My 4 year old daughter's schooling delema. I have few options left open...

I could not fit this into the Q&A section, I'm sorry if this is in the wrong area.

Her parents have been separated since before she was 2. Equal custody is shared by both the mother and the father, and both are good parents with healthy relationships built. The problem comes with where the parents are located currently, it's about 50 miles apart. If one of them gets the child for school, the other would be forced to drive an extra two hours on school days or be forced not see her except for weekends and vacation.

I feel a few details have to be given to answer my following questions. First, the father has just purchased a home that is under half a mile from all schools K-12 in a Excellent rated district, but it is too close for bus transport. The mother lives within the bus route of her schools, however she has moved 6 times in the past 2 years and rents in an Effective district. My guess is both the mother and the father will reject the idea of allowing the child to attend the others district willingly, knowing the outcome.

I have been racking my brain for the past 6 months trying to figure this whole mess out. Currently a court order is calling for her to go to the mother's school district. However, moving after the paperwork was completed the mother now lives in the lowest rated district in the area, and no longer within the 10 miles of each other as before.

My questions;

Would it be fair for the child to live outside of a school district that she is attending, to attend an Excellent school in lieu of an Effective school?

Are there any problems or drawbacks that I'm not thinking of if she was to attend a school that is highly rated and between where the mother and father both live?

Is there something I haven't thought of or am missing? The more options that are on the table the better it will be in the long run for my daughter.

If more information is needed I will reply, and any ideas or advise welcome and appreciated.

Parent Comments on "My 4 year old daughter's schooling delema. I have few options left open..."

View 4 comments: Newest-Oldest, Oldest-Newest
Display fewer comments

Divorce is never easy and school choices like this situation can run in so many differing options.

You are looking at the immediate situation instead of looking long term. Where she resides and attends school now will differ in 3-8 years from now when she's in middle school, etc. How many times do you want to be in court to clean up the child's residential/school situation?

Ultimately, what is in the best interest of the child should be the driving factor. How much are both parent's willing to sacrifice to put this child's needs above their own? Yes, this child is 4 years old but she's got a bright future that only needs to be encouraged in a school that will help her achieve that goal. Where will she receive the most stability? Children deserve constancy, stability, love and encouragement. That should be the driving factor in where it is locate. Nothing ideally will be fair to either parent - but a parent who truly loves their child will put what is in that child's best interest above his/her own.

Personally I would rather keep my daughter in a public school setting as it helps build a healthy social understanding of others in a group setting instead of just being with me, a single parent with no other kids, all the time. Homeschooling was thought of, but would be an absolute last resort in this case. As for the Effective school in question, it's not at all excellent as it can only maintain an 86% graduation rate (I don't like those odds).

I'll be bringing this up soon with the other parent in the next few weeks. Hopefully the middle ground school will be agreed upon. If not sadly I'll have to take this matter to court and let them decide.

Check if she can attend public school online or by homeschooling....I know she is young, but you may be surprised by what options are out there. My child attends public school through the K-12 program and she can study from anywhere anytime that fits our lifestyle...good luck to you.

I guess I am puzzled as to how and ineffective school can be EXCELLENT???

Any contributed content above is the subjective opinion of that member or external author, and not of GreatSchools. GreatSchools does not check for accuracy in community posts or verify the contributor’s identity. If you are searching for health-related advice we strongly suggest you seek professional medical support. View our Community Guidelines for more details.