Watch Add to del.icio.us | Print | Email Report it

smawb39

April 29, 2009

Struggling Sudent or wrong school?

I have been struggling to get my daughter through third grade all year. Toward the beggining of the year her teacher confronted me out in front of the school in my car where I was waiting to pick up my daughter. She told me, in front of my daughter, that she felt the my daughter had problems and should abviously be put on some kind of medication and that she thought that she had a tracking problem with her eyes and should be taken to an eye specialist to be treated. I called the principal and the school counselor the next day at set an appointment to meet with them regaurding the things that the teacher had brought up. At the meeting I asked them that if they beleived that she had some sort of learning disability could we please begin the evaluation process to find out what her problems actually were and to address them accordingly. I was told that the teacher was only acting with the best of intentions and heart and that since my daughter was not failing she did not qualify for any evaluations or modifications and that I should probably do as the teacher instructed and take to her to a doctore and have her put on medication and have her eyes tested by the specialist that the teacher recommended. Angry doesn't begin to describe my feelings at this point. I called and spoke with the school superintendant and he said that he would speak with the teacher and principle about moving her to the front of the room and see if that solves the problem. Now we are down the last 6 weeks of school and my daughter goes to school every day at 8 and stays after school for an hour mon. thru thurs. for extra math help, or so I have been told all year by her teacher and the notes that they have sent home, I have had not contact with any of the teachers since that time. Until the Easter party and I asked her teacher how she was doing at school and her teacher tells me that she thinks that my daughter is probably going to fail the year and have to repeat 3rd grade and I asked if anything had been done to help my daughter in all the time that she had been staying after shool all year wich I was told was supposed to be for extra math help, and her teacher then tells me "Oh no, she has been staying after school to study for the TAKS test." So now it is the last six weeks, the TAKS scores are in and my daughter has passed the TAKS with average scores but yet I am told that she is failing third grade. WHAT?!!! Help! What am I supposed to do now. I have tried to get hold of the school counselor, principle and superintendant for a week and no one will return my calls as they are on another line, in a meeting for away from their desk. Help, I will take any advice I can get. Do I try and get her into a different shcool? Do I just let her ride out the rest of the year and hope that next year is better? Do I pull her out and keep her at home away from these crazy people or what?

Parent Comments on "Struggling Sudent or wrong school?"

View 27 comments: Newest-Oldest, Oldest-Newest
Display fewer comments

I know that this is to late for this school year...but maybe a little help for the next. I am an active parent at my sons school, and member of the PTA. I volunteer all school-year in all class rooms at all grade levels. What I have found is that some teachers may mean "well intended" notions, they delivery is horrible. I have also found that schools and districts tend to stick together. My suggestion is that if you are not getting results, and that you are obviously an active parent, change the school. Your child is reacting to her environment. If your child is not recieving support, encouragement, and you are not in good communications with her School...there is obviously something wrong in the system. Yes, some children act out, but you know your child better than anyone else. So maybe you can ask your child what he/she would prefer to do..Kids have GREAT suggestions if we take the time and ask. I hope this helps, and I pray you can have all of this resolved for her next year...these are extremely important development stages and I would love to hear something positive come out of this terrible situation...Thanks

Question, if your daughter's belief in her ability to succeed was based solely on one year in a classroom, would this be the experience you would choose for her?
If not, make a change. I'm here when you are ready to make the leap.

Best,
Joe Bruzzese

my son came home on a bus by his self when we called the school three times. he will be car pool. My husband and me were so upset when we went to the school and the Principal said he went on the bus we freaked out almost got in a wreck getting home. Thank the Lord he was okay I am very upset about it. and anyone can visit your child with out your say so they let my child couisin who is 17 visit at lunch which it was okay but we did not give permission to the school. I have so much about this school the list goes on. I'ts horrible.

*I can't get past the teacher confronting you with your daughter present. (OUT OF ORDER)
*I would look on the school/district web-site and start emailing (keeps a record of contact).
*Do seek professional help doctor and specialist.
*Take ownership and identify where she struggles. What type of environment does she learn in best? What type of learner is she (hands on or text)? What are the best conditions for her to learn or excel? Is she distracted at school or home? What is the schools history? What have other parents experienced with that school/teacher? Do your homework and get some history and facts.
*Get tutoring or set aside extra time at home for learning( small 20-30 min session for her most difficult areas). Enlist family and friends that would love to help and may get better results with her.
*Use the internet (I find a lot of free learning tools on the internet), inexpensive workbooks (I find a lot in dollar stores or some in teacher stores - anyone can shop at a teacher store), some public libraries have great web-sites and free Saturday tutoring during school. Ask the board of education if they have free materials for your use.
*All schools should have extra help available for struggling/challenged students it is the law in most states. Your teacher did help although signals were crossed on what she was helping with. I would check the legal framework for you district or your school regions statewide support system. I don't know what state you are in but, it should help with you child's rights.
*The school semester is only 9 weeks, there should be improvement after 2 weeks. Follow up with your child and teacher.
*This web-site (Great Schools) identifies everything your child should know (by state) and breaks it down in great detail.
*I would start out the year with a friendly relationship with her 4th grade teacher. Let him/her know your concerns and have frequent conversations/conferences with her teacher. Some just have conferences at the beginning of the year. If necessary, set up a conference every 6 weeks.
*Don't give up on your child. You are her voice. Good luck.

Try Scottish Rite Hospital, your doctor will have to request it to be done.

Just because it should be my child's responsibility to do a chore, does not necessarily mean that he/she will do it, or in fact that he or she will do it well. Individual district's and school's may vary on the their screening and testing evaluations and thoroughness. Because district's and school's have limited resources, they have a vested interest in disqualifying students for services -- $$$, they may not always be the best source for information on a child's individual strengths and weaknesses.

Parents could request a full educational evaluation in all areas of suspected disability through the school system. If it comes back denied -- request an independent educational evaluation through an independent provider.

(434682)

Hi, a new member to this forum. And this was an interesting situation.

I see this as the school's ownership and responsibility. They cannot avoid the situation but find the 'root cause' which i think in this case points to the teachers themselves.

The best advice I can give you is to get and outside evaluation done if you think there may be somethng going on with your daughter. The schools interventions leave much to be desired. It's a shame that the schools say that a child struggling does not quilify for intervention or atleast evaluations. They always want to wait until the child is worn down by the struggle before they decide to step in. All i have to say is you know your child better then anyone else and it is you and you anlone that must advocate for your child because your child can't. Don't take no for an answer get what your child needs because if you don't and she keeps struggling there is a chance that your daughter will end up hating school and then you'll really have your hands full. Trust me I know I'm just now starting to see a positive change in my son after our battle.

This sounds all too familiar. It seems the schools wants you to be concerned, to care, to be involved. THEN...when you do exactly that, they do a 180. I would say keep calling, or better yet, go up to the school and wait..until they're off the phone and demand to talk to them. Keep very good notes of everything that has happened and what you have done to try and help your child. It may come to getting an attorney, and maybe if all else fails, you could mention legal action...that WILL get their attention.

Thank you everyone for your interest, help and advice. It has been inavluable to hear from all of you. I made the decision to move her to a new school district after much though and lots of prayers and she is now a different girl. I finally have my daughter back. Her new teacher is fantastic and the whole scool, teachers and all the staff are loving, energetic and understanding. It is a small country school district but they have done amazing things with the children there. There approach towards teaching and their honest concern for the children has made all the difference in the world and now my daughter, for the first time is excited about going to shcool and loves to come home and tell me about everything she learned that day. She doesn't even argue about doing homework anymore. It has been such an amazing change in such a short time and a tremendouse relief to know that there really are schools and teachers out their that are really all about the kids. Paint Creek ISD in Texas is AMAZING!! I will be forever grateful for what they have been able to do for my daughter. She was a struggling student only because she really was at the wrong school!

Hi Kristin,
I liked what you did. My son went to a private school until second grade. He was doing great in the private school, but we moved. I am thinking of taking him out of the public school mess and putting him in a Christian ,Catholic or private school. Are you in Connecticut? Can you recommend a good semi/private school ? I live near Shelton Ct. Thanks

I agree with you. I have an 8 yr old son who went from a Catholic school to a public school in 2nd grade. The teacher waited until May to tell me that she was going to ask for retention.His grades in were not bad at all so I was a bit confused. I refused and he went on to third grade.The third grade teacher knew I had refused retention becasue I do not believe in it. Studies have shown that it is useless. His third grade teacher did nothing to give him any kind of help and now in May she is mentioning retention. His grades have been within grade level. I am going to not consent to the retention again this year,but have spoken with the principal about giving him some modifications for his writing skills. I had him privatly tested and he is not LD or ADHD,but he has low visual motor skills and needs some extra time to write. The Dr who evaluated him wrote up some modifications for the school. Keep fighting as I have because the school has to provide modification/accomodations to ensure a child's success regardless if they are Special Ed. Retention is not a modification to ensure a child's success and could possibly cause more damage than good. Good teaching skills and modifications to meet a childs needs can only be a good thing.Parents need to stand up and fight and never back down to the schools out of control motives.

I am amazed that the teacher spoke to you about your daughter's special needs right in front of her. I think that is terrible. I would have to express my opinion and say it is possible that your daughter has the wrong teacher. The school may be right,but some teachers are not able to cope with children's different personalities. My son is an only child and strives on one on one attention .My son's 1st and 2nd grade teachers were very good with his personality and knew how to deal with him. His teacher this year does not understand his personality and thinks he is lazy and unmotivated. She has been trying to find a major problem with him.I had him tested and he is not learning disabled or ADHD he needs to understand that he is not an only child in the classroom. I can say from experience that you should go directly to the director of special ed like I did. The wrong techer can make a difference. I would try to get the principal to really look at who she is assigned to next year. If that does not work than maybe you should look into a semi private /private school if she will thrive better. My son went from a private school to a public school in second grade and If his next years teacher is the same quality as this year I will put him back where he thrived better.

I had a similar issue with both my twins starting in 1st grade. The teachers began early in the year of 1st grade at the teachers conference they suggested that we hold both of them back because they just And they were within normal limits for the ISTEP test too. I was angry with the teacher and refused to hold them back. They both m ake A and B's on every report card in that grade. So I saw no reason for them to be held back because they didn'[t meet some unrealistic goal that was set for them. The same thing happened again in 2nd grade. Their teachers both wanted to hold them back because of their accelerated reading scores which they felt were below average for the class, yet they were clearly in the normal range. I refused again and asked for testing for my son because I felt he had dyslexia. They school supplied the testing and the tests were great, he develops normally and has good grades therefore does not qualify for special instruction. Once again their grade are A's, B's and a rare C. So no they were not held back just so the school can keep their numbers high when it comes to standardized tests. I told the principle in a letter that there was nothing wrong with being normal or even a little below average. So I understand your frustrastion. Some kids just need more help that the school is required to give. Keep fighting for your child, if the overall picture you see ddoesn't match what they are telling you then I would not trust them.

If you have a choice of schools, you are very fortunate and of course any parent should have their child in the school that's right for them. If you can home school your daughter again you're fortunate for many people who'd like to home school also have to work outside the home and can't stay home to home school their children. Both of those sound like good options to me.

But if you're considering leaving your daughter in this school, I'd say the teacher's 'car consult' was very inappropriate - well-intentioned or not but that's behind you. Now I'd want to know from the principal why passing the TAKS test is not sufficient evidence for admitting your daughter to the higher grade? The TAKS test is supposed to be tied to the grade's state standards. How can she pass the test - even with average scores - if her skills are not up to grade level?
I'd need an answer to that question before giving any other advice other than to say - any and every parent has the right to request an evaluation from a public school. Put your request in writing. And put your questions in writing if they're avoiding your phone calls.

And you can certainly consult with your pediatrician about your daughter's vision. The 'tracking problem' her teacher refers to sounds like 'vision therapy' to me and there is great debate and discussion as to the value of 'vision therapy' - clearly your daughter's teacher is a believer but are you and is your family doctor?
As to telling you now that she is likely to fail the grade - what have her grades been like this year? What were grades like last year? If she has been a successful student before, it would be wrong to hold her back in third grade. Indeed, holding a child back in any year rarely does any good and that's a point that needs to be made to the principal. Any child who is being held back deserves to be tested and soon and only when you have the results of the tests will you be able to know if your daughter has underlying learning differences for which she'd then certainly deserve modifications and accomodations.
Good luck with this. I hope you'll post back and let us know how it goes.

I would say that you need to find another school for your daughter! I went through a similar situation with my oldest son and you need to advocate for your daughter and contact the school board and voice your complaints and go from there.

She has not been evaluated for a learning disability and her old school at Haskell, when I requested that she be evaluated flat out refused my request and she was given very little help in the classroom outside of making her stay in or lunch and recess and stay after school for an hour every day. Then she would have at least an hours worth of homework on top of the already more than eight hours of classwork. I realize that homework is normal and have not problem with it. I had one parent comment that it jus sounded like I didn't want to help her with homework and that is absolutely not the case. If there are laws in place that prevent employers from working for more than eight hours a day or fourty hours a week how is it that we are allowed to make our children work more than we are will to ourselves with only a 30 minute lunch break. My daughter was spending a total of 9.5 to 10 hours a day just on schoolwork. Is that really normal? Why then are we expecting more out of ourchildren than we do ourselves if that is the case. Out of the 17 kids in her class there was usually at least 9 kids staying afterschool. I have no problem keeping kids afterschool however if more than half the class has to stay after that tells me that there is a much bigger problem that is not being addressed.
She is happy now at her new school and no longer stays after school everyday so that has helped alot. She no longer feels that she is always working and not accomplishing anything.

A parent can request that the school evaluate a child at any time for a suspected learning disability. Make your request in writing and in your request for an evaluation note that "this letter will also serve that written consent is being provided to conduct an a full educational evaluation in the areas of ...."

Here is a link to important information to ensure that you receive an full educational evaluation and not just a screening:

community.greatschools.net/groups/11554/discussion/168190

(421807)

This is true, they will not do evaluations on a child if they are not failing or had a dramatic drop in grades. Schools have their hands tied my law makers as well.
If she is not failing then I would take it with a grain of salt for that teacher stepping out of place. She had no right to say to you what she did, especially outside of school. She shouldn't be left back if she is not failing and if she has a hard time next year then you get her the correct evaluation or extra help that is needed. The no child left behind act is still in place. I was conserned about my son being left back this year after receiving an F in 2 quarters in math....however they did an evaluation in the past few weeks and he is moving on to the next grade WITH resource room for math. So TADA! They shouldn't leave her back. Best of luck with the school battle...it doesn't end till they graduate unfortunatly.

If your child has a learning disability -- retention is usually not the best option. Take a look at the following articles:

www.greatschools.net/cgi-bin/showarticle/1213

www.wrightslaw.com/info/retain.index.htm

I would like to invite you to join and post in the Attention and Learning Difficulites Group. There are many parents there who have walked in your shoes and can direct you to credible resources:

community.greatschools.net/groups/11554

Has your child been evaluated by the school for a learning disability?

(421753)

Thank you so much for that information. I have spoken with so many parents online and in person about this and this is such a huge problem for so many that I am horrified at the scale of it. I have taken her out of this district and her new school made special accomodations for her to allow her to transfer so close to the end of the year. She started there 4-5-09 and after just 4 days is a different kid and is excited about going to school and loves her new teacher. It is a much smaller school with smaller class sizes and is well known for it's outstanding efforts in going the extra mile for the kids. I am very happy with the change so for but still wish that I could have prevented her earlier troubles. No child left behind is a joke. I thank you for your advice and concern and will look into the information that you gave me.

Thanks again,
Kristin

I am so sorry to hear what your going through. I did go through something similar when my son was in Kindergarden. Frist what happened at your parent teacher confrences? Didn't the teacher say anything, or do you just get a report card and thats it? Secondly if you child is passing all courses they can not hold her back and go research the no child left behind, shes talking without knowing obviously.
As for having your child evaluated, dont make the school feel as if you need to go "outside" to get an evaluation of any sorts. No they will not do a eye test, so if its glasses then take her to get an eye test. If it's a learning disability check out the link www.slc.sevier.org/iepv504.htm by law the school has to start an evaluation process and possible set up IEP meetings to get the services your child needs. From experience the teachers hate doing this because its a lot of paperwork. OH WELL!! This is your childs furture and education...they went to school to be educators not just teachers. Also dont let them tell you they have to do it next year the might be able to get it in for this year if you make the cut off date. That way everything needed is in place at the beginning of the year. Best of luck to you, dont let them push your buttons just do your reading. Many teachers take this job becasue it's nice to have the summer off and be off when the kids are...however its not just the perks but they have to be accountable for doing their job.

Best of Luck

What ever happened to "No Child Left Behind"????
Sadly, its probably too late to transfer schools this year, but I would definitely make plans for it next year, or put her in with a different 3rd grade teacher if she does indeed have to repeat the grade. Do what you can over the summer to build self esteem (repeating a grade is often a blow to the ego), and keep reminding her how important she is to you
I wish you well!!!
HUGS

Here is some groups you may want o join. There are more people in these groups to help you navigate the school system.

Learning and Attention Difficulties
community.greatschools.net/groups/11554

Education Laws Regs, Violations Help & Info
community.greatschools.net/groups/77570

smawb39, Here is how to request that the district evaluate (not screen) your daughter. community.greatschools.net/advice/213/How-to-request-the-district-to-evaluate--not-screen--your-child----

If the district denies your request ask for "Prior Written Notice" (PWN) community.greatschools.net/groups/77570/discussion/351660

Also document all conversations you have with the school.

Good Luck!!!

That is exactly what I did. I asked that she be evaluated by the school and they said that since she wasn't failing she did not qualify for any kind of evaluation by the school. I also spoke with her doctor and he said that he did not feel that any kind of medication was need or appropriate. I took her to the eye doctor and they said that she did not have a tracking problem with her eyes like her teacher insisted she had and only had a slight near sightedness that was easily corrected. She doesn't have a learning dissablitly. I have applied for a transfer to another district so I am hopeful that this will help.

I don't think any of those people should be telling you to put your child on medication. Why dont you go to the school psychologist and have him evaluate her or to her doctor that way they can really tell you if she does or does not have a learning disibility.

Any contributed content above is the subjective opinion of that member or external author, and not of GreatSchools. GreatSchools does not check for accuracy in community posts or verify the contributor’s identity. If you are searching for health-related advice we strongly suggest you seek professional medical support. View our Community Guidelines for more details.