Adjusting/Transitioning to a new school

When my son left preschool & headed for kindergarten, he was extremely anxious. prior to beginning our summer vacation, i called his new school & asked to come in to view the classroom. the teacher & aide, as well as the children, were very welcoming. my son got to sit on the rug with the other kids for a story, hold up the picture cards for weather of the day & watch how a typical morning routine unfolded. during the summer we would drive by the school & talk about where he would play & what classroom was his. we also were able to go back into the classroom a week or so before school & meet with his teacher again. i was amazed when i dropped him off the first day! no tears at all & he readily separated from me. i would recommend meeting the teacher, touring the school, asking if there is a new students/parents welcoming committee. do all you can to set up playdates (if your kids are younger) prior to them entering a new school, so your child will know at least one or two children in his classroom. as a parent, it helps to join the parent/teacher organization or to volunteer at lunchtime (a good way to meet other moms & develop relationships with your child's classmates as well).

poet11

Parent Comments on "Adjusting/Transitioning to a new school"

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I just moved and my kids will be attending a new school and making new friends. I am worried that they will not like the new school. My son already wants to stay with his dad because he wants to be with his old friends. I'm trying to keep him positive. My daughter seems to be excited. Would you let your son live with his dad because he wants to remain at his old school/be with old friends.

My son told his mother to park the car down the street from the school and get her kissing over with! She cried all the way home.
On the first day of school we have many lower elementary parents who want to just be in the hall close by their child's classroom. We allow it on the first day, but after that, they must stay home.
Having your child attend the class and meet the teacher before the first day was a good idea. We have a Parent Night the week before school. I get to explain the procedures, rules and expectations. I give the kids and parents copies of them and I have a time where the parents are asked to do some of the work that their children will be doing during the year.
Everyone seems to enjoy it and I get to meet the parents in a relaxed, non-threatening atmosphere.

My son is going to the 4th grade. The thing is that he will be attending school in a totally different state. He was attending school in North Carolina and will be in Maryland now because he is with his father. I am opened for suggestion as to how I can still be involved with his education while being so far away?

I agree with poet11. getting your child familiar with the school, teacher, principal and the classroom setting prior to the actual day of school is a major plus.

In my area when children only go half day during the year. I wish that this area would get a full day of kindergarten. The surrounding counties do. This is the only county I know of in my area that still just has half day kindergarten. When children start kindergarten here they only go for 1 day the first week than two the second. This is the transition faze. It gives them time to get to know the other children and the teacher. During this time they are shown the building and get to know their schedule for the year

Here in the UK kids get a week of half days when they start school and prior to that the teacher comes to your home to chat with you and your child. I didn't realise that this wasn't the case in the US. I am going to use your advice for when we move over. I think it is excellent and would not have occured to me, being that my daughters are already used to a school routine, that it may be helpful to them to get an idea of how their new schools will work had I not have read your piece. Thank you

What a great idea! I'll keep my ears open for children that may be attending the school my preschooler will be attending later this year.

I think many of us have experienced similar situations with our children or when we too transitioned to a new school. I think the best thing is build a huge support system for your kids at home, and encourage them to get involved in sports or any extracurricular activities that he or she would enjoy. This is the way to meet people that make you feel at home and part of a community.

Another huge adjustment is going from elementary to middle school. I think Middle school is the toughest as at those ages, kids can be real mean, bullies take on different levels plus the added stress of body/hormone changes make it really challenging. We had moved within the same city during 7th grade and my youngest attended a new middle school. His transition was rough as he really missed his friends. He constantly asked to be moved back. It took a whole year and some for him to accept the change but I think he grew in the process and learned new coping skills.

There are so many levels of adjusting/transitioning through school...just getting into kindergarten is a small introduction. Enjoy the experience and keep in mind that you can't always kiss it and make it better. Just being there to listen and watch the change happen in your child is truly rewarding!

I'm going through a big transition with my toddler- similar to what alingane describes. The first couple weeks of daycare she was enthralled. She loves other kids so having the opportunity to play all day was great for her. Then she hit a huge wall and has become very clingy. I'm hoping in the weeks to come she will slowly get used to the new routine. The next time we do a major transition I want to ease her into it more.

You reminded me of the 'phasing-in' process that my mom's preschool implemented. Very effective strategy! And it shouldn't be limited to toddlers or 5-year-olds; I bet an age-appropriate warm up for older kids would be effective as well. For me, transitioning from my elementary school (where I had been with the same kids since pre-K) to a middle school cross-town was quite dramatic. Talking with my parents about the new neighborhood and what positive changes would be in store for me was very helpful.

This is great advice! When we transitioned my son into preschool (admittedly kids are in a different socially / emotionally at 3 than at 5!) we did very similar activities to get him used to the idea of going to the school and he was SOOO excited on his first day, and actually into the first week or two.

But then, after a couple of weeks when he realized that this preschool thing wasn't going away, he hit a wall and just didn't want to go at all. So, it's very important to keep actively working on the transition and supporting your child well into at least the first month if not two, to make sure that your child is doing well once he or she starts to build his or her own relationships at the school.

The unknown can be frightening. Even little things to make the new school a little more familiar will help a lot.

Great advice -- for young kids transitioning to kindergarten and big kids transitioning to high school and college! The same ideas about taking "baby steps" to get to know your future environment before you start day one apply to so many stages in a child's life. I think it's really important to teach kids how to embrace transition while they're young!

One of my fondest memories of helping my daughter transition to kindergarten (some 20 odd years ago!) was a little gathering we held at our house. There were some kids we knew from preschool and some others in the neighborhood who were all going to be attending the same elementary school. A few days before the beginning of school we had a little afternoon "tea" at our house for all the kids we knew who were starting kindergarten (there were about 10 altogether). We made cupcakes and had the kids put the icing and decorations on them. We had a treasure hunt for peanuts (in their shells) in the backyard. We played a few games and the kids all got to know each other a bit. Then they were excited to go to kindergarten and see the new friends they had already made!

This is a great idea. My son has been in the same daycare/preschool since he was 12 weeks old. He is now almost 5 and will be headed off to Kindergarten next year. We have been trying to think of creative ways to make the transition go smoothly and I think these are wonderful ideas.

Thanks!

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