childs odd behavior - what to do now?

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Over the weekend I learned of a kid in my sons school harassing other kids about using the bathroom at that same time as he did. One kid even said that the harassing kid asked to see his "private" and wanted to show him his. Further, he asked if they could pee in the toilet at the same time. I asked my son if he ever had been asked about using the bathroom with this kid. He said yes, all the time. He did say that he would not let him and never showed privates.

Once the teacher did tell me that the same harassing kid had been caught with his hand on my sons privates (clothes on) during lunch. Now, I think she only told me because something else was going on with the same kid and by a fluke she offered the information.

My son also told me that there had been a rule that the harassing kid could only use the bathroom if he got permission from the teacher. I asked why this kid had the rule and my son told me it was because that same kid walked in the stall when my son was going to the bathroom. I never heard of that until this past weekend.

I wrote a note to the teachers insisting that they keep the harassing kid out of or near the bathroom when my son was in it and I wanted to know by 10 a.m. that they agreed. I did get a call letting me know that pretty much I was overreacting and that this was normal behavior and boys do this and all they are doing is playing and hiding from the teachers. I told them I did not care what they called it, please keep the kid away from my kid. They agreed.

I don't even think the school is letting this kids parents know what the deal is. This is not even my first incident with this kid. He has been hitting and being obnoxious all year. Same as usual, when I brought it up and wanted it changed, the school insisted that I was overreacting and it was my sons fault for not speaking up.

My son is NOT going back to this school in the fall.

Has anyone dealt with anything similar or have any advice. I am still irritated that this school is so lax about this type of behavior. They even told me once when I was trying to get it resolved that this kids mom pays tuition too. So basicly, too bad for me and my son.

Thanks for your help.

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Parent Comments on "childs odd behavior - what to do now?"

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Go ahead and write the school a letter, but from what I can tell, they have known about this situation and could care less. If they receive a call from someone higher up on the food chain, that would grab their attention much more than a letter from you.

Even though your son will not attend that school when it is over, I would hope you still do everything you can as other students will still be there with this abusing student. It sounds like you will at least try, and am sure if other parents knew, they would appreciate what you have done and step up to the plate themselves to help.

Thanks alot of everyone's advice. I keep going over different scenarios of what to do. I am afraid that if I make a big deal out of it to the school, that my son will suffer the effects of them. I have spoke to the director (owner of the school) in the past about the hitting issues and gotten the same "I'm making too big of a deal"...
I did not even bother talking to her about the recent issue.
So, if I go back to them with a firm letter or they get a call from the DOE, does my son ultimately pay the price?
Or, do I let it go and wait out the next 4 weeks of the school year and be relieved that he is no longer going there.
If the school does what they said they are going to do, then the bathroom issue should be monitored.
What do you think?

I completely agree with momvic. Try once more to get the school involved. You probably feel very much alone in this since the school has such a "no big deal" attitude. Stay strong for your son and this other boy.

I would write a very formal letter to the school and cc it to the headmaster or owner. If you have an attorney that is a friend of the family or a family member, I would get that letter on their letterhead or cc the letter to them. Let the school know that you mean business. I would not tolorate this out of anybody else's child or my own. I have two boys and one is 5. If I ever heard that my son was acting that way-- it would be straight to the psychologist!

I am not certain this is your place to speak with the mom. It should be the school doing this, it is their responsibilty.

I would wonder if the mom would believe you. Just you saying this is happening will put her on the defensive and when people are like this, they close their ears and eyes to the truth.

I stand by my earlier post of calling your state DOE as well as police station since the school does not deem what is happening as threatening behaviour.

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Parent Comments on "childs odd behavior - what to do now?"