Thanks. Sorry for the delayed reply. I have been on both sides of the fence so I understand your dilema. In my experience over the past 28 years of medical and special education advocacy, typically it is the child with special needs that has been the victim of bullying on a daily basis not the other way around. Even so, there needs to be a behavior modification plan in place. The IEP and behavior modification plan are fluid documents meant to be changed and updated. In regard to children with a diagnosis, I can't emphasize enough the importance of Parents and Teachers being watchfull for "subtle cues" just prior to the "special needs" childs outburst of perceived bullying or behavioral outburst. There is always a reason for the behavior, always. Try to anticipate it and intervene. Positive reinforcement and "catching them being good" works wonders too as you know. I hope this helps & thanks for taking the time respond to my advice post.

Wow, what a great advocate you are for your child. I am a site director for an afterschool program and it would be great if all my parents were like you. Hearing your voice during a parent open house or workshop would really make a difference to your childs school. The problem that I am having is that most parents make excuses for the bullying because of special needs the child may have. ADHD/ Aspergers/Autism, and a variety of other special needs disorders seems to give parents the green light to allow thier kid to be aggresive, or be a bully. They use their kids special need as a crutch to say I can't be overy strict, and that it is not thier child's fault that they act that way. Also, many parents still think that its okay for boys to be aggresive because of the saying, boys will be boys, and that if the kid can't handle it, he is overly sensitive. I am still overly strict with my kids when it comes to bullying, but I am limited to what I can do. I can't talk to kids to loudly, I can't touch them, and I can't put them in time out. The only thing I can do is talk to the child and have the victim express his feelings. I also talk to parents on a regular basis and hope that they enforce the problem at home. This is usually not the case, and it is not easy to get rid of a child from a program, especially if they have special needs. Although this does happen in very severe cases. Yet I believe bullying should not be happening at all and will now establish open parent discussion groups about this issue. The voice of a parent and how this behavior effects thier child personally is the most powerful weapon against violence. I know I will have a lot of parents speak up about the problems of bullying. Unfortunately, the parents of the bully never tend to show up to these types of meetings. Yet I still will be able to give all parents the outcomes of these meetings and let parents know what the parents decided as a group on how to handle these issues. Thanks for reminding me how important this issue is to our children, and that it is important for parents to feel they have some control over the situation. Schools should be an equal partnership between parents, teachers, and children. Just keep in mind that most teachers I know want to be really strict about bullying, but its the administration that holds them back from enforcing a lot of rules about discipline, because of a variety of reasons. Even though I am a site director, I have to go through a lot of procedures with my director before I can make any harsh descisions about expelling and suspensions. My loud voice does make a difference though, and yours will too. Keep up the good work.
SharonM