What to do when you've been shut out?

Help, join in school activities anyway you can. You as any person are already part of the community. Be part of the family is only up to you!!!

I am going to court in June for visitation with my grandson. In Ark Gov. Beebe just signed a new Bill giving Grandparents Rights! A lot of Grandparents doesn't know this because it was just done. FIGHT for the right that your grandkids deserve. To know their Grandparents. Parents useing their kids as weapons to hurt the Grandparents is hurting the children and it has to STOP! Grandchildren need their Grandparents in their life, that is if the grandparent is responsible. FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT!

First of all, you need to evaluate yourself. Are you a control freak? If you are not, you have a great challenge on your hands, because you may be dealing with control freaks. I personally, have gone through this. My ex-husband was remarried and he went to court behind my back and got sole custody of my children. I was heart broken that a judge never even inquired about the children's mother. I had moved and never received a courtdate. Well, my ex's wife parents
owned a Christian school. I have two older children that also attended this school. Let me not ramble.
I used to work at the school as a kindergarten teacher.
I never got along with the pastor's wife, who at the time was the vice principal. When I got a divorce, my ex married this same woman's daughter. It was real crazy at first. I had to do a whole lot of praying. These two women acted as if I never birthed my two younger children into the world. They tried to take control of the whole situation. My ex allowed them to do this up until his mother in law went as far as to get a restraining order on me. When this occured, my ex was devastated and started operating differently. This woman is a pastor's wife. Her husband, who was my ex pastor, did not know anything about the restraining order. Now mind you, I used to work for this woman who was a complete control freak. Recently, she phoned me and told me that the Lord told her to call me and to apologize. Only the Lord knows what this woman and her daughter have taken me through. My children no longer attend her school. They are older now and my two younger children cannot stand her or her daughter (which is their stepmom).
They have grown to realize that both of these woman have some serious issues. My children will soon be grown. I know things will drastically change at this point, and I cannot wait until the Lord vindicates me for the suffering these two women have taken me through. Remember these were not my grandchildren, these were my very own children. You need to have a serious talk with your son and tell him how you feel about the whole situation. I would then talk to his wife and to his wife's mother. It is truly unbelievable how women want control over other women's children. I would never in my life try to keep a chilld away from his mother or grandmother if I was a stepmom or stepgrandmother. My daughter tried to keep her daughter away from her dad's family and I told her that she was wrong and that she had better do something about it. My daugther did not want me to be on a friendly basis with my granddaughter's other grandmother. I cannot understand this type of thinking. People truly need to look past their own selfish needs and pain to do what is best for the children involved. My advice to you is to keep on loving your grandchildren. Call them, email them, write them. Never stop demonstrating your love. Even through the pain, the Lord is going to eventually show your grandchildren the truth. I am a living witness, my children totally understand now. They love me and I know that they would do anything in their power to take care of me when I get older because I never stopped loving them in spite of all of the unnecessary drama. In retrospect, my ex used control over my children as a weapon because I left him and he allowed his new wife and mom to take cold advantage. When I stepped back and did not give them what they wanted, they had to operate a whole different way. The Lord will vindicate my children for all the suffering these women have taken them through as well. I want you to know that God cares and that he understands the language of tears and every broken heart. Be blessed.

Helpful Grandma - I am sure that anything anyone here says does not bring comfort to your heart. But like many others have alluded to here, I would check with someone concerning grandparent rights. I have found that AARP has a lot of information concerning grandparent rights. And depending upon where you live and resources, Legal Aid may be able to assist you. And don't be overwhelmed by the legal system if you choose to go that path. You don't really have to have an attorney - there are many self-help legal centers available to assist you.

But more importantly, you have to take careof yourself. Do you go to church? I have found in my situation that the only thing that gives me a peace is turning it over to the man upstairs. Sometimes that is hard to do, but in the long run, we don't have any control over other people or the situation.

My prayers are for you and others here that are dealing with this same difficult siuation.