Emotional Maturity is More Important than Age

As a parent, I was unsure what to do when my intelligent little summer child entered school. I was happy to see him go, but he was always behind the emotional maturity of his classmates. With tutoring in the summer after first grade, he caught up. But even though his grades were A's and B's, he was still behind by the time he finished 6th grade. I made the decision after much soul searching and advice from psychologists to hold him back and have him repeat 6th grade. The principal said they were switching textbooks in some of the classes and they placed him in the gifted program. He blossomed. After he graduated 8th grade, he said he was glad we held him back. Now he had friends in two grades too. To make a long story short, he did well in high school, and now has a physics degree. It should not be seen as punishment, but allowing a child to mature at his/her own speed. Some of his friends had repeated first grade too because they were not emotionally mature. Boys especially need that extra time to mature in the lower grades. I am very glad I made that decision 17 years ago.

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You did a wonderful thing... My daughter, although bright, was never held back but her immaturity (socially) shined brighter than the sun. Her immaturity at absolving academic work was met by my continue tutoring of her. She has recently graduated from high school (on time), but she hasn't kissed a boy, hugged a boy (other than myself), or dated (I was her escort to the Prom, etc... see photo)... She begins College in Aug. 2009 and still ask me questions about "boys" and "sex"... I explain, explain, and explain some more... I allow television and books to fill in the blanks I dire not thread. She is maturing slowly, and recently a "Young Man" captured her eye (think God it wasn't her heart) and now the two are talking. He will be attending the same Junior College this coming Fall and I've met the parents. In short, girls tend to have their moments of immature (mental) growth, just as boys do. Soon, they'll reach their peak. Just keep an eye on them.

thank you so much your story touched me!!!!!!!

I held my son back in the first grade. He could do the work fine, but would not. There is a big difference. Now he's in the 6th grade and performing well with his class. He has also found out that he is not the only person whose parents decided to have their kids repeat a grade. Boys especially need to have this extra time (occasionally) and parents should realize that it is not a reflection on their skills, but on how much they care for the child. Not everyone can understand and accept that a child needs to repeat a grade for maturity.

This is great advice and relates to a lot of the discussion I have seen recently on Community. Of course every situation/child is different, but it is really nice to hear a success story.

My twins were premature. The doctor told me that they may be behind emotionally and physically than children their age. I held my daughter back in Kindergarten and it did do her some good, but she is still struggling in reading and spelling, because of speech issues. Her twin brother is doing extremely well though and has done good in all his classes.

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