestions: go to the school counselor and explain your situation as it relates to the happiness and overall well being of your child and how the teacher's treatment of your son is effecting him. Request that she speak with him. Show up to the school and request to speak to the principal/assistant principal and explain your son's situation, request a formal meeting in writing, if possible bring another parent that also is in your son's class for 2 reasons, #1 witness #2 corroboration, any requests you make in writing you should copy and keep a file....at the bottom of each letter cc the principal/asst principal, one or more school board members, and the city council if need be, and mail it to each of those person advising them that you have been trying to get a problem resolved and had no luck............if nothing else you will have a paper trail and will be able to use it in court should the need arise...........since you have has such a problem meeting with the teacher alone I strongly suggest until the matter is resolved to your satisfaction you are never alone with her. each day your son comes home in a regular mom manner ask him how his day went and if he says not well ask him to tell you what happened and why it upset him....i'd record the day and time on a tape, also keep a journal......sometimes these things can get worse before they get better...if nothing else request that your son be moved to another classroom. hope this helps!

Teachers can be bullies too and while, yes, our kids can and often do get some facts messed up from time to time, unless your son has been known to do this often or just outright lie, you really need to trust what he says at face value and work from there. When you do finally get a face to face with the teacher, don't just buy what she sells you because if she is indeed mistreating the kids she's going to backpeddle so fast your head might spin.
I don't doubt that your teacher gave him the "little birdie" bit. That just rings true. And I've personally known teachers who overdo it in the whole-class punishment routines. And you've said that she holds class over and the busses are late. It's not a far fetch for her to tell the kids they'll miss recess for a week if they don't get their chairs up.
And she's a first year... that also means she is still a rookie and some of these things sound like a rookie in overkill mode to keep control over the classroom. It sounds like she hasn't the first clue about how to effectively and positively lead children.

I would try all of the suggestions listed above the other thing you might try is to get to school a few minutes early at pick up time so you can catch her and try to talk to her then or schedule an apt. most teachers also have a prep period durning the day when the kids are in PE (or simimular) classses try calling the school during that time and insist to talk to the teacher becuase u know the children are in PE ect.... If All else fails you can try my friends trick she calls the superenteandt of schools and tells them if they dont help her she will got to the press ... she got all of her problems adressed with in 24 hrs

It's great that you are "Listening". In 2006, our teenage son (17 at the time) witnessed teacher bullying toward his friend. Our son, came to us and asked for help. We have tried to discuss the events to bring forth awarness, however the reactions that followed have been and still remain difficult to discuss. I liked WisconsinMom's advice. E-mail is a great tool. Keep listening to your son, it is important he knows 'You Care'

That's a good idea too. I'm so glad I came here for help because I've gotten so many great ideas! Thanks to everyone!

You are so right, I do beleive my son and the teacher may have different stories. She's a first year teacher too, so she may not even know how she's hurting the children. I try so hard to talk to her but it seems like she's afraid of me. I can be over protective when it comes to my son, Tyler so maybe I'm a bit scary. LOL

It sounds like the teacher is being a little unreasonable, however I know from experience that kids often give us a different version than what really happened. I would meet with the teacher first and discuss your concerns. The jump from 3rd to 4th grade is a huge jump! Your child may be having difficulty with this. Try going to the source first. I've never met a teacher that will not talk with the parents. Something doesn't seem right. Also, who would keep a child in for recess for not putting their chair on their desk? That seems a little fishy to me. I'm sure you could drop in after school and talk with the teacher before this gets out of hand. If it still isn't solved, then try bringing the principal into the situation.

Document all your efforts. Take it to the principal's office and sit there until either the principal or that teacher meets with you to resolve the problem. I so agree with wicked's answer earlier!

I so agree with the others. If the principal states that you need to work it out with the teacher, and you have tried, (in writing or it didn't happen,) you need to show to him that you have done that. I would also do this immediately, your son is suffering the consequences.

Most parents after taking their children to the DR, and are need of medication, do not have the time or luxury of dropping your child off, to go pick up the prescription... Geesh! Does this woman have children?

Good luck!

You need to start a paper trail of conversations. E-mail her.

Dear teacher, On what ever date I was informed that my son lost recess privilages. I have tried to set up a time to discuss this problem with you previously. I will be available (list 2 or 3 times). I look forword to meeting with you.

If she dosn't reply, you can go up the food chain to the principal and say that you did try to work with teacher include copy to e-mail and get principal involved. Teacher is out of line.

Sounds like schools also suffer from avoidance behavior, not good!

If it were me I would march down to the school, tell the office I plan to sit here, all day if necessary, until someone can sit down with me and answer some pressing questions concerning the teachers bad behavior. If the principle cannot manage her staff or troubleshoot this issue I would then write a complaint letter to the district office.

It could be that the school knows of this teachers behavior and does not know what to do or they are covering for her by avoiding complaints, seen it happen.

good luck and keep us posted.