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ukraine

December 28, 2008

7 year old not focusing and not on task in school

Since our child was 4 we noticed he was somewhat different. Not listening, can not do more than one task at a time. Very frustrated when he does not want to do something or thinks he can not do it. Gets angered and mean, sometimes violent, and even would hurt himself and others and pets. Went to doctor after doctor after doctor, counseling helped me more than him. Finally had him tested for ADHD, (which takes about 6-9 months to get an appointment for), when diagnosed with ADHD, we were in denial. We wanted not to medicate, we wanted to educate. So we tried for a year, no artificial flavors or colors in his food, did some organic foods, a good vitamin for kids, fish oil, chiropractor to keep his body in tune. These all seem to help a little, but when it came to school, he could not focus. We finally went to a new doctor, pediatrics in Minocqua, WI (we also moved to the northwoods for less stress for him and more one on one in school), 250 kids total for K4 thru 8th grade.) We informed our doctor of our concerns with medicating him and we did not want to lose who he was and did not want him to walk around like a zombie. It was the hardest thing to do. He started on the lowest dose of concerta and it seemed to help alittle. It was hard to first couple of days, for his body to get use to, but the meds did not change him, it helped him to focus and he was still the same as before as a person, just focused better in school and now he has been on it for 3 months and i wished i would of done it sooner, but we all have to rule out everything before we do what we are afraid of. His meds have been increased twice now and he is right on task. As for the frustration and anger, these have to subsided with us the parents changing our parenting. We watched a video on Nurturing your child and it gave us great ideas on how to give positive reinforcement in different ways. After about 4 days of doing the work, our child started changing his frustration and anger and channeled it in a positive way. We tease him and ask him where is our son, we dont know who you are and he says, hey its me mom, it decided I did not want to be mean anymore. We can breathe now and happy to say he is now the most well behaved student in his class. Before I was getting a call everyday from school, saying he did this or that, hurt another child, teacher, destroyed property, etc. I am happy to say not anymore. We have a GENIOUS on our hands states his teacher. Hope this helps all of you in some way.

Parent Comments on "7 year old not focusing and not on task in school"

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thank you for your advise skatingmom.
my son does not focus at school or home, it's so difficult for him to stay in one place and cannot control him.
the school wants to evaluate him and wants to give him med if he has ADHD, but I just want to see if there is another option than giving him meds.
I'll take your advise and try fish omega 3 to see if it works.
I'll try occupational thearpist, I really hope it works

No it is not to late! Does your son have trouble with focusing at home or during his sports? If he does then he may have ADHD. However, there are natural things you can do. My daughter has ADD and we tried meds and she is 9 and had terrible reaction. I pulled her off and we tried fish Omega 3 and it seemed to help. Her problem only happens during school. The other idea is to have an Occupational therapist evaluated your son, he could be having sensory issues. I don't know where you live but in PA we can have the school district evaluate the kids. Some simple OT things could be to have him sit on a wiggle seat, or a t stool. Another idea that an OT could do is to but a large rubber band around his desk for him to bounce his feet on. Good luck.

my son is 8 years old and he repeated Kingarden.
my son just can't stay still in his seat he doesn't bother other kids or interrupt the teacher.
does that mean he has ADHD?
the teacher did recommend that he should take medication, but I still like to fine another way without giving him medication first.
I know I can be in denial, but my son is a very sweet boy, his not violent, his very sweet and has a lots of friends. he also likes to play sports and helps around the house.
I met his 2nd grade teacher and has complaint that my son has a problem not focusing and staying sitted in school, the teacher does not know what to do anymore. I guess it's time to get him test, but I hope I'm not too late.

That is so good my son is on the same meds.the doctor just went up on his med.Because he's older and he wasn't staying focus like he should.Yes I know how it work my child was failing first to he fourth six weeks,once I got him some help girl he brought his grades up and pass to the next grade.

I had a coach tell me that also. He watched her at a sports camp and noticed that she was completely focused when engaged in the activity but when it came to lunch he said she struggled to organize herself and eat. She was not a behavior problem at all. I agree she is a kinesthetic learner. However this does not go over well with the school district. I have just got to the point that I do what I can with her at home and the rest of the education is up to the school district. I have decided she will not be put on meds and the school district will have to deal with her. Thanks for your comment.

>>>She is completely focused in skating, karate and general playing. She can clean her room and move through the basic routine in the AM so I just let it go.

Skatingmom, did you ever consider that your daughter might be a kinesthetic learner-- meaning she learns best while she's moving? Something to think about...

Thanks for the advice. I have an appointment with a councelor to see if it helps and start from there.

I certainly can understand about not wanting a label for your child, my husband felt that way also. For me it had nothing to do with a label, i really never gave it a thought, all i was worried about is how to help my kid. My husband would say, he's just like other kids, but i knew in my heart it was something more. So i went with my gut feeling and i am glad i did. I am glad i could this early so school would not be so difficult for him, the longer you wait, the harder it is to fix. It took me a couple of months to get a really good evaluation done, seen counselors, psych's, lots of reading on books, talked with other parents. Was very scared of what the outcome was going to be, but i figured i would not be doing my kid any justice if i did not check it out. My husband still is in somewhat denial, but i just do what i feel our child needs. If a doctor would suggest something i did not agree with i would tell them. So i had him tested 3 times for ADHD, i was in denial the first time i heard it. 2 years later, someone at the school said very nicely to us, your child is 100% ADHD and you really should consider meds. for him. So we did our homework again and we tried it and he now has the best hand writing in class, he still needs to be told to focus. You can not tell he is on any meds, he a seems to have his personality in check still.
So i guess if you have some doubt, it never hurts to check it out, just one's mom opinion. Wish you luck.

My son just started Kindergarden and a month into the school year, the teacher was telling me that he was not progressing as the other kids were. She told me it was a good idea to take him to his PC and have him tested. He was not consentrating, he would play with his hands and just interupt the class. I took him to his PC and they did a hearing test and found out his hearing was very low, he has always had ear infections and has had his touncils and andnoids out too. Now they put tubes in and he has improved a great deal. He is amazed he can hear so much. I still get the occasional call about him doing something out of the ordenary. Example: I got a note from the teacher this week that he got threw everything on the floor from a table, crayons, pencils, and when ask for an explanation he could not give it to the teacher or me. He new he had done something wrong but could not explain why he did it. The next morning he asked me to let him take an apple to both his teachers.

At home when he gets upset and frustrated he can not control himself, he starts calling people names and pushes. He is a sweet kid and most of the time he hugs and very censative but other times he just has a complete meltdown.

I have thought of getting him tested but I am afraid of getting him label for the rest of his life.

thank you, yes he also has sensory issues, attachment issues, learning disabilities, spirited child, FAC and possible Bi-polar disorder. The meds are working well for his school work, but we still are working one day at a time with all the other issues. I just recently tried love and logic by jim fey and thought is might work since it was for add and adhd kids, but it back fired on me and he reverted back to his old ways. I will not do that again. I do know that love, understanding and empathy and just listening works for my kid. Every child is different. I know what he is going to do before he does it, but i feel as a mom i need to figure out what is best and works for my kid, so i read and listen to tapes and talk to anyone who will listen, just to get a new idea for him that might work. Sometimes they work and sometimes they dont. But i do know that i never wanted to put my child on meds, but he is one of those kids that really need it. I tried everything else in the past 2 years and nothing really worked. Thanks for your input, thought you might want to know alittle more on my child.

I had similar concerns with my 5 year old. He has been diagnosed by an Occupational Therapist with Sensory Intregration Disorder. He fidgets has to move to concentrate and has hard times keeping his hands to himself. He is a little behind on motor skills (runs a little akward). His teacher thinks it because he is a young 5 he turned 5 in October and the school he attends lets kids in as long as they turn 5 before the 31st of Oct. He is very bright, well spoken and has a great imagination. I suggest that before you go straight to ADD check out Sensory Intregration disorder. it's a medical term that does not require medication. It's pretty interesting. It also qualifies under IEP and 504.

I still can not get my daughter to buy in to school. She is not able to take meds for ADD due to terrible side effects that were not worth the benefits. I will tell you that if your child does not get an IEP then go for a chapter 15/504 plan. It is not special education but it would give him some accommodations in school. It is a legal document that districts have to follow and you have to review it yearly like the IEP. It will not give one to one instruction or specialized instruction but it might help with some assistance with completion of work like extra time . All you have to do is provide the school with a copy of the diagnosis( psy, or PCP letter stating he is being treated for ADHD) Good Luck, if kids feel the school is helping them then sometimes they will buy into school.

thank you for sharing your story about your son. my son is soon to be 9 and has been on meds (concerta to start) since 1st grade. he is very loving and is a strong people person. my husband and i had the same fears you did and exhausted every possible behavior modification and option known to man before medication. our son was not aggressive towards others, but very sensitive and still is. we saw some improvement in his academic abilities but still periods of unfocused behavior. he is now in 3rd grade. we have tried several different meds and he is now on metadate, which seems to be working out fairly well with some occasional appetite loss during the lunch hour. although we believe he has the ability, our son still struggles with reading comprehension and some parts of math, and does not like to do it. we are in the process of having him tested for IEP eligibility. i am not certain that the current public school is a good fit for him, and we are exploring other options. congratulations to you all that you have found a med that helps expose your son's potential while keeping his personality. we live in maryland so please share any ideas you have that we may need to try to help him develop more "buy in" toward school.

Thank You for the advice. I read over the list and found it to be very interesting. I plan on taking with my daughter's PC. I just find it hard to understand how she can concentrated very easily in her sports( ice skating, and Karate) her ice skating coach is just baffled that she has ADD and the Karate instructors do not see any attention problems at all. School she is NOT ON TASK. I watched her in class and she moves in the seat, she fidgets with things, she does not look at the speaker. Two different kids.

Thanks for all the comments. The link was most useful.

It's important to remember, when discussing medication for attention, that every child is different. Any medication can act differently with a different child.

A great example of this is found in my identical twins. One girl reacts well and easily to medication, while her twin seems to react in a more complicated manner. Sometimes, there is no effect, or side effects. If identical twins have such different responses, imagine how differently your child may react compared to the child of another poster.

There are many medications out there belonging to several different families of medications. Dosage and timing of dosage can also need adjustment. Then throw in another medication for, say anxiety, and it can take quite a while to find the correct regimen. then the child grows, gains weight, goes through puberty, and new adjustments must be made.

What I'm trying tos say is that if you try one medication and it doesn't have good effect, you may need to try another.

Also, ADD and ADHD are often misdiagnosed. Proper diagnosis by a qualified specialist, such as a psychiatrist, is the way to go. Here is a list of many other conditions that mimic ADHD. If your child is not responding well to medication, it may be that she has a different disorder that needs treatment.

www.incrediblehorizons.com/mimic-adhd.htm

Ukraine,
Thanks for starting this discussion and giving parents a place to talk openly and honestly about such difficult decisions.

Thank You!! Our district forgets that parents know best. They feel they do, in reality they just want what is easy for them not what is best for the child. I battle this day after day. Next year I will battle with my kindergarten as well. Thank You for understanding and not passing judgment on me

we went thru our family doctor in minnesota. It was Park Nicollet Alexander Center in eden prairie, MN. Our insurance did cover it. You should be able to have your family doctor recommend some one for you or they might test for ADHD at their clinic. Good Luck

dear scatingmom: Sorry to hear that your daughter had to go thru that. I agree with you for not wanting to give her any other meds. You are the only one that really knows how your daughter reacts to things and I think you are handling it in a positive way. Good for you. the school does understand the adhd symptoms and they do not push him on the work. He does what he is capable, even on the meds. My son still can not focus after school for sports. Do the meds dont really work for him on that. But they do help him with him to focus in school and he is doing very well with math and reading. Some days he has bad ones and some days are better. But that is life and there are days like the weekends that we do not have him on meds. My child is full blown ADHD and we tried for 2 years everything and nothing worked. We said if the meds did not work for him we will keep searching for answers. Thanks for your comment and best wishes for you and your family.

It is so hard to have these kind of problems. I have a question, where do you go for ADD testing? Is it covered through insurance?

My daughter we had to take off the AdderalXR, she had lost all her coordination. She was extremely coordinated child, and after taking this med could not walk and chew gum at the same time. She begged us to take he off and we did. We did not see and significant change in her focusing ability. Glad to hear some of you have had positive experiences. Our was awful. We refuse to use any meds, she decided to just grin and bare the ADD. MY DAUGHTER FELT THE WAS ONLY 180 DAYS THAT SHE HAD TO GET THROUGH. It is hard to understand but her ADD only effects her at school and during homework time. I just limit the amount of homework time she is allow to spend. She gets 1/2 hour and what is done is done and what isn't does get done. It stopped the fighting and the crying. She is completely focused in skating, karate and general playing. She can clean her room and move through the basic routine in the AM so I just let it go. The med was not worth the side effects. If I get notes about her not being focus and just say to the teacher she is ADD so give her the information in chunks and slower. I am NOT medicating her!

I had a similar problem with my son. He was on Concerta for over a year but I noticed it was making him sick. He would cry sometimes because he experienced very bad headaches and stomache aches with Concerta. It really wasn't helping him to stay on task either. We ended up switching to Adderall XR and it's the best thing that could have ever happened. This medication keeps him focused in school and he's still his true self.

oh my I just wanted to thank all of you ladies for all the helpful hints on here especially about the meds. My son is severe ADHD and is repeating Kindergarten for the 2nd time and I'm worried it's going to be a 3rd. He is always off task, hurting other children, interrupting in class, ect. It's so frustrating and I work so much I'm not able to spend as much quality time with him as I would like. I hate medicating him but I know that I need to. But now that I have heard good things about this I'll know what to ask the doctor about!! Thank you wonderful ladies!!! God Bless!!!

my daughter was evaluated for special ed classes recently.although very bright she has such difficulty completing homework and every day tasks. we have tried everything from medicines and interventions at school to private councelling .she has adhd as well weare at wits end on this situationany ideas would be helpful.

All I can say is that boys are much more immature these days. Both my sons were held back one yr while still in Kinder. That helped them a lot. Not being stressed helps to focus on other areas to improve like social skills... There is a collection of books called Don't Rant and Rave on Wednesdays!/Don't Pop Your Cork on Mondays!etc one for every day of the week that you can read to your child... Good luck !

Glad to hear things are working out for your son and family. There is such a judgement out there about using medications with kids. For us, it was as much a safety concern as an attention issue. Even with a truck barreling down the street, he would not hesitate to step right out into the road or run out into a parking lot. He didn't have the ability to pause long enough to stop from taking the next step.

We have also had good experiences with Concerta. My son is the same as he always was but happier. When we talk about it, he says people aren't always bugging him to stop doing things. His grades soared, he has more friends, he's his own wonderful self.

THANK YOU HONEYBEEZ_81 from ukraine

It's refreshing to hear such a great success story from another parent, rather than a doctor. Your Concerta experience is very similar to ours. I never thought it was possible to love my son any more than I already did!!

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