Don't Do Your Child's Homework

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As a former first-grade teacher, I would like to emphasize the importance of not doing your child's homework for her. Sure, we all want our children to do well and complete their work in a timely manner. And I know it is hard to watch your child make mistakes and take what seems like eternity to answer a question you know the answer to. But if you do the work for your child she won't learn how to do it and her teacher won't know that she is struggling with it.

When I was a teacher I had a student who was struggling with his weekly homework. To speed things up, his mom was giving him the answers and doing his homework for him.

I was unaware of this until finally the parent came to me and told me about their homework struggle every night. I thanked the parent for sharing this information with me, and we brainstormed ways to make homework time more pleasant and take a lot less time. In the end, I gave the child a modified weekly homework packet that had him working on things that he needed help with and I gave him less homework so he was able to finish it in a timely manner.

I also gave the parent ideas of how to guide the process while not doing the homework for him. I explained how helpful it was for me to know what he didn't understand. I also explained that she could review the homework with him and if he filled in the wrong answer she could help him, but then have him write the correct answer next to the wrong one so I could see what he was able to do independently.

With time this practice helped and the child had more free time and a better attitude about homework and I had a better sense of where he needed help.

If your child is sinking under a load of homework, talk to the teacher as soon as you can, before your child develops an attitude that he can't do homework by himself. After all, homework shapes attitudes about school as well as the skills children learn in the classroom.

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Parent Comments on "Don't Do Your Child's Homework "

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I agree. The learn from mistakes as we all do. I actually got a bad note from my son's first grade teacher because I helped him on a home work assignment that was hard but I was told in no uncertain terms to NOT help. And my son has ADD......so it was hard not to. What I did is be available if he has any questions but not actually give him the answer and now that he is in second grade he does his homework independently and without any fuss.

this is about math, I usually start her off by doing a problem and explain how it is done, if borrowing from the next number or whatever, do the whole problem and she can use it as an example, sometimes the book has one already. but it does help children to actually do one and explain as you go along, and then watch while they do one and offer ideas, like oh oh, you forgot something. without telling answers. this is a 3th grader.

You really have to make a judgement call. Certainly not helping at all could lead to the child shutting down. Making sure that your child can overcome challenge on their own is also important. It is very hard to not take over the work. Many people I work with are still very active in helping their kids with college work. Some kids will always struggle with writing or math.

I like the idea of helping my child come up with the right answer if he has it wrong but writing the correct one next to the original one he had so the teacher can see what he had wrong but see that we did help him.

I second the final comment!

"If your child is sinking under a load of homework, talk to the teacher as soon as you can, before your child develops an attitude that he can't do homework by himself. After all, homework shapes attitudes about school as well as the skills children learn in the classroom."

In fact, I first ask my child to talk to the teacher. If that doesn't work (for whatever reason), then I talk with the teacher. My experience is that teachers are quite responsive and helpful in those situations. I have, on occasion, sent in a personal note, along with a partially complete homework assignment, saying that my daughter was up til 10:30 working on this and this was all she could accomplish. Both the teacher and my children appreciate this kind of help.

And if your child is in any kind of special needs (IEP) program, talk with their teachers about this. Make sure they are giving your child all the allowances provided by the IEP. And if your child continues to struggle after moving out of an IEP program, talk with the teachers about their history. my experience is that teachers are generally willing to help out a child when they know there is a need.

One thing I am challenged with, now that my child is in middle school and is writing long reports, is the "typing of the report". My daughter is a very slow at typing (no typing taught in elementary school). Thus far I have asked for and have gotten permission to type up portions of her report assignments. I do leave her enough to complete during her homework time, but I refuse to have her typing til midnight and losing sleep. Of course, as she grows older, she will need to learn to type and to take ownership for the entire homework assignment. If only the middle school taught touch typing. :-(

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Parent Comments on "Don't Do Your Child's Homework "

Related keywords: homework, struggle, teacher