How to Help in a Homework Emergency

Sometime you're going to find your child "stuck" on a homework assignment.  You'll catch her staring at a blank page. Or she'll simply say, "I can't do this." Maybe she's given up because she waited until the last minute to start an assignment she got days ago. Maybe the teacher didn't give clear instructions.

I've been through both these experiences with my kids. And I know how hard it is to resist the temptation to just do the assignment yourself. But if you do that, your child will start to expect you to bail him out more and more. Pretty soon, you'll be the one who owns his homework, not him.

Here are some ideas to help. I got some from teachers and some I stumbled upon myself.   I wish I could say they worked all the time. But I'd encourage you to give them a try because if you succeed, there's a double benefit. Your child gets the homework done and also learns that there's a systematic way to approach a task that seems overwhelming.

Start by asking your child to explain the assignment to you. If he can't, ask him if he has a written assignment sheet from the teacher. If he doesn't, see if he has a friend in the class who can help. Or look for the contact information that you collected on back-to-school night and have your child contact the teacher.

Next, you can ask a series of questions to help him focus. For example: What information do you need to do this? Where can you find it? Where do you think you should start? Then, what's your next step?

If the assignment is in math, ask him to see if he can find information in his notes to solve the problem or look in the textbook for a similar problem. If he comes up with the answer to a problem but doesn't know if it's correct, ask, "Does this answer seem reasonable?" and "Can you solve the problem another way?" If your child doesn't have a "study buddy" for times like this, resolve to help him find one, particularly if you don't feel confident about your own math skills. Or perhaps there's an older student in the neighborhood who can be enlisted as a future tutor.

If your child has to write an essay and can't seem to get started, ask her to talk about what she might want to say. See if you can get her to summarize her most important point. That's her thesis statement and should be in her introduction. Ask her to tell you examples or anecdotes that support the main point. That information belongs in the body of her essay. After she's thought about the assignment and told you what she wants to say, it's likely to be easier for her to say it in writing.